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Lost My Ex (of 8 years) to a drug overdose


HindSight

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HindSight

I dont know where to really start here. I lost my ex of 8 years to drug addiction. He was a coaine user when i first met him. i knew it was a bad drug and i didnt do it at first. i did after years with him start using drugs with him. his disease got worse and worse year after year. i found out that after i left him alone one weekend to go see a friend out of town that he had stared to shoot up cocaine. i finally decided to end it with him because i did not want to end up married to an addict. i actually moved to another state to make sure i did not go back to him. well 2 years after i broke up with him i was shopping on Black Friday with my new boyfriends family and i got the call that i always knew would happen. He had died on Thankgiving day. I wrote him a letter after we broke up telling him that if he continued to use drugs at his mothers house ( in his bedroom) she would find him there dead. And she did. She was trying to wake him up to eat thanksgiving lunch and he was dead. that was 8 years ago,

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Sorry that your loved one passed . Elizabeth Kubler ross is a good author. She has a lot of good books that helped me deal with my daughter's passing. Blessings

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ModKonnie

Hindsight, I am very sorry about your ex. You did the right thing in leaving him because there was nothing you could do to "fix" him or make him stop. It was a decision he had to make. Many, many times, particularly with women, the addict ends up dragging the partner into abusing or addiction. Please don't feel guilty for your decision. We will be here for you, ModKonnie

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HindSight

Thanks guys. seems no matter what way i try to handle his death it doesnt take away this empty sad hole in my heart. husband doesnt really talk about stuff like that. he would rather just ignore emotions a lot of the time. he has anexity and that seems to be the way he thinks is right to handle it. lol i dont want to go to the mental health office in our town and i cant afford to go to a pshycologist, but sometimes it feels like if i dont talk to someone about this it is gonna just get worse. there is so much to say and no one want to hear me go on and on about my ex and his addiction and death. i freaked out at his viewing the day before the funeral because people from his mothers work were in their right next to the casket laughing like they were a "get together" i started saying i dont know any of these people he didnt know any of these people. then for month after i had dreams where he always looked like he was in the process of dying. i pictured his face while i showered every day, i thought about him night and day. when they say that guilt is a part of grief they aint lying. i knew that he was shooting up and all my friends said that i should tell his mom even though we were broke up. well i didnt and i feel like that is my biggest regret ever in life is not saying something to his family.

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