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chelsea

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So im new to this gonna give it a try and see if it helps. My name is Chelsea and im 21 when I was 18 I met my boyfriend Stephen and shortly after that I got pregnant. We were not ready I was 18 and had my whole life ahead of me but we knew what we wanted to do we were going to keep the baby. I was 12 weeks and my doctor told us I had a misscarrige. I knew we werent ready but we would have loved and cared for our baby just as well as any other parent. After everything happened I went on the pill I figured now we can plan for a family but it didnt happen like that. A few months after starting the pill I was feeling werid and when I explained the symptoms to my friend(who just had a baby) she said take a pregnancy test. I shouldnt be worried to take a test if im on the pill but somehow I knew I was pregnant again ao I looked at the test and sure enough I was pregnant. Everyyone was excited! Then it was time to find out the sex...its a girl..the doctor had to tell me 3 timea before it actually sunk in I was gonna be a mom to a beautiful little girl named Brooklynn Marie. My mom and sister were planing my baby shower and me and Stephen were getting her room together I was one month away from my due date and some problem came along I went in for a weekly check up and my doctor stopped in mid sentence and thats when I knew something was wrong. He looked at me and Stephen and said im so so sorry but I cant hear Brooklynns heartbeat. At that point I think my heart stop beating aswell. I couldnt think or talk all I could do is cry. And on top of that I had to go to the hospital and deliver her. She was 3lb 5oz she was an angel. She looked a lot like her daddy. We had her picture taken and we said our goodbyes at the hospital the next day we had a funarel for her. I had amazing support but everyone moved on but me im stuck and I dont know what to do anymore. Me not getting over her death is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend(Brooklynns dad) and I have panic attacks now I dont know how to move on without forgetting about her.

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Chelsea - I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is so difficult, and so cruel. Please be patient with yourself and keep talking to others who will support and understand you. Forums like this or in-person support groups can be very helpful in moving forward in your grief. It is important to know that women and men often grieve differently, and as a result, it can put stress on their relationship. You might find the following reading helpful: http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Brochures/stillbirth_miscarriage_and_infant_death.aspx.

You'll never forget your precious Brooklyn Marie, and I hope the panic attacks will subside with time. Take care.

Maria

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter, Brooklynn. If you post in the loss of an adult child forum, that you will find alot of support there even if your child was an infant. I have had two children die, my 28 year old, Jesse, in October and my infant son, Taylor died when he was 6 weeks. That was in 1987. And I too developed panic disorder I believe from my baby's death but not it is full blown due to my older son's death.

I have found a lot of nice people here who have been so helpful.

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Thank you both..this is really new to me because I just dont talk about it to anyone I just get to upset talking about her. I just cant take it anymore I have noone to talk to I dont know anyone thats been through this.everybody tells me it will get better with time...is it true or am I gonna be like this for the rest of my life.

Im very sorry to hear about your children.this is such a horrible thing to go through its just not fair at all.

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Chelsa,

After reading your post, my wife mentioned to me that you may want to think about contacting the hospital you delivered, and ask for a social worker. Ask them is there are any support groups for mothers who have lost their child. Explain your situation and see if they can point you in the right direction. Your child will be with you forever, as ours will be with us forever. You will find that with a support group of other mothers who share your experience, maybe some consuling, you will begin to repair yourself, as well as your relationship. Might even want to take your boyfriend with you.

God Bless,

Al

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