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loss of my boyfriend


merandaj

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I lost my boyfriend, Bobby, almost 7 months ago in a motor cycle accident.

he really was my everything, and i cant seem to move on, i feel as if im just floating through the days continuing with all my regular things, but not enjoying anything. when i am happy, i immediately sad again. i am 22 years old and just feel like i have nothing left. im just so tired of being tired and depressed, i cry everyday. i just miss him so much, i've never found anyone as perfect as him, he was so special to me and its just so crazy that he's gone. at first it felt unreal but as the months go on, i know he's not gong to come through the door, or call, or ever even see him again. i feel very lost without him in my life. i am on medication, for anxiety and depression now, and when he first passed away i did go see a therapist but gave up after going three times.

we had a perfect movie-like romance and it was ended way too tragically and way too soon. i feel like he gave me strength and now i have nothing, i dont even feel anything at all in my heart except empty and sadness.

my family has also been trying t grieve, i have two younger sisters, and my mom was actually the one who introduced me and bobby, so needless to say this has been very hard on all of us.

does anyone have any advice? or someone who has been through this at such a young age?

i know this will forever change me, it already has, but i dont want to live the rest of my life in a sad depression

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I lost my wife of 56 years six months ago. Even though you are much younger than I, I have experienced all of the symptoms that you described and I am still struggling with it. It is hell. What has helped me are a few sessions of grief counseling, support of my church friends and everyday friends, minimizing being alone in the house, volunteering at the local food pantry, crying, screaming, writing about our marriage in a journal, and, most of all, just letting it all out. Grief is a process that simply takes time and it certainly isn't easy. I have no where near gotten over her but, I am told, that a time will come when I will not hurt but I will always remember her. You are much too young to give up. Hang in there.

GeneB

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Basically I suggest browsing through the other threads here - you may find more than you expected as far as ideas on how to help, people experiencing similar feelings etc etc. Best to you -

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Merandaj I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad your are reaching out for help.

My husband's passing has been very hard on all of us. I know your in pain right now and it is alright to feel emotions. We still have our good days and our bad days.

If you stopped going to therapy after three sessions maybe that therapist wasn't the correct one for you, I went though two therapist before I found one that was a perfect fit.

The question is how to get out of your sad depression or what I like to call the "new you". GeneB is very correct minimize being alone. Get out and do stuff. I know with anxiety this can be a difficult thing but it what you have to do. My question to the group a few weeks ago was "how do I take care of myself". Eating healthy food and exercise really helps. If your alone keep yourself busy. Call a friend, read a book, find a hobby, make some cookies for someone, reorganize your closet, write a letter, keep a journal, watch a funny movie, gardening etc etc.

Best wishes to you.

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merandaj

Everyone here has gret advice for you. they all said it well - keep busy this pain will be less as time goes on.

What you are experiencing is NORMAL. 6 month mark - the year mark- all major marks are not easy to get past. The only thing that helps is time to help the pain of the loss be not so strong. I know people who are years out and still feel the pain. I am over a year now and I cry as well, not every day but often. I cry for me - not for him. He is at peace and not long working hard to exist. join a group hospice will have one in your area you can join even if you were not part of that before, and that is free. Also do something for others will help you to know we are not alone. I wish you will sending you a hug

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Thank you so much for writing in, sometimes it feels good just to vent. I miss him so much, everyday is so hard. Thank you everyone for the advice!

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I´m very sorry for your loss, it must be really hard to face the loss of a partner. My loss is still very recente so I have no personal advice to give to you, all I can tell you is what I´ve been reading and it´s all about time. You made it through to the 6 month mark, so you will keep on going and as time goes by memories won´t hurt so much. Hang in there and keep coming back here anytime you need to know you´re not alone in this process, others feel the same way you do

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