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Reality is setting in that they are gone


Bamakathy

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My sister and I sorted through my mom's things today, what to keep, what to donate. The tears came to me in waves. I'd catch the scent of her perfume, or find a little note she had left herself, and I would just fall apart. When I started crying, my sister would. We spent part of the moment recounting childhood memories. I just can't wrap my head around losing my mom and my dad within three months. I'm having a hard time sleeping. I'm eating too much, as food comforts me. I drove my mom's car today, and found a CD in her player. Listened and cried some more. Thanks for reading, as writing helps.

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stillfighting431

Hi,

I’m so sorry for your losses. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing 2 parents so quickly. My sister & I, are still taking turns to sort thru our mom’s stuff as it’s too painful for one person to do it alone. We too breakdown at every little thing that reminds us of her & this house is full of memories. We keep finding her stuff all over & the tears come. It’ll be 2 years for us on 24th July but it still feels like yesterday. The pain is still intense. I can lose myself in something for a while & then the reality hits me that I’ll never see or hear her again. I’ve a panic attack & cry my eyes out. At least we’ve our sisters who can understand our grief & support us. It’ll start to become less painful with time. Message me if you want to talk. Hang in there .You’re not alone.

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Lostwithoutmum

Bamakathy, I am so sorry for your losses, it's absolutely heartbreaking to lose a parent, to say nothing of losing both within such a short space of time.

I relate to how you feel regarding the pain of seeing mum's belongings - and the precious memories they evoke.

Mums are so special, the leave a gigantic hole when they leave.... Everywhere reminds me of her. I remember her when I am in the kitchen when I cook (she always did), when I look at the spices jar.....I 'hear her voice' in my memory when I am ill, when I am down, when I am happy..I see her in the flowers she has planted....the armchair she always sat on in front of the tele, the olive oil soap she used, the lemon and orange trees she loved looking at when we travelled anywhere, the songs she liked....I breathe the beautiful scent of her clothes..

Honestly I know it is especially hard to get through mum's stuff but whether I do or not, mum is everywhere.

My heart goes out to you, this is the hardest experience ever...

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