Tragic Loss - Im Still Hurting...

[Woddlesmom]

I had my sweet little chiguagua for seven years ... He was rescued when I got him. When I first laid my eyes on him he was so tiny that I could see his ribs under his skin. I picked him up took him home and made him the new baby of the house. We have been together every since. My only "human" son went away to college two years ago so since then its been just me and my "doggie" son. His name was Popi... (I also called him Woodle ... he was such a tiney "woodle" doggie) and he was the funniest, friendliest, sweetest pet that anyone could have. There was just something about our connection ...

One week ago today (3/7/13) he did something that he does not normally do ... He ran out the back door and took off running in the back yard and wondered away. I called and chased and could not find him... I was so upset that I could not find him. It was cold (30 some degrees) and he is not an outside pet AT ALL. I did not sleep a wink. On Friday morning I happened by a house and asked if they had seen him. To my relief the owner said that he had been in her yard the night before with her dogs and sent her children to see if he was still back there. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she saw him. So I went on with my day Friday - having a friend to continue to search the neighborhood for any clues ... nothing ... same thing on Saturday and by now Im worried sick because he has been away from home for two days.

While walking the area again a lady stopped me and asked if I was still looking for my dog. I said yes and she looked at me with sadness in her eyes. She said that she thought she should tell me that my dog was dead. The house where I went on Friday was where my dog died ... on Thursday night ... after being attacked and torn apart by pit bull dogs. I have not been able to function since... part of my anger is because the woman actually knew that my dog was dead when I went to her house on Friday and she would not tell me ...

I am trying to deal with feelings of guilt - maybe I should have searched more ... maybe I did not react quickly enough when he ran out the door... I am tramatized about how he died ... the pain and fear he must have had during the last minutes of his life... the fact that they obviously disposed of him like a piece of trash ... not being able to say goodbye and put him away respectfully....

Im trying so hard to cope with everything that I am feeling and still act "ok" at work. I find myself at the brink of tears several times a day ... I don't know what to do ...

Yesterday ...attempting to get closure... I buried his favorite toy and one of my shirts (he loved snuggling on my clothes) in my yard and said goodbye to him. At first I thought I was ok but now I am at tears again...

I would appreciate any advice that anyone could share with me.

Thanks,

[ModKonnie]

Woodlesmom,

I am so sorry about the loss of your precious. Your ceremony and burial sounds very touching, and it shows how much you truly loved him. It is going to take some time because it's such a sudden and tragic situation. Please know we will be here for you. The photos are adorable. His eyes look so soft.

I have no idea what you can do, or what you should say to the owners of the dogs who killed your dog, but perhaps it should be reported to authorities. I mean, wow, this sounds very dangerous for other pets and humans.

Just know we will be here for you,

ModKonnie