Loss of an Adult Child

[JD's Mom, Becky]

‎15 weeks today... I ♥ U Infinity, my son.

[Jeff's Mom]

‎15 weeks today... I ♥ U Infinity, my son.

And Beyond...says Buzz Light Year... according to my three year old grandaughter.

[vivkib]

Felling a bad day coming on. I can feel the tension in my chest and the unshed tears pushing thier way to the top ready to fall once again. Why does it have to hurt so much? Why was he taken from us? It is so hard to realize he's gone and never to return. I miss his humor, he always had some silly thing to say that kept us all rolling in tears, but now the tears are saddness not joy. He would be so proud of his younger brothers and sister in the things they have done since his death. I guess his death brought on such a positive change in all of them. They have all realized how life can be taken in such a short time out of no where. His sister is getting all A's in her nurseing classes, one of his brothers has turned back to God, and another brother has gotten involved in the VFW and Pistolero and Roses in our community. How proud of them he would be, I know I am. I miss all that was Kevin, his sence of humor, his smile, his loving words, everything, and on days like this I don't know how to go on. I know I'll get through it but it doesn't help the hurt go away. I just want to get back in bed and cry.

[Jeff's Mom]

Betsy...turning off the phone to find peace is a good way of healing. I actually had my number changed to an unlisted number. What a wonderful break it has given me from nuisance callers. Telemarketers, etc.

Dee...sending positive wishes your way today. Good luck! I'll be thinking of you. Not much interest being shown in quilt project. Had another great idea given to me by a member yesterday that it could be kept by forum people to use at various functions. Added to every year by people interested in adding a panel. I felt that for myself focusing on putting something together for Jeff would help me to feel a bit better. We'll see how it goes. Let me know about Eri Fest and what is involved. When you are up to it. Thanks.

Susan...you are doing better then you think. It shows! Just as Dee always tells me...BREATHE! Long slow breathes. And try to stay calm. You will get past this initial first stage if you take one day at a time and try to keep busy. Hang in there.

[Jeff's Mom]

Felling a bad day coming on. I can feel the tension in my chest and the unshed tears pushing thier way to the top ready to fall once again. Why does it have to hurt so much? Why was he taken from us? It is so hard to realize he's gone and never to return. I miss his humor, he always had some silly thing to say that kept us all rolling in tears, but now the tears are saddness not joy. He would be so proud of his younger brothers and sister in the things they have done since his death. I guess his death brought on such a positive change in all of them. They have all realized how life can be taken in such a short time out of no where. His sister is getting all A's in her nurseing classes, one of his brothers has turned back to God, and another brother has gotten involved in the VFW and Pistolero and Roses in our community. How proud of them he would be, I know I am. I miss all that was Kevin, his sence of humor, his smile, his loving words, everything, and on days like this I don't know how to go on. I know I'll get through it but it doesn't help the hurt go away. I just want to get back in bed and cry.

Kevin's Mom...try to hang on. I know it is so hard to try to push that pain down. It is always just there beneath the surface. Crying is healthy and a good release. Yes, Kevin would be so proud of all of you for staying strong together and helping each other. Please try to take good care of yourself. Keep posting and talking about Kevin when you feel up to it and if you feel it helps.

Kate

[shorty16]

Dee

I am "Sending All Angels" to be by your side as you go through this procedure.

I too went through a biopsy for lumps and they too turned out to be nothing but calcifications. Yours will too. Yes, you will feel some pain, but they should give you small ice packs and they work wonders.

Kate - You are amazing. To be so new to this journey and already offering your wisdom to others. At 4 months, I was still so raw - I could offer nothing to anyone. We are lucky to have you on this site.

Kevin's Mom - Yes, your Kevin is proud of your surviving children and you for recognizing your children's accomplishments. I am so glad that your kids have moved in a positive direction after Kevin's death. That is not always the case. Our Aaron was very angry and took his anger out on other people's property. The police will only be so understanding for so long before they start holding him and us accountable. So you are very lucky in that respect. We are thinking of you. My Brian was also our sense of humor. He would make me laugh even when I was yelling at him. I miss him more than words can express.

JD's Mom - 15 weeks is also so new to this journey. How is your hubby doing? Sending you warm thoughts and a big virtual hug to try and get you through one more minute of this life we have been thrust into.

Love to all my friends. Without whom I would be much less than I am today.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[JD's Mom, Becky]

I like that! Infinity and beyond.... that about sums it up! Thanks!

And Beyond...says Buzz Light Year... according to my three year old grandaughter.

[mysonrich]

Dee, hoping to hear of your clean bill of health and a co-pay that takes care of the rest.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Thanks for the hug, Colleen! I think of you often in that our angels were so close in age. Hubby is hanging in there, not as expressive as I am, except to get angry. I try not to do or say anything to add to his misery in losing his only son. It's a daily struggle, as you well know.

I, like you, have a lot of anger at the whole situation. Still waiting for the other shoe to drop as far as the ongoing investigation and reports,etc., that we aren't savy to as of yet.

JD's Mom - 15 weeks is also so new to this journey. How is your hubby doing? Sending you warm thoughts and a big virtual hug to try and get you through one more minute of this life we have been thrust into.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Susan, Boy, can I ever relate to your feelings. You just described me to a "T". There is so much around me that needs doing, but I am having a hard time, not being my usual organized self at all. I don't really care if there is outside furniture that should have been put away months ago, don't care if there is clutter about, none of that matters anymore. I do pick at it, but don't seem to get much accomplished most days, and nobody DARE try to tell me what needs doing, or you may end up hearing some words that aren't polite!

I am overwhelmed at times because the emotions are so intense. Often it is a mixture of competing thoughts and emotions that are so difficult to sort through. I mostly just want to be left alone. Although I still get some things accomplished in the course of a day, motivation is really lacking. It takes a lot of effort to stop procrastinating and get up and do something. I am also grumpy and more likely to snap at someone....like I'm tightly wound. Par for the course, I guess.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Dee, I had no idea until I read this post that your daughter survived that long. I am so sorry, that must have been so awful for you.

I am Dee, Mom of Erica Eileen whose car was struck by an Amtrak at a broken crossing in Kalamazoo, Michigan 8.5 years ago. She died 6 days later.

[shorty16]

JD's Mom

Grief zaps every ounce of energy we have. I too could not do much for quite some time after Brian was killed. Who cares? Why should I clean my house, my son is dead. What does it matter.

As time goes on, we do get some of our strength back, but we will never be where we were before our world came crashing down around us.

This is normal and it is OK. Concentrate on you and your hubby now. I do not remember if you have other children, but I have 2 others. I was helpless to comfort them. I felt my life (as I knew it) was over.

I am 3.5 years into this and I do have some of my strength back. I am able to multi-task again, but no how I used to.

Be kind to yourself. Your house will not blow away if it is not clean. That can wait.

Consider yourself hugged.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[mikesmum]

Dee ~ Hoping for calcification and nothing more. May they play soft sweet music for you as you undergo this 'test'. I get this picture of Eri leading the group with a 'shhhh, gotta be quiet' as they surround you.

Betsy ~ I believe this loss, this grief is patterned in our brain has now boundry related to time. I felt 'ok' this past week but yesterday and today I have fallen hard. Supposed to have grandies for a day. Can't pull it together enough. The 18th is tomorrow. Can't be the 18th again so soon. I wonder if its that I have been waiting for 'this' to be over and our lives to go back to where we were on the 17th 2007. Life wasn't perfect by any means, but it wasn't this.

Our summer has arrived with vengance. Its 38C here today with a north wind that blows the sinus, and drys the bushland. Tomorrow its a little cooler, 28C. Tomorrow I will take myself to the river. Mikes place. The place his 'partner' saw fit to dump his ashes in the mud. I will sit and remember those days when Mike Melissa & Steven played in the cool water. I will close my eyes and think only of that boy with the wicked smile. Betsy, will take you with me as you face your 3rd angelversary

[ericasmom]

Hi All, thanks for the words of encouragement...I have had many lumps and benign tumors and cysts removed some in the office, some with surgery. This was a new thing for me, and every woman besides you Col, said to prepare for some pain. Now knock on wood, but I am following directions with the ice packs and so far so good. I did not have pain during the procedure which I am grateful for, the doc froze one layer of skin, then waited and went deeper to freeze the next layer, and finally a third layer so that I could only feel some pulling or pressure, no pain. I do appreciate the extra mile they go where I go for all my breast work, the pain control they take the extra time to use. Anyhow, they extracted all the calcifications that were seen on the film and with good fortune, the biopsy will prove just that, calcification without issues. I won't find out until Thursday likely late in the day.

JD's Mom, I love the picture with the hand and the face in the mist...Love that. Yes, Eri was struck at around 8:45 PM Michigan time, they are an hour ahead of us, and the call came to us at 9:20 saying that Erica Reith had been in an accident. We did not know what kind, we did not know that it was the chaplain on the phone, all we knew is that she said we should come. She said that My Son was there and very upset, we told her to tell him that we were on the way. I called to Michael, Jon and ERi's dad just two blocks away, he had heard already and was leaving the house. I asked him to ride with us and he said NO, he needed to be alone. He drove the 2.5 hours alone. Eri's back end was struck by the train, which sent her into a spin and her car hit another waiting on the other side of the tracks. Her car did not stop for 300 yards. When it did, the two young men in the car she struck, ran to her and said that they saw a light shining in her car, they opened her door and saw her and knew it was really bad but the light was all around her. They came to the hospital to tell us that Eri changed their lives, that they would never take anything for granted again and that they would like us to know that the light surrounded ERica. They said that they never were religious nor believed in any one way, but the light was so obvious they said. Two 19 year old football players for Western Michigan were so affected by Eri's life and inevitable death that they were the first ones to get the tattoo of EER (erica eileen reith) with a Chinese symbol for Beauty, they came back to the hospital each day to see us and to meet her and talk to her. They were the same age as Erz and went with me to her room in the ICU and spoke to her and prayed and thanked her for showing them the absolute change on a dime way that life sometimes is, and told her that they wanted to know all they could about her and her friends. Matt and Joel got to know all of ERi's friends from here in Chicagoland as they all came and sat and waited with candle light vigils, with day in and day out visits to her room three at a time, and they came to know her stories and her sense of humor well. By the time those six days ended, over 80 folks had taken a cue form the boys and got the same kind of tattoo, EER, and a chinese symbol for laughter, or beauty or joy or friend. She was never awake during those six days, her brainstem was all but severed, and so on the sixth day, we had the machines stopped and we, Michael, Jonathan and I stayed with her and told her all the things we hoped she knew, hoped she would take with her, hoped would sustain her for her trip to the heavens. We sobbed, we prayed, we begged her to know that anyone of us would gladly change places, but we could not change the trajectory of the event that had happened 6 days prior. Eri died within an hour of the machines stopping. There were about 80 or so people waiting for us when we emerged from her room, all of them joined by the Girl of my Dreams in life and in death. She was the great connector.

And while those six days were difficult of course, they were six more days of Erica, and they provided us the time to come to terms with her leaving as a group, it gave us all time to sit each day and night and tell Eri stories, it gave the girls especially, her core group of 12 girls, the ability to lean on one another in ways that had she died right when the accident happened, they may not have been able to do. There was a lot of magic in Eri's leaving, I don't mean that in a garrish way, but in the way that means that I am aware of the goodness we reaped by having that time.

Matt and Joel drove to Oak Park Illinois for her wake and funeral. They stayed with friends of Eri's . A few months later, when college started up again and the football team was going strong, Matt and Joel's coach sent us a package. In it was the team flag with all the names of the players and coaches on it and included was Erica Reith, a team member they said because of her influence on the team captain and one of the top players, Matt and Joel. They brought the lesson to the team that life was short, they saw how short, how one minute either way could have been a different story but they were part of ERi's story and so they made everyone realize that each day was a gift. And it is, and I try to live it well. I know that she wants that for all of us.

[ericasmom]

Funny, but I never posted any news articles from ERi's death, here is one.

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2003-07-18/news/0307180239_1_kalamazoo-gazette-intersection-stepfather

[daveydow1]

Dee---Thanks for the article of ERi. Also, wishing you a speedy recovery, and a good report. Prayers, friend.

Betsy, and Diane-----Thinking of you and sending prayers as your angel days approach.

Rhonda----Sorry that I missed West's angel day. (I've been having trouble with my computer, so haven't

been on BI lately). Peace & comfort to you.

I have missed greeting many new parents who have come on BI........I'm sorry.

Ronnie, Deana, Rhettsmom, JDsmom, Kevinsmom, Rachael.-----(I'm so sorry if I've missed anyone). I am sorry

for your loss, and for your sorrow in losing your beloved child. I am glad that you have found BI (formerly called Beyond Indigo),

but sorry for the reason to be on a site like this......one that no one ever wants to be a part of. I have

been on BI for over 8 years......and have found it to be a lifeline. Sending thoughts & prayers for each and every one.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[Jeff's Mom]

Funny, but I never posted any news articles from ERi's death, here is one.

http://articles.chic...tion-stepfather

Dee...so very glad that the procedure went well and is now behind you, Just read the article on Eri. No wonder she was so thoughtful...she had a good teacher!

Sounds HOT in Australia. Oh please, send it this way. Temps dropping to -28C tonight! Brrrrrrrr! Are you anywhere near the forest fires we have been seeing on the news? Thinking of you tomorrow.

Colleen...I had to stop when you mentioned new to the grief phase. I thought to myself...two years...seams like twenty...yet like only yesterday. Time has stopped for me since he died. My life has done a complete 360. I don't even know who I am any longer.

[lolynbo]

HEY GUYS IM HERE IN AND OUT. DOING GOOD MY BACK HURTS MORE THEN ANYTHING AND NEED TO POOP BUT IM SURE I WILL I'VE TAKEN SOFTNERS TO HELP JUST HAVE TO WAIT. MONTY IS THE BEST LIL DOC.

SORRY THERE IS NEW PPL ON HERE. IM JUST GLAD YOU FOUND THIS PAGE AND PLZ CHK IN OFTEN. SO MANY PPL CARE ON HERE. WE HAVE THE BEST ANGEL PARENTS

BLESS AND BE BLESSED

[lolynbo]

DEE PRAYERS FOR THE BEST FOR YOU

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Thanks, Dee. Green was Jared's favorite color, thus the green sky... Tears as I read your account of Eri's death.

I have often wondered what it would have been like if Jared had survived the crash, even if for a few short hours. The responders have assured me that God knew what He was doing, when he allowed him to die quickly. I still don't believe it was any part of a grand plan, but preventable; but I do realize and believe that God knew Jared would not ever be the same, and that Jared nor his family would want that for him.

We had, even though it was after the fact, so many people come to our home to offer comfort. My husband and I are involved as administrators in youth sports, so many that came were associated with years of us coaching and mentoring them along with our own son. My hope in preparing for Jared's funeral, was to be able to express to all these young people that life is so short, and we have no promise of tomorrow. I especially wanted them to understand that Mom's do nag them, as I did Jared, because they love them so much.

We missed the football games for our teams on the weekend following Jared's death, but Jerry's team came and brought us the gameball from their win, and played football out here on our front lawn on Sunday following the games. All three teams had stickers on their helmets at that weekend's game that bore "JW" for Jared West.

We have often wondered about all the time we have spent over the years volunteering, but that day, it all felt meaningful and worthwhile.

We just signed on for another year, because as usual, nobody stepped up... I want to find a way to honor Jared through this, as he spent 5 years playing in this league. Maybe some sort of annual award to a player? Jared had moved beyond this level of play to the high school level, but we had stayed on, as we felt we were needed, and all our practices were at the high school were Jared had attended.

Dee, that is amazing about the light around Eri. More tears..... The biggest part of my anger comes from nobody holding my child or comforting him in his last moments. There is no level of punishment bad enough that would have kept me from offering that to another human being. I am not angry at God, but I am angry.

Becky

[daveydow1]

Lorrie-----Hope you are feeling somewhat better. Prayers.

Hi Betty------Good to see Stephen's great smile.

Becky-----I so know what you mean about the anger. I still get waves of

anger even now.......not as often, but it still comes now & then. I have also

felt that my son, Dave, could not have ever been the same after his horrific

wreck. (His car was crushed by a 60,000 lb. semi with the driver fast asleep

at the wheel.....he couldn't even stay awake for his local shift......no punishment

to speak of). He got off light, we got the sentence of sorrow. I'm sorry for your loss of

your dear son, Jared. Peace for you & your family.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[Deana]

Dee - Hope this finds you recovering with ease. Thank you so much for sharing the story of your daughter. The mention of light brings me hope in times like these. She sounds like she is such a wonderful person, and I am sure makes the perfect Angel.

[shellyku]

Good Evening Indigos - Just read a little bit but wanted to add my prayers for a great result, Dee.

Hope all other Indigos have a pleasant evening.

[mikesmum]

"Wanting to help others was a way of life for her, especially when it came to those that society tends to ignore."

[Dee ~ Glad you made it through okay. The ice packs will help. I read your account of Eri's last days, always hard to read. I love what John said. Mike had a heart that encouraged those that society tends to 'overlook' for whatever reason. His dedication to those children with special needs who were without 'family' was amazing.

Kate ~ Yep we certainly do get hot! I'm in the state of Victoria. So far this year no bushfires. In 2009 we experienced Black Saturday. The state lost 170+ people. Towns around us were completely decimated. Around 5pm that day the wind changed direction and we were saved. Up till then our town was ringed by fires. At the moment the town is surrounded by lush green forests, hoping they remain that way.

[summergirl]

"Nobody holding my child or comforting him in his last moments" - Becky, hugs to you. Those words went through my mind also when we were told that Jessica passed while in the restroom of the restaurant where she was with friends....I could hardly breathe each time I thought of her in there alone, wondering if she knew, did she call out for me, for Tavian...it was at times more than I could bare....When we received the autopsy report (which was awful to even try to read) I called the coronor and asked her, she said "your daughter went instantly, she felt nothing"......I was so relieved that she did not suffer but it did not change the pain. I have also thought of how it would be to "have" to let your child go as Dee, Lorri did along with many others and I do not know !! On one hand I would have loved to have been there when my daughter went out of this world and on the other I do not know that I could have let her go......I have said enough, just wanted you to know that my heart is with you...

Dee - so glad all is ok with you...Hugs

Trudi - happy for you and Sir Muttley that the warm weather has found its way to you and I hope the sunshine warms your face and heart as thoughts of your Micheal drift through your mind.....remembering.....

Kate - I "ditto" what all here are saying, for one not long on this journey your strength and wisdom are amazing....

It has been cold here and you all know how much I hate the cold weather....but am tolerating it as best I can. Tavian and I were off today due to Martin Luther King so we spent some quiet time together and then off to Game Stop for a new game as Pop-Pop decided to buy him the new Nintendo DS3 and of course one game is not enough...but I made him turn in games that he no longer plays so he would have the money to buy a new game...he got 42 dollars and was a happy buy....never to early to teach him that he cannot always have what he wants out of "mi-mi's money"

Many thoughts of my Jessica going through my mind - the pain of losing her stronger as February draws ever closer.....it will never get easier, this pain.... I miss you my girl....

[mysonrich]

Becky, Rich got his start in football when a neighbor boy and his father asked him to join a inter-mural team. The neighbor boy attended a private school in another township. The picture I have in the gallery was taken during that time. Notice the L on his pants and helmet. Our town name began with an E. Rich went on to play HS football. I will always be grateful to Freddie’s father and people like yourself.

Trudi, I'll be right there with you. Kate, just pull up a rock along the river. there is plenty of room.

Dee, I remember your shared with us the events following Erica’s accident, the car being full of light. Someone else,Betty perhaps,also shared a feeling she had when Stephen died. It does give me hope and some solace to know, a warm ,loved greeting into another sphere occurred.

Kathy, though Rich wasn't alone I have often wondered if he knew that something was wrong and if he was afraid. he was sick during the week before his death.Sleeping more. Stomach problems. Was this a warning? Did his last concert cause so much excitement that his heart went haywire later? I'll know someday and at that time, as my mom told me once, it will no longer matter.I try not to torment myself.

Sherry, its good to see Davey's smile tonight. Davey's name came up in a conversation I had just yesterday. The dangers of drowsy driving. Sleep driving. Not driving at all really. I stressed my point and hope this person understood.

Kate, I know you mentioned the area in which you reside .I don't remember,sorry. Where are you located? Close to where the Olympics were held? A stones throw? Jeff was a man with a very generous heart. Compassion,empathy. Makes me question why the people that are so needed here are taken away so soon,so early.

Lori, hope you poop soon and continue on to a speedy recovery.

I have been thinking about Leah and Karin a lot. Also Maryann.

I read a scientific theory tonight. Not involved. In a nutshell the author stated that after death time reboots. There is no man made concept of time. One can go forward or back. No “matter” to get in the way. To me that translate into the reason we feel our children close to us at times and at other times,we don't. They are off doing other things and stop by in “our” time once in a while. Maybe.

I have to feed the chickens soon so I better sign off. Lets hope for a restful night.Sorry about the font size, I can't seem to change it.

[lolynbo]

THERE IS NO WAY OUR KIDS DIED ALONE. I WAS THERE WHEN KOURTNEY DIED. AND I KNOW IN MY HEART WITH OUT A DOUGHT. THEY ALL HAD THE SAME GODLY GLOW

[ericasmom]

Betsy, nothing wrong on this end with your font size, it is nice a readable, my eyes don't grab print unless well lit or bright or large...old eyes now. I so agree with you about the sports programs that our Kids benefited from. My kids too, both in floor hockey, flag football, and little league. Nothing better for my kids than some of the teams that they worked with. So I second that Becky, thanks for the work you do.

Kathy, I know, we all wonder what it would be if we had to do this differently...no way of knowing though and I will say, with the unplugging of machines, Michael, Eri's Dad felt that we might be playing God, but I didn't, as ERz would hate being hooked to things that gave her half life. Plus, ERi was dying, would die within a few more days as her electrolytes were going crazy, her potassium was way out of whack as her body was getting rid of it quickly, everything was going haywire because her brain could not reguate anymore. Besides her nearly severed brain stem, she had brain bleeds scattered throughout her brain and a broken neck, collarbone, jaw. Amazingly, she looked so pretty, not like one would think after her car was struck by a train...I do believe that alone was one piece of magic for her friends, to not have to conjure the image one would in hearing someone dies that way...instead, they all came to see her and all were surprised that Erica looked like Erica, just a sleeping Girl with some bruises.

Trudi, Betsy, I will be with you at the river on the 18th, sitting beside you both with full heart and a box of tissue. I know that your Sons will also be sitting beside you, loving you as they always have. I have read some about time movement for those who cross over, and I see that as viable. I like the thought of it for them, for us.

Lorri, you get better now, heal and rest and heal some more adn soon you will be all over the place again, looking so pretty.

Sherry, good to see you tonight. I am doing okay going to bed with my tired self. Reading a new book, Colleen an author from Milwaukee, Lesley Kagan, wrote this book called Good Graces. I am loving it, and anyone in their 50's might as she is perfectly right on from that time period and is writing from a child's voice which is often my favorite voice. It is funny as heck and poignant and wise. This is the second author that I LOVE from Wisconsin who writes from a childs point of view, the other being Sandra Kring. Anyhow, I think that if you look into this book you will laugh out loud as I have, and feel that sense of wonderful trip down memory lane as I have as well. The nostalgia in a good way, a funny way. So I am off to bed to read a few pages, I know that is all my eyeballs will allow, and I am wishing you all a good night, sleep well.

Remember, our Angels love us and are rooting for us each day, even on your darkest days, especially on your darkest days. It is with their light that we find our way, one day.

[RonnieAlt]

Dee...so very glad that the procedure went well and is now behind you, Just read the article on Eri. No wonder she was so thoughtful...she had a good teacher!

Sounds HOT in Australia. Oh please, send it this way. Temps dropping to -28C tonight! Brrrrrrrr! Are you anywhere near the forest fires we have been seeing on the news? Thinking of you tomorrow.

Colleen...I had to stop when you mentioned new to the grief phase. I thought to myself...two years...seams like twenty...yet like only yesterday. Time has stopped for me since he died. My life has done a complete 360. I don't even know who I am any longer.

Wow, your daughter was so precious and loved by her friends, and friends to those less fortunate and made a real difference in people's lives outside her immediate family. That is such an incredible legacy she left at such a young age, God knows the countless people she so humbly and naturally helped throughout her short life. What an incredible accomplishment, how proud of her you must be Dee!! What a wonderful daughter you raised. I would have been so proud of her. She is a remarkable person, you evidently instilled wonderful virtues into her heart.

God bless you,

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Sleep well, my angel. I love you infinity and beyond.....

I think I am finally tired enough to try to sleep. Wednesday, the 18th, is my birthday. I am very saddened that Rich and Michael lost their lives on the day that mine began... and also so sad that I have to have a birthday without my baby boy.

I thank all of you for being here and sharing your hearts and souls, as it is so comforting to know there are those that understand. I wish we none had to be here.

[mikesmomrs]

Hello my indigo family...just reading some and haven't posted in a couple of days. Much going on with us getting used to this new routine. Mike has never liked being "on the go" and we are on the go now, every day, with Tuesdays and Fridays being the longest, as that is when they do the chemo and the doctor's visits and labs. Good news on the labs this past Friday...all levels are improved, though some are still too low. They may consider another blood transfusion this week, but we will see tomorrow. He had the port in on Wednesday of last week, and it went very well, especially when Friday came and all they had to do was pop a needle into that port for the blood test and then to do the chemo. He was really tired at the end of the week, and on Saturday I think he was awake a total of 2-3 hours. Sunday found him a little more active, and now, we begin anew with this week. One down and four and a half to go.

Dee: I was so very glad to hear that your procedure went well, and prayers for a good report on Thursday. I know how torturous the waiting can be, but we all surround you with love and prayers as you wait. Thank you again for sharing the story of Eri's leaving this earth. It does stay with us, no matter how long "since," and comfort is always felt when we are able to share those thoughts and moments, and of course, sharing here is the best place to be. We are all here, holding your hand as we read. I am so glad that all got to see that "Erica is still Erica." A gift, for sure, for you and all who loved her so. I know there are "others" (those who have not lost a child) who would say that I am crazy to see anything about a child's death as a "gift," but I think all here understand my meaning...we do have to look for those "gifts" in order to breathe again.

Shelly: Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry that your Sarah had to go through all she went through and that you had to be there, feeling so helpless all the while. Yes, we learned a lot with young Mike and it has carried us through much of this new journey fo rhis dad.

JD's mom: May your sweet boy surround you with his spirit and the whisper of his love fall on your ears on this, your birthday.

Sherry: So good to see Davey's smile...are you doing okay?

Trudi: I remember your telling us about those bushfires and how so many people had been lost, and so much property damage done. I am glad that this summer is free of those problems thus far and pray it continues to stay that way. We will all be there with you and Betsy, at the river, (those pictures...how awesome and so very similar!) remembering, just "being," and we will hold you close as you pass these hours,

Diane: I am so sorry that you are having such a time right now. My heart to you as these days of sorrow and remembrances of your beautiful Nathan fill your heart.

Betsy: I am so glad that your neighbor came forward and invited Rich to play football. Yes, people like your neighbor and Becky and her husband are true gifts to communities. Mike always played in community sports, and some school sports, as well as Scouts for over 10 years, and we were alway so grateful to the people who spent the time to bring these activities about and keep them going even after their own children had moved past those activities.

Kate: Yes, I agree, you impart wisdom and caring to us every time you post. We have been gifted with your presence here.

Kathy: You wrote : "I have also thought of how it would be to "have" to let your child go as Dee, Lorri did along with many others and I do not know !!" I have sometimes thought to myself how would I have felt if we had not had time to say goodbye to Mike...would it have been less painful to have that "knock on the door," that "phone call," than to have to be with him and know that he was going to leave and not be able to do anything about it? Each time these thoughts chase my heart, I come to the same conclusion that you seem to have come to...I do not know! It is something we can't imagine, someplace we can't "put ourselves into" anymore than we can change anything that happened. I am very glad that I had the chance to say goodbye to Mike, but at the same time, my memories of the "knowing" and not being able to DO anything to change it, the helpless feelings that assailed me so many times, plague me at times and I have to fight to rid myself of them, which is not always possible. I don't think there is anyone who has ever been a parent who has not at one point or another worried about that "phone call" or that "knock on the door." For all of us here, that came to us, in one form or another, but fortunately for us, our angels have led us here to be a comfort to one another, to help each other walk this road, and to find the understanding that we need in order to live through this grief and loss. Some of our children left this earth under similar circumstances, and what those circumstances were don't really matter in the end...our children are gone, and that is what our life is now. One huge part of us is missing and will always be missing, until we meet again one day, on the other side of this veil that exists between us and our children now. My heart goes out to you as you struggle with the coming of February, that sense of breathlessness that grabs us as these days come around again. I think that when these days come again, each year, the number of years don't matter...we are right back there, feeling those feelings again, wanting not to breathe and yet finding breath filling our lungs and emptying out again, unbidden by us, wanting our heart to stop beating and yet knowing we have no power to make it so, as we wonder "Why?" "Why?" Holding you in my prayers.

This Friday, young Mike's friend, Denis came over to visit and have supper with us. He arrived just as I was going to pick up some pizza , and I asked him to sprinkle some ice melt on the walkway and driveway before he went into the house, as it was icing up after the snow we had earlier in the day. When I went to the pizza place, it was pretty crowded and while standing there waiting for my order, I could feel myself crumbling inside, as I watched the crowd. Thoughts that hadn't been in my head for a while crashed into my brain now, as I stood there and watched all of the young people with their friends, young couples with their kids, coming in, laughing, enjoying themselves at the end of a work week, finding time for fun and gathering. I could feel the tears coming on just as they called my name, and I grabbed the pizza and bolted for my car, just as they spilled over. All the way home, the tears fell, thoughts hammering my brain and sending that familiar pain through my heart, that pain of seeing the living examples of what Mike has missed out on. His little family has had to grow without him, they've had to try to do those things that families do, without a dad; without a husband. Things he loved to do, and can do no more; good things like going for pizza, taking the kids tubing, playing scrabble with them, just "being" with them, etc., he can't do now. Never will do. I tried to tell myself yet again that these "things" don't matter to him now; he does not feel any pain any more, he does not feel loss. But of course, my heart is reminding me again that his kids can feel that loss, that his wife can feel it, that we all can feel these feelings of loss. And we do. As I reached the house, I tried to pull myself together, and pull out that "mask" to be able to go into the house and not spoil the moment as we gathered to "have fun together." As I got out of the car, pizza in hand, I came around the front of the truck. The ice melt had been sprinkled all around, as I had requested, and most of it had already melted. Except for one spot, right by the front of the truck, about 12 inches across, in the perfect shape of a heart. The mask fell away and the tears came again, but softer this time; the kind you feel when someone gives you a special gift. When I went into the house, they of course asked what was wrong. I told them what had happened at the pizza place and on the way home. Denis got up and hugged me. Then I asked them to come out to the driveway and see what greeted me as I got out of the truck. The heart is still there. No ice, no other ice melt, no snow anywhere around the walkway or driveway now, three days later. But the heart...still there.

[mikesmomrs]

Trudi: May your beautiful Micheal be with you today, surrounding you with his sweet spirit, filling your heart with memories of his life as you sit in his favorite place and remember. I am there, holding your hand, as well.

MICHEAL...MICHEAL...MICHEAL...we all remember...your awesome mum has assured that your life is a story that is told and remembered and held close even by those who never knew you as you walked this earth. Sweet, strong spirit, help her through this day that changed so much in her life.

[mikesmomrs]

Betsy: Holding you close on this day, as your heart is filled with memories of a life that blessed your own. Your precious Rich is all around you, surrounding you with his spirit of love. Please know that you are in our hearts and prayers on this day, as always, but more so on this day when the sense of loss seems magnified. It is magnified...Rich was huge in your life, the "music in your heart," as you were in his.

RICH...

RICH...

RICH...

You also are remembered, the story of your life being told by your mom, as she remembers the gift that is you and shares those memories with each of us. Fill this day with peace-filled moments for your mom, stay by her, let your spirit be her breath for the day.

[mikesmum]

Carol ~ Thank you dear friend. The heart in the ice...undeniable. Tonight as I 'await' the dawn I have an sms from Lauren. The love of Mike's life wanting to know if I'd like someone to share a bottle of champagne tomorrow. We will be having pizza, sharing stories of life and memories of a bygone time. I take that as a gift from Mike. Though they weren't together when he died, Lauren is someone who loves him the way I always wanted my son to be loved.

The lovely Lauren...

Twin boys Mike cared for. Both ADHD with learning difficulties, social problems with no dad in their lives.

[mysonrich]

Micheal Micheal Micheal , a little behind the scenes work as I'm sure you had a hand in helping to plan your mom's day today with Lauren. May they both drink a little bubbly,share a smile and some tears as we all make a toast to the life and love of you.

[Guest msnher]

Micheal.........strong, wise, loving, joyfull...."Don't feed into the anger" a moment that changed my path forever. Please send a tangible sign to your mum on this day that represents the worst day of her existence. Hugs to you, Trudi.

[hotrod]

RICH, RICH RICH RICH

YOUR SWEET FACE, WONDERFUL SMILE, HAPPY SPIRIT AND THOUGHTFUL WAYS ARE REMEMBERED LOVINGLY BY YOUR

MOM AND SISTER.

CONTINUE TO STAY CLOSE TO THEM AND TOUCH THEM WITH YOUR LOVE

BETSY IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS

[michael watkins]

My son died on 12/31/2011, he was visiting his father for the holidays and died from pneumonia in his sleep. This is my first post and I'm so broken I don't know what to do. I was doing ok until this weekend now I feel as my whole world has exploded in my face.

Im supposed to go back to work tomorrow and I'm having horrible aniexty attacks just thinking about it.

My baby is dead- gone forever- I'll never be able to hug, talk or kiss him again. I know he is in heaven - but I

Miss him so much.

[hotrod]

MICHAEL, MICHAEL, MICHAEL

YOU ARE LOVED AND CHERISHED EACH AND EVERY DAY

TOUCH MOM TODAY WITH THE WARMTH OF YOUR LOVING SPIRIT

TRUDI BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF TODAY AND KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE

[michael watkins]

I have been reading the forums for a few days I now have the courage to share my loss of my son Mikey thats what I call no matter how old he was he was my Mikey he use to say mom Mikey sound like im still a baby but I couldnt get use to calling him Michael. I lost my baby December 14 2011 and his Bday is December 31 this was the worst December and holiday season of my life. As im told often one day at a time and i have ok days compared to my worst days im still waiting to wake up from this dream my 19 year old son was my friend we were close we had a good relationship and I miss him sooooo much i struggle all day every day my heart will be forever broke in pieces and to see im not along is comforting and even more heartbreaking reading all the post. - Tonia *Mikey Mom*

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

[b]Hello Tonia, Mikey'sMom I am glad that you have posted to the adult child stream of this Board I know you will find the support and understanding and compassion here, that will enable you to move forward a little more each day. As I mentioned to you I lost my son over 4 years ago and this wonderful group saved my sanity and life. Please keep posting

My Indigos Family

I have not been posting lately but just wanted to let you know I think of each of you and your angel every day. I feel such connection and comfort from all your warmth and strength.

Dee so glad your procedure is over and you are recovering, Sherry Hope you are staying warm and that the creatures are safe in the cold.

Carol praying for you and Ralph

Rhonda, Susannah, Leah, Diane, Lorri, and all Indigos be well

[shorty16]

Becky - I am right there with you. Brian died on the side of the road, in the grass and dirt. If I let myself go there, I would be crazier than I am now. Even though there were people around him when he died (Michelle, his sister), that does not make his place of death any easier to take.

I have tried to not let myself think about that. It is over and I must move on. Having said that, I am 3.5 years into this and my brain does allow me to push some thoughts out. In the beginning, grief had its way with me. I could think of nothing else but a movie of Brian dying on the side of the road. Little did I know that Brian was dead before we even arrived at the scene.

I invite all those who have pre-teen or teenage boys to share my story with those boys. Tell them that riding on the outside of a moving car is a death sentence. Not only for the person on the hood, but the driver is now a convicted felon for homicide of one of his best friends. If I can stop one family from enduring this pain, it is worth it.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[Jeff's Mom]

Hello my indigo family...just reading some and haven't posted in a couple of days. Much going on with us getting used to this new routine. Mike has never liked being "on the go" and we are on the go now, every day, with Tuesdays and Fridays being the longest, as that is when they do the chemo and the doctor's visits and labs. Good news on the labs this past Friday...all levels are improved, though some are still too low. They may consider another blood transfusion this week, but we will see tomorrow. He had the port in on Wednesday of last week, and it went very well, especially when Friday came and all they had to do was pop a needle into that port for the blood test and then to do the chemo. He was really tired at the end of the week, and on Saturday I think he was awake a total of 2-3 hours. Sunday found him a little more active, and now, we begin anew with this week. One down and four and a half to go.

Dee: I was so very glad to hear that your procedure went well, and prayers for a good report on Thursday. I know how torturous the waiting can be, but we all surround you with love and prayers as you wait. Thank you again for sharing the story of Eri's leaving this earth. It does stay with us, no matter how long "since," and comfort is always felt when we are able to share those thoughts and moments, and of course, sharing here is the best place to be. We are all here, holding your hand as we read. I am so glad that all got to see that "Erica is still Erica." A gift, for sure, for you and all who loved her so. I know there are "others" (those who have not lost a child) who would say that I am crazy to see anything about a child's death as a "gift," but I think all here understand my meaning...we do have to look for those "gifts" in order to breathe again.

Shelly: Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry that your Sarah had to go through all she went through and that you had to be there, feeling so helpless all the while. Yes, we learned a lot with young Mike and it has carried us through much of this new journey fo rhis dad.

JD's mom: May your sweet boy surround you with his spirit and the whisper of his love fall on your ears on this, your birthday.

Sherry: So good to see Davey's smile...are you doing okay?

Trudi: I remember your telling us about those bushfires and how so many people had been lost, and so much property damage done. I am glad that this summer is free of those problems thus far and pray it continues to stay that way. We will all be there with you and Betsy, at the river, (those pictures...how awesome and so very similar!) remembering, just "being," and we will hold you close as you pass these hours,

Diane: I am so sorry that you are having such a time right now. My heart to you as these days of sorrow and remembrances of your beautiful Nathan fill your heart.

Betsy: I am so glad that your neighbor came forward and invited Rich to play football. Yes, people like your neighbor and Becky and her husband are true gifts to communities. Mike always played in community sports, and some school sports, as well as Scouts for over 10 years, and we were alway so grateful to the people who spent the time to bring these activities about and keep them going even after their own children had moved past those activities.

Kate: Yes, I agree, you impart wisdom and caring to us every time you post. We have been gifted with your presence here.

Kathy: You wrote : "I have also thought of how it would be to "have" to let your child go as Dee, Lorri did along with many others and I do not know !!" I have sometimes thought to myself how would I have felt if we had not had time to say goodbye to Mike...would it have been less painful to have that "knock on the door," that "phone call," than to have to be with him and know that he was going to leave and not be able to do anything about it? Each time these thoughts chase my heart, I come to the same conclusion that you seem to have come to...I do not know! It is something we can't imagine, someplace we can't "put ourselves into" anymore than we can change anything that happened. I am very glad that I had the chance to say goodbye to Mike, but at the same time, my memories of the "knowing" and not being able to DO anything to change it, the helpless feelings that assailed me so many times, plague me at times and I have to fight to rid myself of them, which is not always possible. I don't think there is anyone who has ever been a parent who has not at one point or another worried about that "phone call" or that "knock on the door." For all of us here, that came to us, in one form or another, but fortunately for us, our angels have led us here to be a comfort to one another, to help each other walk this road, and to find the understanding that we need in order to live through this grief and loss. Some of our children left this earth under similar circumstances, and what those circumstances were don't really matter in the end...our children are gone, and that is what our life is now. One huge part of us is missing and will always be missing, until we meet again one day, on the other side of this veil that exists between us and our children now. My heart goes out to you as you struggle with the coming of February, that sense of breathlessness that grabs us as these days come around again. I think that when these days come again, each year, the number of years don't matter...we are right back there, feeling those feelings again, wanting not to breathe and yet finding breath filling our lungs and emptying out again, unbidden by us, wanting our heart to stop beating and yet knowing we have no power to make it so, as we wonder "Why?" "Why?" Holding you in my prayers.

This Friday, young Mike's friend, Denis came over to visit and have supper with us. He arrived just as I was going to pick up some pizza , and I asked him to sprinkle some ice melt on the walkway and driveway before he went into the house, as it was icing up after the snow we had earlier in the day. When I went to the pizza place, it was pretty crowded and while standing there waiting for my order, I could feel myself crumbling inside, as I watched the crowd. Thoughts that hadn't been in my head for a while crashed into my brain now, as I stood there and watched all of the young people with their friends, young couples with their kids, coming in, laughing, enjoying themselves at the end of a work week, finding time for fun and gathering. I could feel the tears coming on just as they called my name, and I grabbed the pizza and bolted for my car, just as they spilled over. All the way home, the tears fell, thoughts hammering my brain and sending that familiar pain through my heart, that pain of seeing the living examples of what Mike has missed out on. His little family has had to grow without him, they've had to try to do those things that families do, without a dad; without a husband. Things he loved to do, and can do no more; good things like going for pizza, taking the kids tubing, playing scrabble with them, just "being" with them, etc., he can't do now. Never will do. I tried to tell myself yet again that these "things" don't matter to him now; he does not feel any pain any more, he does not feel loss. But of course, my heart is reminding me again that his kids can feel that loss, that his wife can feel it, that we all can feel these feelings of loss. And we do. As I reached the house, I tried to pull myself together, and pull out that "mask" to be able to go into the house and not spoil the moment as we gathered to "have fun together." As I got out of the car, pizza in hand, I came around the front of the truck. The ice melt had been sprinkled all around, as I had requested, and most of it had already melted. Except for one spot, right by the front of the truck, about 12 inches across, in the perfect shape of a heart. The mask fell away and the tears came again, but softer this time; the kind you feel when someone gives you a special gift. When I went into the house, they of course asked what was wrong. I told them what had happened at the pizza place and on the way home. Denis got up and hugged me. Then I asked them to come out to the driveway and see what greeted me as I got out of the truck. The heart is still there. No ice, no other ice melt, no snow anywhere around the walkway or driveway now, three days later. But the heart...still there.

Carol, that was a beautifully written post. What a wonderful picture of the heart. Your boy is definitely surrounding you with his love at this time. My heart goes out to all remembering their special ones tomorrow as they celebrate their angel dates. Wishing you a day surrounded by light and beauty and peace within.

[ericasmom]

I wish I had more time right now to offer my hope and my love, that said, welcome Beloved Son Mom, you have found the right place, your Boy helped direct you here no doubt, finding his way among our Angels and now you are to find your way with us. We have you in our hearts the minute we meet you, it is the way it was and is for each of us as we joined. I joined 8 years ago, Erica was also 19 when she was killed by a train hitting her car. We shall chat more later, my hands are covered in paint as the third grade started painting the salt dough maps we made on Friday. (i teach 3rd grade).

Peace one day, really!

[Jeff's Mom]

Becky, Rich got his start in football when a neighbor boy and his father asked him to join a inter-mural team. The neighbor boy attended a private school in another township. The picture I have in the gallery was taken during that time. Notice the L on his pants and helmet. Our town name began with an E. Rich went on to play HS football. I will always be grateful to Freddie’s father and people like yourself.

Trudi, I'll be right there with you. Kate, just pull up a rock along the river. there is plenty of room.

Dee, I remember your shared with us the events following Erica’s accident, the car being full of light. Someone else,Betty perhaps,also shared a feeling she had when Stephen died. It does give me hope and some solace to know, a warm ,loved greeting into another sphere occurred.

Kathy, though Rich wasn't alone I have often wondered if he knew that something was wrong and if he was afraid. he was sick during the week before his death.Sleeping more. Stomach problems. Was this a warning? Did his last concert cause so much excitement that his heart went haywire later? I'll know someday and at that time, as my mom told me once, it will no longer matter.I try not to torment myself.

Sherry, its good to see Davey's smile tonight. Davey's name came up in a conversation I had just yesterday. The dangers of drowsy driving. Sleep driving. Not driving at all really. I stressed my point and hope this person understood.

Kate, I know you mentioned the area in which you reside .I don't remember,sorry. Where are you located? Close to where the Olympics were held? A stones throw? Jeff was a man with a very generous heart. Compassion,empathy. Makes me question why the people that are so needed here are taken away so soon,so early.

Lori, hope you poop soon and continue on to a speedy recovery.

I have been thinking about Leah and Karin a lot. Also Maryann.

I read a scientific theory tonight. Not involved. In a nutshell the author stated that after death time reboots. There is no man made concept of time. One can go forward or back. No “matter” to get in the way. To me that translate into the reason we feel our children close to us at times and at other times,we don't. They are off doing other things and stop by in “our” time once in a while. Maybe.

I have to feed the chickens soon so I better sign off. Lets hope for a restful night.Sorry about the font size, I can't seem to change it.

I would definitely love to sit on a rock and enjoy a special rememberance tomorrow. I'll arrive early and chill the wine in the lake. Spread out some blankets and enjoy the view.

Betsy...I live approximately five hundred miles north of Minneapolis. We are situated on a lake called Lake Winnipeg. We are smack dab in the middle of Canada and one of the prairie provinces. We had lived in Winnipeg for most of our lives and decided to move up to our cottage permanently. We craved the peace and quiet of country living. Today is frigid and cold. A huge change from the past few months. The entire country is ungulfed by a frigid arctic air front. Today when I leave thehouse I will dress for the weather. Forget fashion statements. In a frozen world such as this... we are talking snow pants, parka, parka liner, fur lined mitts, etc. None of the barehanded going without of other areas. I'm talking so cold the air has a certain smell, pure and sweet from wood smoke. It is so cold the air rises straight up into the air. When you walk in the snow it is so dry and brittle under foot that it sounds like a crunching noise. And yet last week it was so soft it was ideal for snow angels and snowball fights, etc. I noticed more then one snowman that the kids had built.

On the weekend the military were here practicing manoeuvers for winter warfare. They actually stormed the beach! Complete in whiteout fatigues on the snowmobiles, etc. Never a dull moment in these parts. They filmed a few movies up here. All winter related. Harrison Ford in a submarine movie, Kate Beckindale in another winter thingie. Which is actually too bad, as it is so beautiful in the summer.

This is where we have spread Jeff's ashes. On a cliff overlooking the lake in a wooded area. It is very rugged and yet beautiful in an untouched way. That is something that has given us tremendous comfort in knowing that his final resting place is facing an ever changing horizon. The lake and skies change on a daily basis. He is never alone as he is surrounded by deer, foxes, birds, etc. In the summer...there are many hikers that stop to sit and reflect as they sit on his bench.

You were thinking of Vancouver,B.C. for the winter Olympics...or perhaps Calgary a few years before that. That is where our other son lives. He is about thirty minutes from Banff. A beautiful place to drive on a weekend retreat.

Well, off to dress like Ralphie from that Christmas movie. Wish me luck. I sure hate this cold.

Carol...hope today goes well for Ralph.

Dee...sure hope you had a good sleep last night and are feeling slightly more comfortable today.

[ericasmom]

RICH

RICH

RICH

please bless your Mom and Sister and friends with your love and your hope today and each. Let them know that you are near. I love you Rich, feel that I know you, your smile, your sense of humor and your deep well of caring.

[ericasmom]

MIKE----MIKE-----MIKE Dear,

your beautiful smile so much like the movie stars of the great 1940's style, dashing, debonair, and devilish. You are the epitome of your MUM's love and heart, the absolute treasure of so many. Brush by them all today and give them a sense of your being near, being with them. Thank you for all you do to let your Mum know that you are listening, watching. What joy to a broken heart to know that there is a place just beyond the veil of this world.

Given to Fly Mike, your wings were given to you to fly.

[ericasmom]

Kate, while you may be dressed like Ralphie, I am sure you will not put your tongue to any metal surface. How beautiful your area sounds, I am a prairie lover, like one of my favorite musicians who happens to have grown up in Canada on the prairie...Neil Young. Stay warm as you can.

I am feeling quite well, just a little sore at the injection spot and watchful of bleeding but other than that, A-OK and happy of it. I slept well. Also a treat.

Peace out guys.

Carol, as usual, your writing brings joy and tears to my heart, you are a WONDER to my life. Thanks for being so special.

[JD's Mom, Becky]

Ride your board among the angels on streets all made of gold,

Visit with the family already there from days of old.

All of heaven will adore you and hearts will quickly warm,

When you smile that beautiful smile with all your boyish charm.

Delight them with your antics, now I have no need to fear,

Your daring ways are safe in heaven, not at all like here.

Your life here too short, my pain so deep,

Comfort knowing in God’s hands you sleep.

What for you may seem a moment, feels like eternity to me,

Until death comes to take me and you again I’ll see.

Until then, watch over Dad & I, and Jasmine too,

For every waking moment we’re thinking of you.

Lay your head upon the clouds up in the sky,

Rest my darling angel, I’ll be there by and by.

[ericasmom]

JD's Mom, what a lovely tribute to your Boy, thanks for sharing. I am sure that his sweet ways have melted several hearts and he is one of the crowd, hanging out with our Babies, cracking jokes, finding air in his jumps, singing songs, dancing...being perfect in his new home.