Members rkh3 Posted February 22, 2013 Members Report Share Posted February 22, 2013 Not sure why I am doing this but guess I need to tell my story. Five years ago my wife fell on ice and had a torn rotator cuff. On the preop xrays they saw a small mass on her lung. Long story short they confirmed it was cancer, but stage one. They removed the small mass, did a pet scan and determined that it was contained, I never did believe the "we removed all of it' type of statement.She was good for three years, except for a minor stroke, result of the lung surgery, and an abdominal bleed which lead to a historectomy, ya well not great. Went through the every three month scans, all good unti she had pain in her upper back which they attributed to the historecomy, nope, cancer had metastasized. All down hill from there with chemo, radiation, all for nothing until she died at home 3/28/12. I'm crying typing this.She did smoke for10 years but quit 25 years ago, they attributed to environmental or genetic causes.So, here I am a year later, have two kids, a daughter, 26, getting married 8/10 and a 24 yr old son who still lives at home, both great people.Trying eHarmoney half heartedly, I feel I need someone my age to do things with, though I am very independent.All said, I often feel lost......thanks for listeningRich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 22, 2013 Moderators Report Share Posted February 22, 2013 Very sorry Rich. Lost my beloved to cancer as well. As for someone to do things with, I suggest checking meetup.com. That way you can hang with whole groups of people of various interests and settings with zero "dating" pressure. ugh I can't even conceive of that yet and it's been somewhat longer for me. Best to you - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 5boysdad1 Posted February 24, 2013 Members Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 So sorry for your loss Rich. Thanks for sharing your story. Lost my wife a couple of weeks after your wife passed. Mareen died suddenly April 6 2012. I have a few more helpers living with me than you. My boys are 5, 7, 14, 21 and 25. My oldest boy and his wife moved back in after my wife died to help out with the younger kids.You are not alone.Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rkh3 Posted April 1, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted April 1, 2013 Well, it has been a year last Thursday. Wasn't sure how I would deal with the anniversary, but it went OK and Easter was fine because we never did much with it anyways. I do enjoy my new found independence, always have been independent, in school they called me a maverick. That said I can't seem to get past this feeling of a lack of purpose in my private life. I find things to do, dating, projects, movies, shows but nothing seems to have purpose. On dates I flounder between not wanting to commit and not wanting to let go..........very confusing, for me and the dates. I am having trouble getting past 3 or 4 before I or they lose interest, either I am too possesive or don't show enough interest.Yup, I'm a mess I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John4802 Posted April 2, 2013 Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Hi Rich. How long were you married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rkh3 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 29 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Caremal Posted April 3, 2013 Members Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 I am in your shoes only it was my husband who passed yes 29 years married and 33 together – oh my we lived in sin. I know the feeling of being alone and the joy of the independence. I also know the agony of being alone and not having someone to spend time with. I also tried to date – once - it was a disaster and he keeps calling me and I have NO interest in him. I so would love to have someone to share things with. Someone to make some plans with someone who can lift that heavy box I struggle with someone to say get these tires not those. Hell I don’t know some of this crap. Then I go alone to eat – that is the worst. I was looking at a vacation to someplace warm and ugh – doing that alone – so I toss out that brochure and regress. My husband passed 11 ½ months ago and I wish he was here to guide me but he is not – he did tell me to go on and find someone someday. Just to tell you – YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Hang in there my friend – I send you a hug – oh yea a hug wow – how I miss them. Come to the chat room when you can often at night someone is there. Heck I have nothing better to do at night and go there for support and to offer it when someone needs it. I will stop rambling on for now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lester Posted April 3, 2013 Members Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Hey you keep rambling girl. And as you say you are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rkh3 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted April 24, 2013 Thank you.I just posted another thread, dating. It has been up and down but so far I am glad I am doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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