After losing the person we love, there are only three choices

[AlwaysHisGirl]

It was after Mike's memorial service when reality finally set in and the pain of losing him felt unbearable. For weeks I faced horrible emotional pain every morning upon waking, and it did not go away. I needed very much to find relief from that terrible pain. I felt desperate to find it. About a month and a half after Mike's death I chose to have a session with a medium whose web site convinced me to give it a try. I had nothing to lose if she, who is a spiritual medium/intuitive empath, turned out to be a fake, and so much to gain if she could do what the women who had written testimonials said she could do. The session with Rachel, the spiritual medium, was totally positive, and I left believing that Mike still exists, he is always with me, and I will see him again.

I suppose what I am intent on sharing here is my process of healing. After I met with the spiritual medium, I began reading books about near death experiences (NDEs), after death communications (ADCs), the afterlife, and mediums. Then sometime during my research on those topics, I realized that I have only three choices: Choose to remain in pain, Choose to find ways to heal, or Choose to end it all. My choice is to find ways to heal. And I'd like to share some of what I've done to help me do that. I will simply list them here:

Met with a medium

Read books, such as the following with the author's name listed first:

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: On Death and Dying, On Life After Death

Betty J. Eadie: Embraced by the Light

James Van Praagh: Healing Grief, Heaven and Earth, Talking to Heaven, Reaching Heaven

Mary Ann Winkowski: When Ghosts Speak

Robert Brown: We Are Eternal

George Anderson: Lessons From The Light, We Don't Die, Ask George Anderson

Dr. Mary C. Neal: To Heaven and Back

Dr. Eben Alexander: Proof of Heaven

Keep a journal with me in which I record memories of Mike when one crosses my mind. (Where we went, what we did, what he said, the way he smiled at me, what he believed, the way he looked at me across the campfire, what made him laugh, the way he danced and played with his grandchildren, and much more)

Keep a journal in which I record spiritual experiences, coincidences, dreams, unexplainable phenomenon

Read what others write about their losses, how they feel, and how they are coping. Before I started to do that I had no idea that it would help me to heal, but it has.

I hope this post has helped in some way.

"Share knowledge so that others may light their candles by it."

[dsmurph]

Thank you AlwaysHisGirl. The books are so helpful in understanding where our loved ones are, and where we will be one day. The journals are such a wonderful idea to help us heal and for holding onto such precious memories. Yesterday on our way to the cemetary I started thinking about this donkey we came upon. We came up next to him in our car. He looked straight at me, I rolled my window down and said Hi to him. He turned his head and Hee Hawed soo loud. We all got a laugh from that. Emily would bring that up from time to time. We would all laugh again. I thought of this all day , and when I got home I wrote it down. Thank you so much for sharing the journal idea ! I look forward to writing all my memories in there!

[Deesgirl]

Thank you for sharing AlwaysHisGirl,

I keep a journal with messages that I write him and record dreams that I have with him.

I pray I see him in my dreams tonight..

[Silvergirl61]

Thanks for sharing that with us. You know, reading the ways some other folks are finding to cope, does help me , immensely.

If it wasn't for all of you who post here, I honestly feel like I would get lost in the sadness, sometimes. Thank you all for just being here, and sharing .

[kathyl]

I also keep a journal. At first I started it because there was so much I needed to tell him. Then it became a place to write down all those things he would do or say that I never wanted to forget. Now it is a mish-mash of that and things that have happened that have made me think he has sent me a sign or two.

I would also like to see a psychic medium. I need so badly to know whether those things that have happened have been signs or not....but I am also afraid that either I will not get the answers that I want to hear or I will end up seeing a medium who is not real

Thank you for sharing.

[widower2]

I would also like to see a psychic medium. I need so badly to know whether those things that have happened have been signs or not....but I am also afraid that either I will not get the answers that I want to hear or I will end up seeing a medium who is not real

...in which case they simply WILL give you the kind nof answers they know you want just so you're happy with the experience and will refer others to them. I'm not saying they're all fake per se but I guarantee some are. Just IMO but I advise caution.

[AlwaysHisGirl]

“People are not stupid. They believe things for reasons. The last way for skeptics to get the attention of bright, curious, intelligent people is to belittle or condescend or to show arrogance toward their beliefs.” (Source: Carl Sagan)

Kathy,

You are an intelligent woman. I know you will do your research before meeting with a medium. However, if in the first five or ten minutes you don’t feel you’ve chosen well, you have the right to leave WITH your funds. You also have the opportunity to try again until you find someone who is gifted, and when you do find that person, your world will change. My suggestion is to ignore the naysayers and surround yourself with positive people.

Best wishes in your search.

[widower2]

kathy, "you've got mail"