Members dsmurph Posted January 19, 2013 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2013 Yesterday I went to Kroger in the morning, trying to beat the snow coming our way. As my daughter and I walked into the shopping cart area, a woman in her 60's turned to us and said," I just have to share something with you, I have been battleing breast cancer since 2010. Today I went to the Doctor and found out I am clear. I felt so honored that this woman would choose to share this amazing news with me, a random stranger. I felt nothing but love and happiness for her and hugged her. Afterwards I knew that Our Father had placed her in my life for a brief second to show me another blessing and to let me be a part of it. Even though I had been crying on the way to the store, missing my sweet daughter, I was still able to show love and kindness to another. This is what I desire.. even through my suffering I can still be loving and suppotive to others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted January 20, 2013 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dsmurph Posted January 20, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 I think we do have to ask and be open to receive to see the many blessings He shows us daily. sometimes it is really hard because I am so deep in my loss. When I am n those moments I beg the Father to finish my journey and growth here so I can be there with Emily and reside in HIS beauty. But I know I have to go on. It is a very hard battle placed upon us. It is one that we can not ever get over but, can only get through, day by day. For me, I could not do it without my Creator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted January 20, 2013 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 I agree with you completely. I found that up until my son's death I just lived my life without truly giving much thought to a deeper religious purpose. In crises that is when I leaned on God and experienced God more fully. In the deepest and darkest spot I had found myself in I didn't know if I could continue nor indeed wanted to continue with making a new life for myself. The very thought of going forward without my son in it seemed unbearable. That was when I found that I just had to give myself up and admit that I could not carry this load alone. I asked for His help and guidance to essentially save me in a way. When the going got too tough I simply focused on getting through the day as best as I could. Having said that I also knew that I had become my own worst enemy. I was pushing people away and also at the same time mad at them when they did walk away. I had to reach out and use the tools that were provided for me. Seeking counseling is an excellent place to start when you are in that initial stage. It really helps to have an impartial opinion and a person that is on your side. Try not to fight everything by proving you are strong enough to get through it on your own. This is not a contest and I became my own worst enemy. I was fighting with myself to prove I was strong. Well, I was not! Since that time I have now found a degree of peace again in my life. I have stopped to smell the roses if you will. My son's death taught me to stop racing through things and enjoy the moment. Every last beautiful God given moment. Three years into his death I am beginning to see that I will again find a sense of wholeness in time. This is a very difficult struggle but it can be successfully accomplished with determination and faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dsmurph Posted January 20, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 You're right, I just cannot do it alone, it is much too heavy for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted January 20, 2013 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 I know how hard this is for you. I am so truly sorry for your loss. You do not have to be alone in this. You have people that care and are supportive. Let them help to take some of this load off of your shoulders. You also have a strong faith. This separation is temporary. You will see your child again when it is right. Until that time please look after yourself and try to hold onto the belief that you are going to make it through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dsmurph Posted January 21, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 You are right, I know, and I will. It has not been very long. I know time and trying every day will help. thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD99501 Posted January 29, 2013 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2013 dsmurph: Only toast made from bread a warm feeling as the toast is made. Amazing when your suffering how even the slightest thing can turn to such a appreciation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dsmurph Posted January 29, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2013 I know, the way you look and feel about everything changes, right down to the tiny things. I've been thinking alot about that lately. Especially the way I look at our whole exsistance. It has all changed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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