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Having a bad day..


Lost Soul 69

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Having a really bad day already..I have no desire to do anything since my dad died..I feel like I am letting my family and others around me down...everyday I try so hard to be the way they want me to be..I put a smile on my face when I know its fake..I act like I'm ok when I'm not..I try talking to my husband but he tells me he doesn't know what to say..I don't know what to do anymore...I cry all the time..hardly ever sleep..I miss my dad so freaking much...he was always there for me..growing up me and my mom did not have a good relationship..she was not there for me like a mom should be..so I grew up with the love of only my dad...and I am so thankful for that because he tried so hard to give me the love for both of them...my dad was my best friend...he did everything in his power to make sure everyday I knew how much I was loved...when he died I feel like part of me died with him.... how does anyone come back from this...people say it gets better with time...sure does not feel that way...how do you even begin to live again when the 1 person that loved you the most is not here anymore...

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Hi there,

I just wanted to say I can totally understand where you are coming from. Every day I paint on a smile, see to my family and go to work, but behind closed doors I sob my heart out. You know you said your Dad made sure that you always knew he loved you, well his love for you has not changed, because he is not there is say it, does not make it any less true and as such your Dad wants you to be happy. It is still early days, so if you need to cry and cry some more. I do not believe that time heals but I do believe that time mellows feelings, the amount of time that each person needs is not set in stone. When my Mum passed it was nearly three years before I began to feel more like my normal self, now my Dad has passed I am back to square one. My husband is at a loss too, I do not think it is uncommon, just try not to judge him for it, it is difficult for some to understand. Take care of yourself and take one day at a time, it is the only way. hugs

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Hi, I know exactly how you feel. I am going through the same thing. My dad passed away right before Christmas and my husband and inlaws expected I should put on my happy face for show. Same thing on my birthday my husband wanted me to be happy. The one thing I have learned in a short period of time is you cannot control the way you feel. It makes me so angry when I feel pushed to act or feel a different way. My husband is the same way, he loved my dad but at the end of the day it wasn't his dad it was mine. The pain isn't as excruciating for him as it is for you or I. I feel alone most of the day with my feelings because I know my husband gets tired of going over and over it and I don't want to talk about anything else. Some days I just don't want to get out of my pajamas. I have to take Ativan to sleep and honestly I don't know what I would do with out sleeping meds. I was also very close and shared a special bond with my dad. Now that he is gone there is an emptiness and a void that nobody else will ever be able to replace. I feel like nobody will ever love me as much as my dad. I lost my best friend. I have no idea what helps me get through each day. Some days I try to supress it and not think about it, stay busy. Nothing's really helps. I am going to try a local support group and see how that goes. My heart goes out to know, I know ow crushed you are. If you ever need anyone to talk to you can always message me.

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stillfighting431

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom may 24, 2011.I know what you’re going thru & my heart goes out to you. Just like your dad, my mom was the one person I loved the most in this world & I know she was the one who loved me the most. When I lost her, I lost my foundation, my source of courage & strength. Mom had total hip replacement for hip fracture & she’d just starting walking again when she developed chest congestion & passed away from the complications. She was a strong, proud woman who took care of her family all her life .She hated & dreaded being bedridden & dependent on others for care but that’s how it was in the end. My sister & I were her primary care givers. We helped her with everything & that brought us even closer. It was like the roles were reversed, the children become the parents & vice versa. Now both we sisters feel as if we just didn’t lose our mom but a child too, a part of us. Hope that makes sense. It’s so painful & heartbreaking to see your once larger than life parent wither away. I’d have traded places with her if I could.

I was there when my mom took her last breath. That moment will haunt me forever. Those who haven’t lost someone close to them can’t understand it. There’s not much anyone can say that’ll lessen your pain but please know that you’re not alone. Everyone here is going thru the same agony, trying to make it from day to day. I can honestly tell you that this pain will become bearable in time. You’ll accept it as a part of you & learn to live with it although it seems impossible right now.. I know the immeasurable strength it takes to care for a very sick loved one. The courage it takes to drag yourself out of bed each day & go thru some sort of routine after their passing. So don’t doubt your strength.6 months aren’t very long. You need time to grieve process & heal .So hang in there. It’ll get better but it’ll take a lot of time& tears. Keep writing in, it helps. We are all here with you.

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Thank You all so much for replying back to me...it really is nice to know I dont have to feel so alone anymore...I am so sorry for each of your losses...I know I am new and still have so many struggles of my own...but please know I am here if any of you ever need to talk...again Thank You for all your kind words...

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You are welcome lost soul, we are all here trying to heal and help each other. I for one know that it is helping me to be here and I hope that it will help you too.

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