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Probably an odd post...


CCKline

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On October 30, 2004, my oldest sister died unexpectedly of a pulmonary embolism.

As if that's not bad enough, here's where it gets REALLY tricky:

I never so much as had a conversation with her. She was my father's daughter from a previous marriage, and my mom didn't like him to have anything to do with them...and she definitely didn't want me to from fear of them telling me things about her. I lost my dad unexpectedly on the 11th of this month...and it's making me think a lot about my sister. I was devastated when she died, but mostly because of the guilt I had over not having a relationship with her. Not that I really had a say in it....I was 17 when she died, and I had asked my parents repeatedly to let me go visit her, but my mom always refused.

How do you deal with such guilt over something so final? It's not like I can have a relationship with her now...

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I am sorry about your loss. You talk about your guilt with others, as you are doing now. You are right, you were not responsible at all for not having the relationship; it was your parents' responsibility. What would you tell others in your situation? We will be here for you.

ModKonnie

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