Members DJMtopper Posted December 22, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 Hello all, this is my first post and I am not really sure how this works, so I thought I'd give it a try. I heard about this website and heard that there are some really good people on here. First of all, I feel like talking about my brother's loss has really helped me, but I was looking for some advice from people who have gone through a similar tragedy. Just 2 days ago, I lost my brother (who was also my best friend) at the age of 18. We were only 3 years apart so we were incredibly close. He was suppose to have surgery to have his spleen removed because of his ITP blood disorder. The surgery went terribly wrong and the surgeon went straight through the spleen and hit the aorta. They could not get the bleeding to stop and he died on the operating table. My parents called me and my sisters into the hospital and told us what had happened. This became the worst day of my life as Ihad cried the entire day thinking about how simple the surgery should have been and how he should be in the recovery room at this moment. At first, I was in denial and then I became very angry. I can't sleep and never feel like eating. I would never result to drinking because I know that would disappoint my brother. I looked up to him and saw him as my hero even though he was younger than me, since he never complained about having to go to the hospital every week to have blood work done. I always promised myself I'd get a tattoo if something like this ever happened, but I want it on my forearm so that I can always see it. I also wake up at night and check his bed, hoping that this entire ordeal was a nightmare and that I would see my brother fast asleep.I pray to God that he would just rewind time and bring him back from a successful surgery. I only wish I could have at least said goodbye. I have always believed in heaven, but until that day I can't stop worrying that there is no afterlife and he's just wandering around in lonlieness. I hate that I cannot be there to protect him anymore. What I really want to know is, have any of your deceased loved ones ever made contact with you or gave you a sign that they were ok? I've just been waiting and hoping we would get some kind of sign that he was safe and happy and it hasn't come yet. My friends have all been really supportive of me, but I felt like joining this website and being able to talk to people who have suffered a similar loss. I apologize if any of this sounds ridiculous. Any help or support is really appreciated and thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.