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Loss of a Sibling


Ambria

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hello everyone.

im chelsea well im 17 years old and i lost my brother to murder. he was my oldest sibling. he was 11 an a half years older than me. i was 12 an he was 23. he was my best friend i was his everything the apple of his eye. well this is my story. it was one halloween night it was a normal halloween me my mom god mom an my bestfriend at the time went to the haunted house i was dressed in his clothes worried the whole time he might catch me wearing them. he would always get mad well the night goes by an the next day my mother went with my god mom somewhere an me an my friend were left alone at home playing around when we herd a knock on the door there was this tall black man at the door i didnt know what he was there for an he asked if i was chelsea nelson an i replied no sir im chelsea brown an amediatly i knew something was wrong. he asked me if i was dallas' little sister an i replied yes sir. he asked to speak with my mother and like i said she was gone i asked for a number she can call him back on he was like no mam can u contact her and let me speak wit her. he wouldnt tell me anything about my brother. so no less than 15 minutes my mother showed up. my god mom came an sat wit me an my friend as the detective talked to my mother an grandmother. well my grandmother walked in with this most horrifying face and under her breath she wispered he's dead my heart was torn to peices.

what had happened to him was he was giving his so called friend a ride home as he always did from work. he had to take him to alton park which is the projects of chattanooga. well my brother had stopped by his girlfriends to tell her he would be back to get her daughter to go trick or treating. well he never returned. they say that he was had a struggle to get to his car he fought. he made it to his car im guessing and the shot him in the face through the driver side window he suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the face they drug him from his truck an beat him till he stopped breathing an robbed him. well the case is a cold case and unsolved i want to know how in the hell they couldnt get any dna. but that is my story so i go on now 5 an a half years later wit no answers. but i do kno 1 thing he loved me an i loved him an he is in a better place now im strong for my mother cause she couldnt do it wit out me.

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Hi All,

It's been a while since I've been on this site. I have a cold this weekend and I began reading all the posts and all I can say is...wow!I feel like I'm back in the early months w/ my emotions being soo raw.I relate to soo many people on quite a few tghreads this time!

 Even though Harv's been gone over 2 years, it still feels like he left this earth only yesterday! I can honestly say that I still miss him deep in my heart ; yet sometimes, I forget to think of him every day & that makes me sad. I don't want to forget the special cadence of his voice when he used to call me to say "Hi"and I don't want to forget how hard I would laugh @ his stories of my childhood w/ him as my big brother and there's tooo much to list about what I don't want to forget about Harvey !!! It's weird how time has made me forget somethings, yet remembering his death, brings me right back to my memories(as if they are fresh again?).Hopefully I will just ride this grief wave again today and pray that my tears dry quickly this time. I think the death this past week of two old family friends also hit me.One of the people who died was actually the Dad of an ex boyfriend and the uncle of one of my best friends(the jewish community is soo intertwined here). His Dad always made me smile too..just like Harv always had a smile for me too. The 2nd person to pass was my Mom's dearest girlfriend(she had a heart attack). I guess I'm tired of Death this weekend and I'm glad a new week is upon me.Whew !

Also,Jackie, you are in my prayers the month. I know Jeff's smiling down on you from above :-) I liked your posts on the I believe in G-d thread. I loved that story of your friend & the box :-) I need to find where I hid Harv's jacket and I need to sniff it again soon, so I too won't forget his smell :-) I'm glad your house is done. I send you a big hug up here from Maryland !

Blessings to all,

 Diane

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Hi Diane (and other newer members too

I so much agree with you, sometimes the grief and pain is like a blessing, "oh, the pain of loving him is back".  When there are several good days in a row, I too, worry that I won't remember everything about him and I feel guilty that I didn't hurt as much that day as I did yesterday.  It is so very wierd.  I am pretty sure you don't feel like this when you loose and arm, or a leg.  I am pretty sure you rejoice when you have good days. 

I still think of him everyday, but it is usually at night, right before I sleep, I picture his face and his smile, then I pray that I dream of him.  I try to go back to a good time that we had, either on the beach, or here in the back yard playing cards.  I can feel his arms wrap around me in a huge, crushing bear hug.  Which made me smile, I just remembered a time when I was at our local convenience store.  I was at the check-out when all of a sudden a person grabbed me from behind and hugged me so hard lifting my feet off the ground.  The look on the clerks face was funny, like she was part of a joke, then when I turned around it was him.  He had stopped at the same store and saw me at the register.  He loved spooking me like that, always the practical jokester.    I'd give me right arm right now if I could run up to the store and he would come and do that again...right now!!!  He will, it just won't be in this life time and I will wait for that.  I can just close my eyes and imagine my first steps into heaven, looking around in amazement and then BAM...there he is, crushing me with one of those bear hugs that picks your feet up off the floor.

My heart goes out to all of those that are new to this experience, and of course to my dearest friends here. 

Peace and blessings, Jackie

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[align=center]SAVE THE DATE!![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] We are excited to meet you!! Come join us at the Beyond Indigo Reunion!![/align]  When: August 14th through the 16th,   2009. We suggest you arrive the night of the 13th.

Where: Minneapolis, MN

For Who?: All Beyond Indigo members and people healing from grief and dying journeys. This means YOU! If you know someone who is not a member invite them along!

 We will be having speakers, social networking, opportunities to remember our loved ones and just a plain good time.

 More details (schedule, pictures of the location etc) will follow in the next 7 to 14 days.

 We need at least 25 people to make this event possible. We hope to see as many of you who can make it!!!

 Have questions? Please post in the Beyond Indigo Reunion Forum at  http://beyondindigo.com/forums/view_forum.php?id=83

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President

Beyond Indigo

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Hello Everyone,

It's been a while since I've posted, by I try to drop by often to gain strength to get through my days.  My brother Fred passed away over a year ago, in October of 2007.  (why can't I remember the exact date??????).  He had a heart attack and was in a coma for 4 days prior to his death.

Today I was in one of his favorite stores, a small, second hand shop.  There was always a painting hanging above the register that my brother had tried many times to purchase, but the owner liked it too much to sell it.  This was the first time that I had been in the store since his death.  Apparently, the owner decided to take it home.  I was speaking with the owner about it, and she said that there was always another person interested in it, but she hadn't seen him in a long time.  She thought that he must have moved.  She was talking about my brother.  I told her about his passing and she was very shocked.  He used to go into the store every day.  Telling someone about his death after this much time, hurt as much as when he first passed.  I was surprised by this.

His wife had the same thing happen just before Christmas.  One of his friends, whom he hadn't seen since just prior to his death, popped over to visit him.  She said it was terrible having to tell him about Freddy's death, as he had just popped over to have a beer with him.

What a roller coaster ride this has been. Even now, after a year and a half, there are ups and downs.  I still miss him every day, and often am shocked by things that can cause an emotional response. 

Peace to everyone,

Linda

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Guess who is traveling the farthest to our reunion?

It's Trudi.

Trudi is traveling all the way from Australia to Minneapolis, MN for our Beyond Indigo reunion in August!

If Trudi can make it, so can you! 

Come check our reunion page: http://www.beyondindigo.com/reunion/

Hope to see you there!

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The family and friends of Beyond Indigo would like let everyone know that Dawn Fisher (moderator of the Beyond Indigo message boards) lost her husband on Wednesday morning.  JD's death was an unexpected complication of surgery to remove a tumor.  Our most heartfelt condolences go out to Dawn and her children.  We know that there is no better place for Dawn to receive support than through these boards.

The online obituary for JD is here: http://fisherfamilyfuneralhomes.com/obits/obituaries.php/obitID/307941

If you'd like to send her condolences, you could send her a private message on the boards, visit the above obituary and sign the guest book (starting on Friday) or send materials to

Fisher Funeral Chapel & Cremation Services

1801 Chase Road

Logansport, IN 46947

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Hi all,

We are getting down to five weeks to find out if we can hold the reunion or not. Could you please let us know if you will be attending and register online? We need 25 people total. This is an amazing opportunity to make something special happen. Just click the big banner at the top that says REUNION and follow the steps.

Love to hear from you.

Kelly

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Does anyone know how or where I can find a sibling support group in my area????  I've looked and looked with no luck :?! HELP!

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IM MINDY I LOSS MY BROTHER NOV.23.2006 ON THANKSGIVING MORNING IN AN FATAL ACCIDENT,MY OLDER ONLY REAL BROTHER I HAD WAS 27 I WAS 23.MY WORLD HAS COLLAPSED SINCE HES BEEN GONE I KNOW WHAT YOUR FEELING I INVESTIGATED MY BROTHERS DEATH AND FOUND OUT NEW THANGS WHICH IM STRUGGLIN IT WILL BE ALMOST 3YRS I REMEMBER LIKE YESTERDAY I REPLAY THAT DAY IN MY HEAD EVERYDAY.HOPEFULLY I CAN LET HIM GO ONE DAY BUT HE WAS MY HERO,BROTHER,FATHER,BESTFRIEND MY EVERYTHANG NEVER KNEW I WOULD BE THIS WORLD WITHOUT HIM....

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willneverforget

Where to begin. I had a successful career as one of 2% of women in a traditionally male field. Then an accident ended it and cost me over $700K, lft me in chronic pain. Returned to college on a retraining grant based on previous work, completed a 3-year UCLA program in 18 months with 4.2GPA and completed novel that would be my new career/work. Then shattered my foot and in cast/crutches for 6 months. Elated when those off and rec'd my edited manuscript within the same week. Great editorial comments. Felt on top of the world. Was going to have my life back. Set to exercising again full-out and doing the recommended edits.

Within days opened my laptop early AM to a group email sent at 3:33 AM entitled 'I'm So Sorry' from my brother. 'What could that possibly mean?' I thought. Then reading it 'This isn't true...it's impossible...he thought better of it.' I started calling. His place was cleaned out, the police were searching for him. Around 7AM we got the word it was true.

In the intervening year all I could do is walk and cry...walked over 2,000 on the coast. He didn't want to do it. He was such a boyscout about paying bills. He'd always been successful. But had given his ex-wife WAAAAAAY to much trying to be a nice guy, not getting an attorney just giving her the outrageouse demands including $140K a year in support when she was living with a boyfriend and the house my brother had paid cash for her sat empty. The market crashed, and my brother who'd always been ultra responsible with money and a money maker lost everything and all hope.

He paid all his bills, prepaid his own cremation, and even left a note of apology along with all his ID, and put a tarp down under a remote tree so he wouldn't disturb anyone and also texted a message at 4:08AM so he'd be found at night and again spare others. The wife's $140K was due and he couldn't pay it unless he committed suicide so she'd get a $2M irrevocable trust+++. She's acting happy as a Lotto winner posting 'come and get me' photos on Facebook. She was always belittling to him, and lazy as can be when he worked like crazy to provide a beautiful home on a lake. He'd been confiding in a sister who is a psychologist...the morning we knew she was screaming 'That bitch killed my brother!' But to me, it wasn't just her...there are two others I blame too. It is still incomprehensible to me that the brother I knew did this.

Have put myself on the edge in many ways over this....and can't continue to let it destroy me. My brother made a terrible decision, albeit I think well intentioned one, in a lifetime of good ones. I will never 'get over this.' It has completely changed me. I've worn black every day since, and the one day I put on something with color....simply could not wear it.

I decided that to pull myself forward to get on marketing my novel and donating a portion of sales to Golden Retriever Rescue and Suicide Prevention would transform the meaning of his death, and extend his legacy. And I need to make an income too or I'll wind up like my brother...because there isn't anyone to help or support me...unlike my brother's former wife.

If you are interested in helping please go to my site and order a copy of my novel. Thank you very much and I wish that everyone will find a way to go forward. I know that it is devastating, tragic, impossible to forget....but I do think that something can pull is forward...and that the something is different for everyone.

All best....

http://www.suzannedecornelia.com/

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June 07, 2010

 

Dear Members,

 

We’re excited to inform you that we’re moving to a new and improved message board at the end of this week. It may seem a little bit sudden, but we recently learned that the company that designed our current board is no longer in existence. Our new message board will offer enhanced profile capabilities and chat rooms with up to 20 people at a time (and more if we need it). All of your old posts and private messages will be migrated to our new message board. You may need to re-post your profile picture. Our new message board will feature:

 

  • Custom profile fields
  • Profile page customization with optional background colors, images, and tiling options
  • Facebook and Twitter integration
  • Multiple post responses via “mini-quotes”
  • Pinned discussion threads
  • Targeted board announcements (for entire board or certain sections)
  • Comprehensive search options enabling users to easily find all content created by a particular member (by clicking “Find Content” on the main profile page, or in the “Mini Profile” pop-up which can be accessed throughout the board) 
  • Enhanced privacy options that allow users to sign in anonymously, be hidden from the online users list, disable personal conversations, and deny user-to-user emails

 

You can access the new message board by visiting www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com. Grieving.com is still 100% a part of Beyond Indigo; we just created a new Web address for Search Engine Optimization (SEO) purposes. We’ll do our best to redirect all existing URL’s to our new board, but if you have difficulty accessing them, just remember to visit www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We’ll of course try to make this transition as seamless as possible. 

 

Our new board will seamlessly enable us to grow our community and provide you with even more ways to interact with one other, and for that we’re very grateful. Please feel free to email feedback@beyondindigo.com with any questions, and thank you for being a part of the Beyond Indigo online community.

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President/CEO, Beyond Indigo

 

 

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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. 

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. 

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family

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