My Mother

[c3po]

Last night i found out my mother took her own life. She had been battling depression and anxiety for several years and was convinced that she had alzheimer's/depression, however this was not the medical diagnosis we received. she could not see this, spent nights printing out signs of dementia and shoved it into my read. I'm only 21 and have 3 siblings, and older sister 24, younger brother 15 and younger sister 12. My younger sister would speak to her every night before she went to bed and she could not contact her. She then called my sister who in turn called me and i said there's northing to worry about. Fast forward a few hours and my dad went to check on her (they are divorced for 10+ years). he found her in the garage, she had hung herself. the saddest thing is my 12 year old sister was probably the first one to know something was wrong. My dad and elder sister were at the scene. I was left to tell my younger siblings what had happened. I hadn't seen my mother in a week and the last time i saw her she was crying on the driveway as i took my younger sister to my dad as they were fighting. I didn't answer her calls and replied to only a few of her messages. i was the only one living with her for the past 4 months as it was in the best interest of the younger kids. i cant help but think that i am responsible. i left and was the only one there to keep her company and protect her. she had been in and out of hospital and on different medication. she never even got to see my siblings finish primary or high school. they will have to grow up without a mum. I'm trying to be strong for my remaining family, but inside i feel empty. she didnt like the house she lived in and said id rather die than live in this house. i guess i didn't listen. is suicide the most selfish thing a person can do?

[srhannon]

I am so sorry for your lost my mother past away 8/27/2012 and she left behind five kids one in which is disable so I really know how hard it was to tell your younger silbings about your mom passing. I really can't tell you if it was selfish of your mom or not to take her life she was ill. I would say you should not blame yourself for your mother's passing because it is not your fault at all. My mom pass in my brothers arms and he felt like he did not do anything to save her and he is dealing with that hard but there is nothing that he could of did different or you. Your mom was ill there was no way you would know for sure that she was going to end her life. This are things we have no answer for as to why love one past or take thier own life. I would say I will pray for your family hopefully with time you all will get the answers you seek. May god bless you all.

Last night i found out my mother took her own life. She had been battling depression and anxiety for several years and was convinced that she had alzheimer's/depression, however this was not the medical diagnosis we received. she could not see this, spent nights printing out signs of dementia and shoved it into my read. I'm only 21 and have 3 siblings, and older sister 24, younger brother 15 and younger sister 12. My younger sister would speak to her every night before she went to bed and she could not contact her. She then called my sister who in turn called me and i said there's northing to worry about. Fast forward a few hours and my dad went to check on her (they are divorced for 10+ years). he found her in the garage, she had hung herself. the saddest thing is my 12 year old sister was probably the first one to know something was wrong. My dad and elder sister were at the scene. I was left to tell my younger siblings what had happened. I hadn't seen my mother in a week and the last time i saw her she was crying on the driveway as i took my younger sister to my dad as they were fighting. I didn't answer her calls and replied to only a few of her messages. i was the only one living with her for the past 4 months as it was in the best interest of the younger kids. i cant help but think that i am responsible. i left and was the only one there to keep her company and protect her. she had been in and out of hospital and on different medication. she never even got to see my siblings finish primary or high school. they will have to grow up without a mum. I'm trying to be strong for my remaining family, but inside i feel empty. she didnt like the house she lived in and said id rather die than live in this house. i guess i didn't listen. is suicide the most selfish thing a person can do?

[BreathofAngel]

Last night i found out my mother took her own life. She had been battling depression and anxiety for several years and was convinced that she had alzheimer's/depression, however this was not the medical diagnosis we received. she could not see this, spent nights printing out signs of dementia and shoved it into my read. I'm only 21 and have 3 siblings, and older sister 24, younger brother 15 and younger sister 12. My younger sister would speak to her every night before she went to bed and she could not contact her. She then called my sister who in turn called me and i said there's northing to worry about. Fast forward a few hours and my dad went to check on her (they are divorced for 10+ years). he found her in the garage, she had hung herself. the saddest thing is my 12 year old sister was probably the first one to know something was wrong. My dad and elder sister were at the scene. I was left to tell my younger siblings what had happened. I hadn't seen my mother in a week and the last time i saw her she was crying on the driveway as i took my younger sister to my dad as they were fighting. I didn't answer her calls and replied to only a few of her messages. i was the only one living with her for the past 4 months as it was in the best interest of the younger kids. i cant help but think that i am responsible. i left and was the only one there to keep her company and protect her. she had been in and out of hospital and on different medication. she never even got to see my siblings finish primary or high school. they will have to grow up without a mum. I'm trying to be strong for my remaining family, but inside i feel empty. she didnt like the house she lived in and said id rather die than live in this house. i guess i didn't listen. is suicide the most selfish thing a person can do?

Dearheart, In reading your account of what happened with your dear Mother I wanted to express my condolences on your loss. I am sorry that the rest of your siblings had to learn about this yet it was unavoidable. One never knows what is the main driving force behind a person who takes their own life. Sometimes there are no outward symptoms other than how they feel or tell you that they feel at the time. But one would never imagine they would end up taking their own life on account of whatever is troubling them. Thus, there is a real need for immediate intervention at the outset of such conversations. Someone may be able to get to the root cause of their problem with ample time given at the outset.

One thing that you must not do is to blame yourself for being responsible because if a person is predisposed to do something like this then many times regardless of who is present or there living with them they will still go on to do that which they feel compelled to do. I heard of a case where a young man had his parents and he was gainfully employed, etc. yet one day he went to his parent's house and took a shotgun and went out to the garage and shot himself. So, again, one never knows the true driving force that makes a person take their own life. They do not stop to consider the pain they leave behind for the rest of the family and others who knew them. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest as it is the most precious gift God could give to mankind. No one should therefore take their own life regardless of the circumstances! Many times it has been learned that whatever they perceived as being so detrimental to them, could have been overcome, yet they did not give themselves that chance to learn about it. And yes, in many an opinion, suicide is a great selfish act when done willfully and a person is not ill where they do not know any better as it does not take into consideration what that act will do to others to say nothing of their own precious life that they will end of which they deserve to live.

There is a good section elsewhere on this forum that speaks to SUICIDE and a posting that includes an important telephone number for those who are feeling suicidal. It is well worth visiting!

You must start to heal now, my dear, pray for your Mother as well as for yourself. There is great strength to be received when one reaches beyond themselves to their Creator.

I send you a Big ((((HUG)))). May God bless you and keep you always safe as well as your siblings.

[mfrancis]

My heart breaks for you. I cannot even imagine going thru something like this. May I suggest that you visit The Alliance of Hope Forum: a healing place for those grieving

loss to suicide which is at this link http://forum.forsuicidesurvivors.com/

The opening page of the site does not convey the richness of community there. Be sure and go to the forums page.