Members breadandcircuses Posted September 15, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Hello everyone. I feel I have lost my 81-year-old mother twice. She fell and suffered traumatic brain injury on August 27. We had her respirator removed on August 31 and she stopped breathing in Hospice at 8:20 a.m. on September 1. It's probably not important but I feel she died on both those days. I spoke with a Hospice counselor yesterday and she advised that I not attend a support group for three months. She explained why but I don't remember what she said. I don't remember a lot of what people say. I now have to take care of my 90-year-old father long distance. Mom took care of everything. He doesn't know how to make a long distance phone call or use a calculator, for two examples. He wants to move to be close to me but my parents' best friends of over 50 years think he will do better where he is. In addition, my father and I no longer communicate with my one brother so this all falls on me. I've been panicky and every thing reminds me of my mother. We both loved to read and I can't imagine ever enjoying reading again. I was planning on going down to visit her in the next month or two and now that will not happen. She loved me more than everyone else combined and I don't feel worthy of that love. I could have been so much better. I could have called every day though I did email almost every day. I ache that she had to go through so much pain with my brother. I'm afraid I'll forget to pay an important bill or fill out a necessary form that will penalize my father in some way. I'm afraid I will become more afraid as time passes. I don't want to leave the house, go to work, take care of my gardens, nothing. My animals and foster animals are the only motivation I have. Yesterday one bad thing on top of another happened and I became hysterical. A very good friend calmed me down and helped me with the things that needed immediate attention. My counselor said it could be a year of grieving and that scares the hell out of me. There is no spirituality in me and so it is all hard reality with no belief in strength from gods or comfort that there is any sort of afterlife. She is gone forever. Does anyone have any words of encouragement for me? Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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