Members finbear Posted September 14, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 Hi everyone,I'm new to this forum and new to grieving. My dad died almost two weeks after a short four month battle with cancer. My mom and I were in the room with him when he passed and it was very peaceful but almost immediately I felt a huge loss from my life. I stayed at my parent's house for a week so I could help my mom get organized and just so she wouldn't be too lonely right off the bat. I'm now back in my city (which is about 600 km away) and I feel so lost and so alone. None of my friends have been through this and I can't control my emotions. Besides the obvious emotions of crying and being sad all the time, I'm also finding that I'm getting mad at my friends for over the smallest things. Everytime I think of my dad I cry. And everytime I remember how sick he was at the end and how much pain he was in I just can't control it. He only survived for four months after his diagnosis and while we all had the time to say our goodbyes, I still wasn't ready. Dad and I also had very different views on what happens after life and I've been struggling with how to keep a connection with him, if that makes sense. I don't know if this message makes sense. I just don't know how to handle my grief, while still getting along with my regular life. For example, earlier tonight around 9 I thought "two weeks ago about now I got the very last hug ever from my dad". How do I grieve while living a regular every day life? How do I not get so sad when I think of the reality of my life without him? I also have so much guilt over leaving my mom there alone. Her life will be changed forever and it breaks my heart that she lost her soul mate.I'm sorry, I know this doesn't make very much sense. If anyone who's been in a similar position could share their grieving process or anything that may have helped them I would really appreciate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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