Members Shelbay Posted September 14, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 Hello. My Name is Shelby. I'm 20 years old. I recently lost my girlfriend of 4 years suddenly. I haven't lost many people. Friends, yes. But family, no. I lost my Nana when I was 9 and it hurt but I grieve over her more now than I did then. So losing Jacqueline was very hard, still is. I was with Jacqueline since I was 16. It was my 11th grade year. I have now been out of high school for 2 years. Our 4 year anniversary was September 8, 2012. However she was taken from me September 6th, 2012. I watched her fight for her life, basically. But there was nothing I could do. I was useless, and afterwards, lifeless. She had been diagnosed with PCOS on August the 20th. She began taking Breilynn birth control. She was cramping very badly. On Sunday, September 2, She was very sick to her stomach. Throwing up, and hyperventilating. I thought she took too much medicine but when I asked her she said "No. I did not get the chance to take it." I calmed her down, made her take a cool shower and she felt better. The next day, she threw up more. We went to the movies and she ate a little popcorn and immediately leaving the movies, she threw up. This was last Monday. When we were driving home she began crying and again, hyperventilating. Jacqueline had bad acid reflux so throwing up was a bit normal for her and I but for her to cry, that was not normal. I called 911 because by then I really wanted to make sure she was okay. She kept crying and calling my name because she did not like hospitals. She's 22 by the way. I forgot to mention that. I followed them to the E.R. I sat in the waiting room but the nurse came out and needed me back there to calm her down. Which I did. I helped her, I talked to her, I kissed her and I never left her side. The doctor ran blood tests, did some IV and wanted to do a cat scan for a possible blood clot in her lung. Never did. She was discharged. She felt better that night, however I took her to the doctor the next day to have a check up and the doctor just said she needed to see a GI doctor. Well, I scheduled that. For October the 8. This was last Tuesday. On Wednesday she was throwing up a little but not as much as the previous days. She was also bleeding very badly from her period which was unusual. She was fine, feeling great. On Thursday morning, she had extremely bad cramps. Which was normal for PCOS and also a new birth control. She wanted to stay home but I felt it was better to go with me so I could keep an eye on her. She went down stairs and waited for me to lock our apartment door. She looked and said "Shel, hospital." I knew something was wrong, she HATED hospitals. She always said "People die there." I said "Okay babe, get in the car, get some air." As I was unlocking the door, she fell. Hard. Not hitting her head. I'm not sure if she passed out, or what exactly happened. I ran to her, she was looking but not at me. She was so beautiful though. Anyway, I call 911. They are wanting her to get into the car and she did. She said she was thirsty so the lady who came downstairs ran back up and got her some water. She fell over the middle of the car holding the horn down. Not intentionally. I thought she died, but she didn't. She was standing, drooling all over the car door. The ems came and got her on the stretcher. She continued saying she was going to die. They loaded her on and I looked at her. Her arm was limp, her eyes were closed. However she was still there. They loaded her into the ambulance. She was screaming. And last night my mother told me the paramedics told the doctor that she was very combative in the ambulance which was not like her. She wasn't a mean person. Which all of this is a sign of a blood clot in your lungs. Anyway, I followed them again to the ER and I walked in there and told them when she got a room to let me know and then they called a code blue. I asked what that was and they said "Cardiac Arrest." I asked if it was my baby but they could not tell me. So I proceeded to ask how many patients they had in the ER and the lady said "Just 2, but nothing serious." so, I knew it was Jacqueline. The wait felt like hours. It was killing me to sit there and wait for her. They came out, took me back and I immediately said "Is she dead or is she not" and they let me know she was and that they worked 45 minutes on her but could not bring her back. I was angry. I'm still angry. Because all of this could have been prevented. Why didn't they do a cat scan? Why didn't they shock her? Why did God take this wonderful amazing 22 year old out of my life so suddenly? He gave her to me, and then he took her away. And it's not like I didn't cherish her because I did. I loved her with every ounce of my body, and wish I had enough time to give her the world but I didn't. Her funeral is Saturday, 9-15. Her viewing is tomorrow, Friday 9-14. They flew her body back to VA where she is from. She was down here living with me, working with me...I don't know how to feel. I haven't cried for 3 days. But I wake up thinking of her every day. I feel lost and incomplete because it's been for 4 years, Shelby and Jacqueline. And now it's just me. I feel alone, lost and confused. People say she's with God but I'm so angry with him that I force myself to believe otherwise. And then I do believe it and believe she's my guardian angel but then I feel she may get mad that I do something, or what if I find someone else and she doesn't like that? I feel like, well no I don't feel like anything. I was not prepared for this. This isn't something I could plan for. I need help. And it feels good to know that I came here and I am not the only one suffering, however death does not have a severity. It all hurts. Please help me, let's help each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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