Members Rlyn Posted September 13, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 It has been an incredibly difficult month. I am twenty five years old, and my mother has always been my rock. Even though we live hours apart i couldn't go a day without talking to her. She has had a long history of heart disease, it runs in the family, pretty much not an if it is a when. She has had 5 pacemakers over... twenty or so years, she is only 52, beginning of August i was told she would need a new one and it was a pretty routine thing for her to be in the doctors. Later that night i got a call from a family member saying things took a turn for the worse and she wasn’t going to make it. It was a complete and total shock. I was at work, and thought my world was crashing in around me. She spent two weeks in the hospital and then left. I had hope at that time. Things would be good, she had her new pacemaker. A couple days later she was at my grandmothers and went into cardiac arrest. They did the hypothermia treatment and she was awake from the coma 3 days later. They didn't find any blockages, just her general weak heart. We spent over a week in the hospital with her, and i will never forget the encouragement from my significant other to talk to her and be with her.. i couldn't. Couldn't let myself go there, couldn't touch her or speak to her. It broke my heart when he told her he loved her.. She had some memory issues after that, which was to be expected. Mentally she was intact otherwise. It has been... 2 weeks... about.. since then. She is going to the doctors every day for blood work. Her liver and kidney are no longer working. I am still hours away from her, and we are waiting on specifics of time frames.. but I no longer know how to process this. I am her only child. She isn't married. There were a lot of decisions I had to make when she was in a coma. I feel like i am not grieving or going through this properly. I don't exactly know how.. the only death i have ever dealt with is a miscarriage a couple years back that nearly destroyed me. What’s next? How do i get through this? I feel like every passing moment i distance myself further and further from the entire thing... Thank you for the advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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