Members moonchaser Posted September 3, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 My grandfather is currently in the ICU at the hospital dying of aspirated pneumonia. He has lived a great life--lived through WWI and fought in WWII. He was an air force pilot with 9 lives--he managed to live through the war even though WWII pilots had a notoriously high mortality rate. After the war he returned to college and after graduating became a high school history teacher. He loved to teach every young person willing to listen about history and fill their minds with historical facts. I shouldn't talk about him in past tense because he is still here at the hospital, but is unconscious and attached to an I.V. and other machines to monitor his breathing and heart rate. He condition changes from stable to critical in the blink of an eye--that is the worst for all of us.I wish nothing more than a peaceful, easy transition for him into the next world and yet life is never so kind! Yesterday a stupid nurse tried to force feed him antibiotics after he yanked out the IV from his arm and nearly suffocated him with the medicine. Then the doctors had to use more emergency procedures to resuscitate him. This was happening all day on Friday when everyone was at work and couldn't be with him. The stupid hospital staff nearly killed him! This is what happens when nurses have ZERO COMPASSION for their patients! Finally, we got the doctor to agree to put my grandfather on an IV line to get the antibiotics again and now his condition is stable.My family has told the attending doctor that if my grandfather is no longer able to breathe on his own to let him go and not put him on the ventilator. The doctor said inserting the breathing machine is a painful surgical process and especially traumatic for someone as fragile as my grandfather. My mother has consented to letting him go if it comes to that. The doctors said they will give him a shot of morphine to take any anxiety, panic or worry away when he is unable to breathe. At this point with him being unconscious I don't think he will even feel any anxiety... at least I hope not.He is now in this limbo state where he is unconscious, unable to eat food, and breathing with an oxygen mask. It is torture for everyone in the family. We don't know if there could be a miracle and he recovers and becomes alert and conversational again or--the more likely event--his lungs will give out and stop working and the doctor has to give him the shot of morphine. It's like waiting for a nuclear bomb. Is it going to strike and when? it's torture living like this... Is it horrible to want this all to end and see my grandfather go peacefully into the next world? Even if he does revive and recover he will never be as strong as before and at 99 what does a person have to look forward to except more illnesses sand suffering?He is also unable to eat food being unconscious... he's going to starve to death at this rate. What do we do? I wish euthanasia were legal in this country. I saw my grandfather reach out his arm towards something (someone?) yesterday. It was in my direction but his eyes did not see me. I hope he saw my grandma and she is waiting to take him to heaven. I hope he gets to be with her soon because being stuck in a very old, failing body on a hospital bed with an IV needle bloodying up your delicate, fragile veins really, really sucks. But I'm not sure if he wants to go to heaven. I'm not sure what he wants to do, if only he could tell us... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted September 3, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 My grandfather is currently in the ICU at the hospital dying of aspirated pneumonia. He has lived a great life--lived through WWI and fought in WWII. He was an air force pilot with 9 lives--he managed to live through the war even though WWII pilots had a notoriously high mortality rate. After the war he returned to college and after graduating became a high school history teacher. He loved to teach every young person willing to listen about history and fill their minds with historical facts. I shouldn't talk about him in past tense because he is still here at the hospital, but is unconscious and attached to an I.V. and other machines to monitor his breathing and heart rate. He condition changes from stable to critical in the blink of an eye--that is the worst for all of us.I wish nothing more than a peaceful, easy transition for him into the next world and yet life is never so kind! Yesterday a stupid nurse tried to force feed him antibiotics after he yanked out the IV from his arm and nearly suffocated him with the medicine. Then the doctors had to use more emergency procedures to resuscitate him. This was happening all day on Friday when everyone was at work and couldn't be with him. The stupid hospital staff nearly killed him! This is what happens when nurses have ZERO COMPASSION for their patients! Finally, we got the doctor to agree to put my grandfather on an IV line to get the antibiotics again and now his condition is stable.My family has told the attending doctor that if my grandfather is no longer able to breathe on his own to let him go and not put him on the ventilator. The doctor said inserting the breathing machine is a painful surgical process and especially traumatic for someone as fragile as my grandfather. My mother has consented to letting him go if it comes to that. The doctors said they will give him a shot of morphine to take any anxiety, panic or worry away when he is unable to breathe. At this point with him being unconscious I don't think he will even feel any anxiety... at least I hope not.He is now in this limbo state where he is unconscious, unable to eat food, and breathing with an oxygen mask. It is torture for everyone in the family. We don't know if there could be a miracle and he recovers and becomes alert and conversational again or--the more likely event--his lungs will give out and stop working and the doctor has to give him the shot of morphine. It's like waiting for a nuclear bomb. Is it going to strike and when? it's torture living like this... Is it horrible to want this all to end and see my grandfather go peacefully into the next world? Even if he does revive and recover he will never be as strong as before and at 99 what does a person have to look forward to except more illnesses sand suffering?He is also unable to eat food being unconscious... he's going to starve to death at this rate. What do we do? I wish euthanasia were legal in this country. I saw my grandfather reach out his arm towards something (someone?) yesterday. It was in my direction but his eyes did not see me. I hope he saw my grandma and she is waiting to take him to heaven. I hope he gets to be with her soon because being stuck in a very old, failing body on a hospital bed with an IV needle bloodying up your delicate, fragile veins really, really sucks. But I'm not sure if he wants to go to heaven. I'm not sure what he wants to do, if only he could tell us...Moonchaser,You are definitely faced with a very hard situation. I hope for what is right for your grandfather, and I hope he does not suffer any more than what he has. When my father was in a similar situation, we worried about what he would want, but we already knew from all the conversations we had with him when he saw others suffering. Are you talking to your grandfather? Chances are he can hear you. Perhaps it is time to tell him to do what he wants, and if he wants to let go, then go ahead. That's what Hospice told us to do, and my father appeared to be listening. Our thoughts are with you, and we wish you courage and strength.We will be here for you,ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moonchaser Posted September 3, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 Thank you for your words, modKonnie. This is the soundest advice I've heard since the whole ordeal began. I will let my mom and aunts know. We will all talk to my grandfather and let him know it is ok to move on if he wants to go. We support him any which way.Moonchaser,You are definitely faced with a very hard situation. I hope for what is right for your grandfather, and I hope he does not suffer any more than what he has. When my father was in a similar situation, we worried about what he would want, but we already knew from all the conversations we had with him when he saw others suffering. Are you talking to your grandfather? Chances are he can hear you. Perhaps it is time to tell him to do what he wants, and if he wants to let go, then go ahead. That's what Hospice told us to do, and my father appeared to be listening. Our thoughts are with you, and we wish you courage and strength.We will be here for you,ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moonchaser Posted September 5, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted September 5, 2012 My grandfather passed away yesterday around 10:30 am. Something weird happened and I was wondering if anyone else has experienced it. The machine monitoring his heart and breathing went to zero and my family was in shock for a moment then we started lining up to talk to his left side--he couldn't hear out of his right ear. It was about a minute after the monitors indicated no heartbeart or breathing that I was able to talk to him. My cousin said she saw him nod when I said goodbye and when my mom said goodbye after me it seemed like he was swallowing (back tears?). I didn't think it odd at the time but when I researched consciousness after the body's heart and breathing stops it says the about 20 seconds after the heart stops the brain can no longer stay conscious. So my grandfather responding to our replies ~ 2 minutes after his heart stopped seems nothing short of a miracle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BreathofAngel Posted September 6, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2012 My grandfather passed away yesterday around 10:30 am. Something weird happened and I was wondering if anyone else has experienced it. The machine monitoring his heart and breathing went to zero and my family was in shock for a moment then we started lining up to talk to his left side--he couldn't hear out of his right ear. It was about a minute after the monitors indicated no heartbeart or breathing that I was able to talk to him. My cousin said she saw him nod when I said goodbye and when my mom said goodbye after me it seemed like he was swallowing (back tears?). I didn't think it odd at the time but when I researched consciousness after the body's heart and breathing stops it says the about 20 seconds after the heart stops the brain can no longer stay conscious. So my grandfather responding to our replies ~ 2 minutes after his heart stopped seems nothing short of a miracle... Dearest (((((((Moonchaser))))))),I extend my sincere condolences on the physical passing of your Grandad. When one is at the end of their life here on Earth many things are known to happen. What you are describing sounds like what some others have also experienced with their loved ones before their passing. That can only show one that just like these things are happening, people need to wake up to know and understand that when they leave this world they will enter into another one only more beautiful and pain-free and dis-ease free where they will continue with their life in spirit with their full mental capabilities just like on Earth. As you may have heard, spiritual growth is a non-ending process where the soul must continue to grow, expand, and learn infinitely. This "anomaly" that you are describing is an introduction to the eternal Afterlife and you need have no worries that your Grandad made it there alright as he was not alone in the process. And yes, with 2 minutes to spare, it most certainly is a miracle from God! Thanks be to God!Again, may your faith keep you strong and may God surround you with His healing light and love always! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members birdlady19 Posted September 7, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2012 My grandfather passed away yesterday around 10:30 am. Something weird happened and I was wondering if anyone else has experienced it. The machine monitoring his heart and breathing went to zero and my family was in shock for a moment then we started lining up to talk to his left side--he couldn't hear out of his right ear. It was about a minute after the monitors indicated no heartbeart or breathing that I was able to talk to him. My cousin said she saw him nod when I said goodbye and when my mom said goodbye after me it seemed like he was swallowing (back tears?). I didn't think it odd at the time but when I researched consciousness after the body's heart and breathing stops it says the about 20 seconds after the heart stops the brain can no longer stay conscious. So my grandfather responding to our replies ~ 2 minutes after his heart stopped seems nothing short of a miracle...Sorry for your loss. Lost my dad 3 monts ago tomorrow so I feel your pain & loss. No one really knows when the soul or spirit leaves the body. Does that require consciousness??? I don't know, don't know how that can be research. Yes you & your family received a 'gift', allows to be remembered. He knew that he was saying 'good-bye' also (for now). He was in transition & the moment was his death, the last part of Life. The days ahead will be hard on you & your family but you are not alone. You have one another. Prayers to all of you in the days ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moonchaser Posted September 7, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2012 Thank you BreathofAngel and readheads for your kind words. I miss my grandfather a lot, my mom and I met up mostly to visit my grandfather at the nursing home. In the past we would not have made the effort to see each other as much if it weren't for my grandfather. But he is gone now. His passing brought our family closer together, especially my mom and her sisters who had mostly fought and argued for most of their lives. My Aunt G, who had constantly tried to raise my rent, denied me use of an air conditioner in the hottest days of summer, and made up a story about owing her $2,000 when I was living in a building that she owned, finally stopped demanding money from me and now wants to have dinner. It's amazing how the passing of someone you love can turn everyone's life upside down and remind them of what is really important in life--the people we love. Grandpa's passing was a tragedy and within it contained many gifts--bringing quarreling and distant family members closer together and teaching us what is really important in life is not how much money you make, which fancy degree you earned, what car you drive, how many vacations you take, or how famous or important you are. I learned that these things are illusions and when everyone is on their deathbed facing the final journey all those worldly things become meaningless and only your spiritual wealth is worth anything. How you have behaved in your life--did you hurt others out of greed? Did you help others out of love? Did you forgive your brother and his bad temper and did you forgive your mom for abandoning you when you were a child? Are the people you love and who love you standing there with you as you prepare to make the final journey?All this I learned from my grandfather's death. Just a week ago I was a name-dropping, materialistic, opportunistic, self-centered fool who only wanted fancy degrees, fancy cars,a fancy job, fame and money and and was willing to work 24-7 for these things if it meant I could walk around showing them off. I didn't realize what life really meant and what I was supposed to do with it. Constantly, life felt empty like it didn't have a purpose. I wondered if this really was all there is to life--last year I even voluntarily got romantically involved with a man who was living here for only a few months and had a girlfriend back home. In the dictionary under the word "Lost" my photo should have been there.I think my grandfather didn't pass in vain. He got us thinking and re-evaluating our lives and asking if this is the life we should be living. Elizabeth Kubler Ross once said that in the end when we look back at our life we realize that nobody is responsible for it except ourselves. The weight of the good and bad in our life is entirely our own doing. It's good to know this now and to start thinking how to live a good and more meaningful life. I'm starting by reaching out to an old, good friend who I had a serious argument with 3 years ago and checking if she's willing to forgive my bull-headedness and be friends again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members immissingyou Posted September 7, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2012 I am so sorry for the passing of your grandfather. It sounds as if it was a wake up call to you as to what is really important in your life and that he was a wonderful influence. It's so hard when families are twisted up and days go by where resentment exists, hard feelings, etc. At the end of the day, life is too short and we should live each day to the fullest and keep those that matter most forefront in our hearts. Obviously that's easier said than done given individual family situations but all too often you hear stories of things like this gone wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moonchaser Posted September 21, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 It's like God has a personal vendetta against my family. I just lost my grandfather to pneumonia 3 weeks ago and now my father has been diagnosed with liver cancer.Why is Nature so cruel? Who has our family offended that they have to take revenge on us like this? We have never hurt anyone, never cheated, never stole, never even broken the law... So why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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