Slowly feeling better!

[cruise]

I lost my girlfriend Gloria on Dec 21, 2011 from a stroke she had on Nov 24th Thanksgiving eve. I live alone and for nearly 7 months after she passed I never had any dreams about her and wondered why, I dream almost every night about different things but just the last few weeks she has been in my dreams. In a recent dream she became visible just for a moment and smiled and faded out just as fast, I wanted to reach out and pull her back but she was gone. When i'm home at night I watch a little tv and little thoughts of her bringing me my dinner or poping in the room to show me something interesting I miss. I feel terrible when I think about the day she had her stroke and I had to call the ambulience for her. Just the night before she seemed so full of life and healthy. The ambulience pulls up and paramedics knock at the door and Gloria says in a low voice no no no no and she doesn't want to go but they take her vitals and take her away. They ask me if I'd like to ride along in the ambulience but I'm not dressed so I said I'd drive to the hospital as fast as I could. I got dressed and grabbed her purse with her wallet and raced to the hospital just to find out that in all the excitement I completely forgot her cell phone with all her relatives numbers in it. The nurses needed permission from a relative to start administering the drug to help her stroke. I and the nurses did everything we could to find a relatives number to contact but they were all out of town and her only daughter was in another state. I had to race back home about ten miles in heavy traffic to get her cell phone and call the hospital with the information. All that time I could have been by her side comfurting her. I found out that after a stroke you only have a few hours to get her into surgery. Besides missing her so much all this previous stuff i've mentioned haunts me. I'm 57 years old and very healthy and work very hard never thinking about death but Gloria on the other hand got layed off from a secretarial job at a medical firm and had a hard time finding another job at the age of 57 years. She didn't have insurance and after getting layed off she became depressed and her health started to go downhill. I did everything I could to help her but her depression and having smoked for over 40 years caught up to her. I will get through this but her passing has been the hardest thing i've ever had to go through in my life. My own thoughts about passing have changed and I will feel Happy in knowing she will be waiting for me. Rest in Peace Gloria my dear!

[val]

hello, my name is Val. I just read your post and felt the need to respond. I am glad you are slowly feeling better. It gives me hope too. I just lost my husband on july 5 2012 and have been full of grief and pain. he died sometime during the night of july 4- 5th. i found him july 5 morning and he wouldn't wake up. i am traumatized. he was already blueish in his face, something i will never forget. i called 911 and one of jer's best friends is a dispatcher there. he instructed me in cpr until police and ambulance came. it was to no avail. he was gone. overnight i lost my husband, best friend, recovery partner, my world. i whole life seems thrown up in the air. i too live alone now, with just my , our, kitty. Mocha, the cat, brings me much comfort. i do not nearly feel i am getting over it though;maybe just little glimpses. been crying all morning. so anyway i am glad to hear that you are slowly feeling better! val

[MemphisMargaret]

I feel the same...when it is my time, I hope it is fast, don't want to linger with cancer because it hurts having to watch..and I am comforted knowing he will be waiting for me.

I lost my girlfriend Gloria on Dec 21, 2011 from a stroke she had on Nov 24th Thanksgiving eve. I live alone and for nearly 7 months after she passed I never had any dreams about her and wondered why, I dream almost every night about different things but just the last few weeks she has been in my dreams. In a recent dream she became visible just for a moment and smiled and faded out just as fast, I wanted to reach out and pull her back but she was gone. When i'm home at night I watch a little tv and little thoughts of her bringing me my dinner or poping in the room to show me something interesting I miss. I feel terrible when I think about the day she had her stroke and I had to call the ambulience for her. Just the night before she seemed so full of life and healthy. The ambulience pulls up and paramedics knock at the door and Gloria says in a low voice no no no no and she doesn't want to go but they take her vitals and take her away. They ask me if I'd like to ride along in the ambulience but I'm not dressed so I said I'd drive to the hospital as fast as I could. I got dressed and grabbed her purse with her wallet and raced to the hospital just to find out that in all the excitement I completely forgot her cell phone with all her relatives numbers in it. The nurses needed permission from a relative to start administering the drug to help her stroke. I and the nurses did everything we could to find a relatives number to contact but they were all out of town and her only daughter was in another state. I had to race back home about ten miles in heavy traffic to get her cell phone and call the hospital with the information. All that time I could have been by her side comfurting her. I found out that after a stroke you only have a few hours to get her into surgery. Besides missing her so much all this previous stuff i've mentioned haunts me. I'm 57 years old and very healthy and work very hard never thinking about death but Gloria on the other hand got layed off from a secretarial job at a medical firm and had a hard time finding another job at the age of 57 years. She didn't have insurance and after getting layed off she became depressed and her health started to go downhill. I did everything I could to help her but her depression and having smoked for over 40 years caught up to her. I will get through this but her passing has been the hardest thing i've ever had to go through in my life. My own thoughts about passing have changed and I will feel Happy in knowing she will be waiting for me. Rest in Peace Gloria my dear!

[gunnerswife]

so sorry you had to go through that. i don't know if i will ever get better i miss hubby so much, we would had been together 32 years in september. He was 58.