Members regannes_momma Posted August 31, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 31, 2012 when i found out i was pregnant with twins, i was scared to death! but then i got used to the idea & got really excited. then we found out there were going to be problems. they had twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. i went to cincinatti & had lazer surgery to cut the placenta in half, so that they would have a better chance of surviving. went back a week later and found out that one of my baby girls had passed away we were devistated! what made it worse, i had to keep her in my belly until my other baby girl was born. i could feel her everyday. it made it so hard to cope. i told myself that it was for the best because she was in a better place. then i have an emergency c section and reganne was born best day of my entire life. they let me see my other baby, jade, after they got reganne to the NICU. she looked so much like reganne. i regret not holding her or getting her prints, but i really didn't know how to deal with it or what to do... she passed on december 28, 2011. i can't stop thinking about her. when i look at reganne, i know there's supposed to be two of her. i'm happy to have reganne, but it just feels like somethings missing. i feel quilty b/c when i found out i was having twins, i kept thinkin in my head that there was no way i could handle TWO. i feel like god heard me, so it's my fault. and now i think, i KNOW i could of handled two. i can handle ANYTHING god throws at me. what was i thinking? i visit her often, but it just ain't the same. i want her here. i cry all the time. i can't look at twins. i have friends who have twins and i've deleted them off my facebook, so i didn't have to see i know my boyfriend is hurt too, but he just doesn't show it like i do. i make sure that reganne knows who her sissy is. we have pictures of angels everywhere and she calls them sissy. but why did this happen to me? i should of done this a long time ago, but i think i was scared. i think i need help.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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