My questions to God

[Mdanielson4]

My questions to God

Did I not pray enough? Did I do something wrong? Why did you take my wife away? Was there something I could have done differently to prevent this from happening? Was there something I could have done to take her place? Why does the hurt stay with me? Is it a punishment? How can I continue on? Every time I turn around I see a picture of her, or her book, scarf, shirt. I start up the computer and open up the pictures and there she is. I cry, cry, cry… People say it will take time. How much time? When will the hurting stop? How much can I take? I have never felt this many emotions and they are all uncontrollable. When will the hurting stop? How much can I take?

Mike

[MBbabygirl1770]

Im so sorry Mike....I know how you are feeling! My fiance committed suicide a week ago. Its so hard! I am pregnant with his baby. I keep asking myself those same questions! Good Luck to you.

[gunnerswife]

sorry mike. I don't sleep well and i really have a hard time when i first wake up. the loniness is killing me. we were always together just a room away usually.

[cant move on]

Hi Mike I often feel I had a hand in my wifes death. But realize that I have no alternative but look towards the future and let the past go. Maybe the reasons are not mine to know. Bad days are triggered every time I see something that reminds me of her or things we used to do, but this is part of remembering and I hope it never stops. It will never go away completely but it will get better and more tolerable.

Wishing you the best.

[immissingyou]

Oh Mike. I'm so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately there are times that God works and we simply don't understand and probably never will. The first stage of grief can last weeks, months. I encourage you to try to find an outlet, something to redirect your emotions, even if only for a short period of time. Not thinking about your wife for an hour doesn't mean that you have forgotten her it simply means you've taken a break from the pain. You will heal with time but it takes time. Have you ever read The Shack? I'm not overly religious but it might be a good way for you to connect with what you're feeling and it's a terrific read. Again, I am so incredibly sorry.

[lazydaisy]

larloss I feel the pain my husband of 34 yrs. died the cause unable to thrive!I suffer it will not stop he was stolen from me right before my very eyes i didnt see it comeing God help me!

My questions to God

Did I not pray enough? Did I do something wrong? Why did you take my wife away? Was there something I could have done differently to prevent this from happening? Was there something I could have done to take her place? Why does the hurt stay with me? Is it a punishment? How can I continue on? Every time I turn around I see a picture of her, or her book, scarf, shirt. I start up the computer and open up the pictures and there she is. I cry, cry, cry… People say it will take time. How much time? When will the hurting stop? How much can I take? I have never felt this many emotions and they are all uncontrollable. When will the hurting stop? How much can I take?

Mike

[arnoldsmb]

Mike,

I don't know what to say to make your pain less. But I have questioned God so much since my husband died. I kept asking what had I done wrong.

Was I being punished? I would pray for knowledge, forgiveness. Then I would say "Why would God put anyone through this pain?". My husband and I were

married for 28 years. We could finish each others sentences. Know exactly what each one was thinking with just a look. It has been 14 months since I lost him.

When I get like this, I try to focus on every good memory we had,. I try to re focus my thoughts. This is really hard to do. And sometimes it is impossible. But it will get better.

I know it seems like that will never happen.

When this happens, I will sometimes try to write in a journal and cry and cry. Just putting down in words the questions, the pain and describing it with

all the words I can think of. It helps to get it out. Somethiing about crying and journaling releases some of the pain. And usually afterwords I feel

drained and spent. But somehow it helps. I don't know why.

Please know that asking others about these feeling and thoughts is a big step in the right direction. I have isolated myself over the past year because my family

just thought I should get on with my life. They seemed to have no clue how devastating a loss like this is.

I still have questions and thoughts that continue to come up, but it is not every single day. I mean some days I wake up and can't get out of the bed. But then I will

have a couple of good days. I know it will never end completely but somehow there will be days the pain is manageable.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You have helped me by putting them down in words. And to know there is someone else with the same thoughts.

I certainly will be thinking of you and hoping the pain will lessen for you.

Shay

[MemphisMargaret]

Love the Shack!

Oh Mike. I'm so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately there are times that God works and we simply don't understand and probably never will. The first stage of grief can last weeks, months. I encourage you to try to find an outlet, something to redirect your emotions, even if only for a short period of time. Not thinking about your wife for an hour doesn't mean that you have forgotten her it simply means you've taken a break from the pain. You will heal with time but it takes time. Have you ever read The Shack? I'm not overly religious but it might be a good way for you to connect with what you're feeling and it's a terrific read. Again, I am so incredibly sorry.

[MemphisMargaret]

When I lost my mother at age 20, I was furious with God...I hated God...I screamed at God, I quit going to church...None of it helped change anything. Now that I have lost my husband, I don't understand why God had this in His plans...but I accept that God knows what is best. Somehow, something good will come out of this even though I have to hurt like hell...I miss my husband immensely, but I'd rather miss him than have him here in the condition he was in. My husband was a nurse for 35 yrs. He was computer and phone saavy. He was just EVERYTHING. But while he was sick over the months he could not work, he could not work the computer or the phone toward the end. He just sat and we would talk and I loved that, but he also hurt. I have to picture him in heaven and how happy he is being with Jesus. I think of him and every minute I try to feel him with me ...beside me or looking down at me. This is all that gets me through. But I would never question or blame God, if I did, my husband would be really disappointed in me.

[naty0123]

Sorry for your loss Mike. I too question God everyday as to why he had to take my husband. Why did me and our 10 yr old have to find him dead in our room? Right now the pain is so deep and I'm so confused and I want answers. I think that is what makes it hard cause I have none! I can not imagine God wanted me and my daughter to feel so empty and if so why? Dont know what I can do to change the way I feel. I quit going to church and I have had no desire to read. However, I do pray .... Everyone keeps telling that God would not give more than I handle but, I am drowing!! Keep your head up!!!