Members gratefulone Posted August 27, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2012 I have been working wtih a counselor and she suggested I come to this forum. I am grieving the loss of my mom. No ....she has not died ! Somewhere along her life she stopped being a mom and became a child !!! After having read a lot of the posts here I have had some of the same symptoms (including physical) of the loss of a parent.My mom is still alive !! She is very sick now and I am fear going to the funeral ??? I aleady feel I have lost her so I am not sure why or if I would go to the funeral. I might go for others.. like her grandchildren who are going to miss their grandma. But I still need to move forward. I am also moving away from the same community we live in. I no longer can deal with the burden of pretending that my mom has been a good person to me (( Thank you for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Daffodilfun Posted August 31, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 31, 2012 I really don't know how to respond to your post. What you are going through is nothing I can relate to, but what you are going through is very real for you. It sounds like you did not have a great relationship with your mom. A funeral is not for the dead. A funeral is for the living. A time to share and a time to mourn. If you have others in your family that want to go to the funeral it maybe helpful for you to be there to help them (and in turn will help yourself).Questioning if you want to go to the funeral, or why, has already answered your question. You need to go to find closure to your relationship, the loss of your mother physically, the loss of what you wanted to have. You will move forward when it is time to move forward. Take time to grieve no matter when that is or for what. I believe that when your mom dies you will feel a great loss. Even though it hasn't been a great relationship she is still your mom. If you do have some good memories hang on to those.Let us know how you are doing. Let us know how we can help.Hang in there.Sally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lmmmbak Posted August 31, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 31, 2012 I lost my mother 6/4/12 and I'm having a really hard time. It was a sudden death, she was in the hospital for chest congestion and they said she had a mini heart attack and had a stent operation which she came through and was to be going home the following day when her heart gave out and she passed away. I spent the summer in another state taking care of my father and just came back home yesterday. Having a really hard time with the loss of my mother and now missing my father too. I haven't really gone back to my life yet and it's hit me all over again. Having a hard time functioning. I miss my mother so much and had times find myself going to call her, etc. Trying to find support group but so far haven't been able to find anything in my area. Just thought chatting with someone who is going through the pain I feel might help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members birdlady19 Posted September 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted September 1, 2012 I have been working wtih a counselor and she suggested I come to this forum. I am grieving the loss of my mom. No ....she has not died ! Somewhere along her life she stopped being a mom and became a child !!! After having read a lot of the posts here I have had some of the same symptoms (including physical) of the loss of a parent.My mom is still alive !! She is very sick now and I am fear going to the funeral ??? I aleady feel I have lost her so I am not sure why or if I would go to the funeral. I might go for others.. like her grandchildren who are going to miss their grandma. But I still need to move forward. I am also moving away from the same community we live in. I no longer can deal with the burden of pretending that my mom has been a good person to me (( Thank you for listening.Hi, Does your mom have dementia??? My dad transitioned 6-7-12. He died of pneumonia but he also had dementia which caused him to 'forget' how to breath. Dementia is the most horrible disease out there. There is research being done but not fast enough. My dad was in an excellent memory care facility & got the best of care. He was considered 'health', just had d. Got a 'slight cold' around Memorial Day then down hill from there. My mother also has dementia but 'behaves' differently. She's at an assisted living facility(the BEST). But she is grieving too. I have been grieving for 1 1/2 years since my mom fell at home & changed all our lives. I am a retired Rn but REALITY is rough. Hard to accept. My parents are(were) both 93. Yes I'm lucky to have had(have) them(her) that long (&healthy). Those words do not help. I feel for you , Yes sometimes our parent's do become children again & we have to make DECSIONS for them. It's hard. There are no rules out there with the right answers. I was told,'Do what your heart feels is right". This journey called LIFE is not easy. We get through it sometimes by trial & error. Please keep intouch. Joan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.