Members bdawn Posted August 25, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2012 I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to be here. My man hasn't died yet, but he's going to. He was diagnosed with lung cancer last week and today they told him he as 3-4 weeks at most. I'm devastated and scared. We met each other 10 years ago but we never married. Won't tell the whole story here but he suffered horrific physical and sexual abuse as a child. As a result he had serious emotional issues as an adult which made it impossible for me to marry him although that's what he truly desired. I too have issues from childhood and I hate being abandoned. He is abandoning me. Of course he is not choosing to, but that's how I feel. Like he's leaving me here to go on alone. I'm very confused. My feelings are mixed up and wierd. One minute I feel like the pain is too much to bear and I can't go on. Then I have a few hours where I feel completely normal. I have guilt. I wish I had been a better person for him. I wish I had been more understanding of his inner turmoil and given him more happiness. Over the next few weeks I will be watching him wither away. The agony of this is unspeakable. I've always been introverted so I don't have many people to talk to. A couple of family members are trying to be supportive but they are not hurting like I'm hurting. Thank you for this board. I have a feeling I'm going to need it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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