Members amotis Posted August 23, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 23, 2012 My name is Alicia and I am 25 years old. I have never done this before, but have recently been finding myself crying for no reason and feelng anger and resentment often.I know this is a website for people who have lost family or friends, but my sister is still living. My sister is now 21, a fighter and is fighting for her life.At the age of 17 my sister was diagnosed with a rare for of childhood cancer. She beat it after a year of intense chemo and radiation. But after 2 years of being cancer free, her cancer returned this time more aggressively and in more difficult places. It has been a year since her second diagnosis and the doctors are impressed with her tenacity towards this cancer. Unfortunately last January we ran out of options to fight her cancer and she has decided to not continue with any type of treatment and to live the last months of her life as best as she can. Recently my sister has lost the ability to walk because of a fist size tumor on her spinal column. SHe sleep most of the day because of the amount of pain meds she is on and it kills me to see her like this. I am 5 years older than my sister and I was always the protector of her. My whole family chooses not to discuss what is inevitably going to happen to her, but I just cannot live my life with so much anger, pain, resentment, hurt, and sadness.I know this probably seems ridiculous that I'm already mourning my sister who has not passed yet, but I just have so many feelings that I think are wrong. I dont want to be mad at her or at anyone else and I just want to enjoy her time with me. I am struggling and just want to know that its okay to be feeling this way. I feel so lost already. I appreciate any advice anyone can give me.Thank you.Alicia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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