Sudden loss of my father last year

[steviedawn]

My father, Duncan, passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack in the early morning of September 30th, 2011. I have been absolutely devastated, he was my best friend, we were talking constantly, he always made sure i knew how much he loved me and my son, and my boyfriend. I am a full time student with a 2 year old now, and have been so busy I pushed it all down and now i am totally side swiped by grief at random times. I dont realy talk to anyone about it, I dont know why. I think about my father CONSTANTLY. I mean all the time, whenI cut an onion for supper, I think of him. Driving, him.,, Its all the time. I need help, has anyone gone through this? I dont know what to do with myself, i get really angry if i dont work out every day now. I can't go to his old house or be around his things, as my step mother told us a week after he died to basically get lost. I am beyond lost and dont know what to do

[Kelly287]

I am so so sorry to hear of the loss of your lovely father Duncan. I lost my Dad September 2011 to stomach cancer. We only found out 3 months before he died that he was ill, although it wasn't sudden it certainly felt like it. I know what you mean about keeping busy, I've had so much on this year that I've barely had a chance to grieve properly, so whenever I'm alone it all comes flooding back and it's too much to bare.

All I can say is, please talk to someone, there are plenty of people out there, gp, counsellor, family, friends, or even someone like me online. The more you keep these feelings bottled up the worse and harder it is going to be for you, you don't want it to get to the point were you become ill yourself with stress, especially with your lovely 2 year old.

I really feel for you because I know how heartbroken I am to have lost my Dad, it is unbearable. I really think that the best thing to do in these situations is grieve, cry as much as you can, think about your Dad as much as you can and just let nature take it's course, and eventually you will come to terms with this, I think I have now. Don't forget Stevie, it is coming up to the first anniversary and that in itself is one huge hurdle. I know I am dreading it myself.

If you ever need to talk about this more often I am always here, just inbox me and I can send you my E-Mail.....I am here to help. As for your stepmother, she has absolutely no right to keep all your fathers belongings away from you, she may be hurting but she's not the only person suffering. Try and talk to her if you can.

Good luck and I hope this is useful x

[Nikki]

My father, Duncan, passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack in the early morning of September 30th, 2011. I have been absolutely devastated, he was my best friend, we were talking constantly, he always made sure i knew how much he loved me and my son, and my boyfriend. I am a full time student with a 2 year old now, and have been so busy I pushed it all down and now i am totally side swiped by grief at random times. I dont realy talk to anyone about it, I dont know why. I think about my father CONSTANTLY. I mean all the time, whenI cut an onion for supper, I think of him. Driving, him.,, Its all the time. I need help, has anyone gone through this? I dont know what to do with myself, i get really angry if i dont work out every day now. I can't go to his old house or be around his things, as my step mother told us a week after he died to basically get lost. I am beyond lost and dont know what to do

I'm sorry. I lost my dad the same way a little over 3 years ago. I don't really have any good advice. I will say I didn't talk about it to anyone, a counselor or a friend/family member at the time and i wish now that i had. I didn't think anyone would understand how i felt. It's shocking to lose someone, a parent who is someone you thought would always be there, so suddenly. Even 3 years later, there isn't a day that i don't think about him. It's not always a sad thought or a distracting thought but it's always there. If you ever need someone to listen, send me a message.