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It's been 5 months, but still feels like yesterday

Warren B

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I'm new to the site.

5 months ago my life change. My best friend of 16 years passed away suddently of a viral pneumonia. She was 36 years old a mother of 3 beautiful children and wife and only child to her wonderful mother. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. She was my world, my life and now I feel like a part of my had died with her. She was in the hospital for 7 days before she died and I was there when the decision was made to take her off life support. I watched the doctors turn of the machines and her heart stop...it was the most difficult thing I have every had to go through in my life.

Sometimes I still feel like I'm in denial, like this is just a dream and I'm going to wake up and she's going to be right here with me and everything is going to go back to normal, but I guess that's just wishful thinking. I feel guilty at times because I'm still here and she's not. I wonder everyday why her as she was such a positive person. She was the type of girl that would like a room the minute she walked in. She was kind, lovng, vibrant, supportive and the greatest person to ever come into my life and just like that she's gone. I've gone to visit her at the gravesite and leaving is the hardest part, how could i just leave her like that.

I've gone through grief counseling and it has help, but that pain and emptiness is still there. People say that with time the pain will subside...I'm still waiting for that to happen.

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