Lost my Dad a few weeks ago

[BellaWa]

I lost my Dad on the 22nd of July after a very long battle with a rare lung disease. He was only 50 years old. I'm 23 and I just graduated from college in May. I still live at home with my parents. My Dad's illness started to get a lot worse at the end of April, so I spent my summer helping my Mom take care of him. It was a horrible roller coaster. We never considered him terminal, even though he was on hospice. We hoped for a recovery until the very end. He did make progress several times, but then would have another episode and get worse. During the last weeks of his life he stayed pretty confused. It was heartbreaking watching my Dad just disappear in front of my eyes. Before we lost him he had dropped down to 110 pounds. I hated to watch him suffer, but now that he's gone I can't stand my life without him. I truly hate the idea of moving on with my life without him in it. I guess I'm just looking for some advice about how other people have handled these feelings? I'm getting ready to leave for graduate school in a couple of weeks, but I just can't regain the enthusiasm that I had for it before. I know he's in a better place, and I know I'll see him again..but I just wish he was here. I hate thinking about all the things in my life that he'll miss.

[Christina098red]

I lost my Dad on the 22nd of July after a very long battle with a rare lung disease. He was only 50 years old. I'm 23 and I just graduated from college in May. I still live at home with my parents. My Dad's illness started to get a lot worse at the end of April, so I spent my summer helping my Mom take care of him. It was a horrible roller coaster. We never considered him terminal, even though he was on hospice. We hoped for a recovery until the very end. He did make progress several times, but then would have another episode and get worse. During the last weeks of his life he stayed pretty confused. It was heartbreaking watching my Dad just disappear in front of my eyes. Before we lost him he had dropped down to 110 pounds. I hated to watch him suffer, but now that he's gone I can't stand my life without him. I truly hate the idea of moving on with my life without him in it. I guess I'm just looking for some advice about how other people have handled these feelings? I'm getting ready to leave for graduate school in a couple of weeks, but I just can't regain the enthusiasm that I had for it before. I know he's in a better place, and I know I'll see him again..but I just wish he was here. I hate thinking about all the things in my life that he'll miss.

Hi Hon, I'm so sorry to hear about your close loss. My mom was just recently diagnosed with terminal heart failure. There is no quick, true ease to the pain, only time heals. It will gradually hurt less, although never fully goes away when it's someone so close. The only way is to go straight through grief...and be patient with yourself and family. It's okay to feel how you feel for however long...it's totally normal. You won't always *feel* the same raw pain, but you will always miss him.

I like to think that my loved ones that have passed are like my invisible cheering team...no one can see them, but *I* know they are there rooting for me, sending positive thoughts, and telling me that it will really be okay when things go wrong. I'm sure your dad is still there rooting for you to have a beautiful, long, happy life. When you graduate, I'm sure he will be there standing next to you, a proud papa. When you get you land your first job after college, get married, and have kids....I'm sure your dad will still be by your side crying tears of joy and thankful that he's raised such a great son....and I'm sure when your life is on the down side, like now, that he will be whispering in your ear that it will be okay and he still loves and is connected to you.

Wishing your family peace through the grief--

-Christina