Members MBN Posted August 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 I'm not sure exactly where to post. My son was just barely 18 years old -- on the cusp of adulthood. Not a young child, but hardly grown up yet. He died on June 7 in a car accident. He was with three friends, out for an afternoon of swimming and fishing at an Everglades fish camp on the first day of summer vacation. The driver went a little too fast on the narrow gravel road, skidded, overcorrected, and the car slid off of the narrow shoulder, flipping over into 4 feet of water and muck. Rescuers managed to save the other three who were fine, but my Nathan was trapped for too long and drowned before they could upright the truck and get him out. Up to then, we had lived almost a charmed life -- but that afternoon, everything turned inside out.My friends say that I'm so strong ... that I'm handling it better than they would. I'm not sure what that really means. I have so many things to be be thankful for ... a loving husband, an older son who is doing awesome in college, a loving and supportive family, friends, and church family. We have good jobs and no financial worries. Our relationship with Nathan was awesome, and we had no "unfinished business" there. We did everything for him, we loved him, and knew he loved us. He had a GREAT life, short though it was. I know that Nathan is in heaven and our separation is only temporary. He's in a awesome place -- where we strive all of our lives to go. Yet ... my heart breaks, knowing I won't see him again in this life. We became empty nesters overnight.I do all I can to focus on the positive. I'm systematically working through our home, doing the things I had planned to do when the kids left home -- decluttering, painting and a little re-decorating. It feels good to bring order to the chaos, to take control of my environment. I'm making an inviting place for family and friends to visit, so that we can have a full house as often as possible. I got a rescue adult kitty to love -- something I couldn't do when Nathan was alive due to his severe allergies. I'm active in my church, I work full time. I work out. I try to eat right and get enough sleep. Most of the time, I function well. Sometimes I feel OK inside, and wonder what is wrong with me, that I can get over the grief so soon? And then there are other times when the sadness overtakes me and I wonder if I'll ever truly get over it. Tuesday marked two months since Nathan's death. I'm sitting here at work, unable to focus on what I should be doing. Intellectually, I know I'll be OK. But emotionally sometimes, it seems that the sadness will never end. I trust that time will help and that God has a plan in all of this (although I can't fathom what that is right now).Thanks for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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