Members val Posted August 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 well it is just over a month and my life isn't moving forward except that the extreme grief continues. i cannot sleep; don't want to eat.i come here looking for someone to Chat with and find myself alone a lot. Jerry's things are fine to stay all around my house until the day i die , which i do not care if that is soon or not. i feel so alone, i am so alone. all i do is cry. drink coffee and throw up. please help me get through this dear God and Jerry , you must be seeing me go through this. why why why, i am going to go lay down again and pray for sleep; i just lay there staring at a candle i always have lit in Jerry's name. i sleep with his clothes, hugging his ashes. i am afraid i am losing it. i fear this is too much for one person to bear. help with any support available. please. val Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dpettet Posted August 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 1344589904' post='89740']well it is just over a month and my life isn't moving forward except that the extreme grief continues. i cannot sleep; don't want to eat.i come here looking for someone to Chat with and find myself alone a lot. Jerry's things are fine to stay all around my house until the day i die , which i do not care if that is soon or not. i feel so alone, i am so alone. all i do is cry. drink coffee and throw up. please help me get through this dear God and Jerry , you must be seeing me go through this. why why why, i am going to go lay down again and pray for sleep; i just lay there staring at a candle i always have lit in Jerry's name. i sleep with his clothes, hugging his ashes. i am afraid i am losing it. i fear this is too much for one person to bear. help with any support available. please. val Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dpettet Posted August 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 Val. I am so sorry for your loss. Mu husband died 6 months ago. You mention you have not moved on yet. In my experience moving on is not necessary when it is so new. I started attending grief groups early on and it verified that others felt the same way as I did ans I was not going crazy. It takes so much energy to grieve so if the only thing you do in a day is eat to maintain your energy that is all you need to accomplish in that one day. Some days I just took it one hour at a time. I also reached out to others to keep busy. It helped me keep going. hope this helps. you are not going crazy you are grieving. Take it in baby steps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Foardy Posted August 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 Val I completely iunderstand how you are feeling. I lost my fiance 6 weeks ago after he was hit by a car outside our home. Life feels cruel and pointless at the moment. I try to remember the people who love and care about me when I have dark thoughts. I would not want them to feel the pain I am feeling now. I feel that the way you are feeling is very normal, it is exactly how I feel most days but then some days it seems a little more bearable. I think we have to have patience with ourselves and allow our grief to consume us at times. It is a difficult and overwhelming path ahead but we have to find strengh from somewhere. I often ask myself what would Simon want me to do in this situation, sometimes I know the anser and ignore it but at other times it can be motivating. I am 29 and Simon had just turned 30, we had only 8 years together and there is so much more life ahead of me that I understand how daunting that can look.Please know you are not alone in your grief, we are all grieving and are here to offer whatever support you need.Please look after yourself, All my love,Martin x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cant move on Posted August 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 i sleep with his clothes, hugging his ashes. i am afraid i am losing it.Thanks val. I've never mentioned that I did this with my wife's urn as well cause I thought people would think I was nuts.Let your grief run it's course things will get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members paulaj Posted August 11, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 11, 2012 So sorry for your loss,It's five years later for me and I still sleep with his picture. It brings me comfort. I wish I would have found this site sooner. I was a zombie for two years and still have days that are bad. But at least it's not continual.Sincerely,Mandala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted August 12, 2012 Moderators Report Share Posted August 12, 2012 val, I'm so terribly sorry. I can appreciate the searing anguish you are feeling. I don't know exactly how you feel, of course, but I have been in that ballpark a time or 3 (etc). My initial thought was please, reach out. Whether it's to a trusted friend or relative or grief counseling...something. I think you need to unload in some way or other, to lean on someone. And of course you can post here or PM, chat etc whatever here any time. And I can appreciate not wanting to eat etc but pls try anyway, force yourself if you can (maybe try with some of your favorite "comfort foods" for starters?). Try some of those "Ensure" drinks even. I can appreciate that it's hard, but eating and/or sleeping decently can make a huge diff.If nothing else, realize you need time and lots of it. Thinking of you and hoping/praying for better days........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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