losing my mum

[m-k-t]

Hi all I am new to this forum and was wondering if anyone could help me, my mum passed away suddenly in 2009, it came as a total and utter shock, she was in good health and everything, she was just walking up the street with me, she said she felt dizzy then collapsed in my arms she was only 45 (we later found out it was her heart, her major artery was blocked)

I am finding it hard to say goodbye even now, it still hurts and is still as raw as the day it happened, people have told me to get over it, but how can I?

She was not only my mum, she was my best friend, i miss her soo much.I have nightmares all the time about the day she passed, I cant seem to get through a entire day without shedding a tear, I also blame myself, I feel I could of done more. Am i normal for feeling like this, its making me ill, I want to be a good mother to my kids as she was to me and my sisters I will soon be going to see a grievance counsellor, but wanted to find someone who could understand a little better. sorry for rambling on

any help would be appreciated thanks

[cant move on]

Hi mum. (Been a long time since I've said that). I've had family members pass but not suddenly out of the blue like that. That's rough, and I'm very sorry you had to go through this. I think it's completely normal for you to think that way. We wish we could have done more, so we automatically think we should have done more. Truth is though you probably couldn't have. Seeing a grief counsilor is probably a really smart move to get started. And I think that you are a good mother for realizing you need help. As for rambling that's what this site is for. Can't speak for everyone else but all I ask is that you listen to me ramble on from time to time too. Please keep posting and let us know how you make out as you are now with people who really do care about you. And we understand the hurt.

[georgie713]

My mom died suddenly on 2008. I was the one to find her. I can't explain what that discovery did to me. I can't say I have gotten over it. I don't think that will ever happen. I still have very bad days. Sometimes out of the blue it will just hit me...she's not coming back. Each time this happens it is like a punch in the face and the ripping out of me heart. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I have often wondered what is harder watching the one you love slowly die or having it happen out if the blue. I don't know the answer except they both seriously suck. time doesn't make it better it just teaches us how to deal with our loss. One thing I noticed when my mom died is all the people that came to share their loss of a parent could barely control their own tears even those whose parents died decades ago. My point is don't be hard on yourself ther are a lot more people out there struggling like you than you realize. You are not crazy and you are not alone.

[m-k-t]

thankyou im glad that im not alone in feeling like this I thankyou both from the bottom of my heart for replying back your messages have been truly comforting to me I am sorry for your loss too