Members paintedinflames Posted August 4, 2012 Members Report Share Posted August 4, 2012 hi...i lost my dad very suddenly on july 12th, just a few weeks ago. i'm 21 and moved out when i was 19 because i was always fighting with my dad and we hadn't gotten along during my last few years of high school. after i moved out, i only saw him four or five times between that time and the time i got the call from my sister telling me he was in the hospital. after that, i drove probably forty miles round trip every day to see him in the hospital, but he was so out of it i'm not sure he even knew who i was. i kissed him and told him i loved him every time i came and went, but i don't know if it even made a difference. the doctors told my mother that there wasn't anything they could do for him, just about a week after he'd been admitted to the hospital. the meds they were giving him were the only thing keeping him alive. so my mom made the decision to stop the meds, because she knew my dad wouldn't want to live like that. from the time they stopped treatment to the time he passed, was about five hours. i sat there for five hours and watched him die. it is an image i've been having trouble getting out of my head, and i keep dreaming about him. i keep feeling guilty that i wasn't there for him as much as i should have been. i don't know what to do. i can't change what's happened, but i don't like feeling this way. i want to be able to remember the good times i had with my dad, not just the last a few years, where both of us were just too stubborn to try and make amends. all i can do when i think of him now is cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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