almost a year since he died

[tkrx5rn]

Because of the way things happened and the gross negligence of the hospital, I had all of these thoughts about the way he died from liver cancer in my head, to ease the pain of thinking about these all of the time, I wrote the sequence of events in an online blog. It worked to help me keep from thinking about it all the time

and wondering if there was something I could have done to prevent his death. Sometimes I feel betrayed because he waited for me to notice that something was wrong and to make an appointment for him. By then it was too late. Our children do not understand why I feel this way, but my sister told them that it was a coping

mechanism. Next month will be 1 year since he left us and this whole year has been nothing but problems. When I mentioned that he was more trouble to me in death than in life, they jumped all over me. I am done crying, I do not want to go that route anymore, so I do not even think about him. We were married 37 years

and I just have to put it out of my mind to keep from succumbing to tears again.

[paulaj]

Dear VivanJ58,

My husband died from a rare liver disease under horrific circumstances. I will write to you privately, when I have more time. I have an appointment I have to get ready.

Sincerely,

Mandala