Missing my Mom

[Sheila516]

Hi. My Mom passed away July 11, 2012. She had been sick for a year. She had lung and throat cancer. She fought hard went through radiation, Chemo was not an option. She just turned 80 June 5. I have been her caregiver since 2002 when she had a stroke. The start of dementia after the stroke. We had to place her in a nursing home in May and I regret it so very much. I miss her so much. I love her so much. She was and is my best friend. I miss her voice, her hug, her touch just everything. I'm trying so hard to keep it together for my Dad who is 81. I wasn't there when she passed. I had gone home to take care of my grandson. Hospice told me that they were pretty sure she had a few more days just that morning. She died that afternoon. I regret that I wasn't there with her. I am thankful my Dad was. There is a huge hole that I can't get through. I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense. thanks. Sheila

[Daffodilfun]

It is always hard to lose someone you love, especially a mother that you have been so close to. I know you have regrets, questions, etc. but these are normal reactions. I told mom that I would never put her in a nursing home and when I did (which I had to) my heart broke and the guilt I felt was unbelivable.

Not being there when she died must have been hard for you but I am pretty sure that your mom thought it was more important for you to be with your grandson at that time instead of being there for her. She cared that much.

Being there for your dad it good, but you have to remember to take the time to grieve for yourself. It is OK to cry and scream.

Somedays will be overpowering, but remember that we are here for you. Write often and tell us how you are doing.

Sally