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Not sure what to do..........


mayshowers

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Hey all, I'm really new to this so bear with me. Recently we just recieved the news that my father-in-law has a bone marrow cancer that has advanced so far that there is no treatment for it. Too far for bone marrow or stem cell transplants. It wasn't really completely unexpected that he had something wrong with him. He's been in and out of the hospital for over a year now, having to get frequent blood transfusions, and going to all kinds of "specialists". It was just now that they finally realized that there was something wrong with him.

My problem isn't with me, and my dealings with grief. I'm very worried about my husband. He is soo depressed right now (of course it doesn't help that he hasn't taken his antidepressants lateley either!!!) I can't get him to talk to me, or even a counselor to help him deal with his problems. He is sleeping all the time, cries, shuts down, snapping at our children for stupid things. I feel like I'm living with a zombie. I'm just afraid that if he is like this now, and his dad is still alive, what is he going to be like when his dad does pass away???? It also doesn't help that he's never really had to deal with losing someone this close before. He's in his mid-30's and has only 2 family members die, but he wasn't really really close to them like he is with his dad.

Any ideas on how I can get him to open up and deal with his emotions/problems would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey all, I'm really new to this so bear with me. Recently we just recieved the news that my father-in-law has a bone marrow cancer that has advanced so far that there is no treatment for it. Too far for bone marrow or stem cell transplants. It wasn't really completely unexpected that he had something wrong with him. He's been in and out of the hospital for over a year now, having to get frequent blood transfusions, and going to all kinds of "specialists". It was just now that they finally realized that there was something wrong with him.

My problem isn't with me, and my dealings with grief. I'm very worried about my husband. He is soo depressed right now (of course it doesn't help that he hasn't taken his antidepressants lateley either!!!) I can't get him to talk to me, or even a counselor to help him deal with his problems. He is sleeping all the time, cries, shuts down, snapping at our children for stupid things. I feel like I'm living with a zombie. I'm just afraid that if he is like this now, and his dad is still alive, what is he going to be like when his dad does pass away???? It also doesn't help that he's never really had to deal with losing someone this close before. He's in his mid-30's and has only 2 family members die, but he wasn't really really close to them like he is with his dad.

Any ideas on how I can get him to open up and deal with his emotions/problems would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Mayshowers,

Continue to just talk to your husband and let him know you are there for him. In the meantime, do you talk to your father in law? Does he know how much you both love him?

Have you talked to you husband about being supportive and encouraging of his father and giving him the extra help he will need? Will that help him to deal with this any better? Is he working?

Many people deal with a loved one's terminal illness by getting angry, denial, crying, but then when it happens they process that loss and are able to move forward.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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