Life is hard

[Mdanielson4]

Life is hard, living it alone seems impossible. I tried to call a support group today, it being saturday nobody answered. Don't know if I will have the courage to try again. Seems like I have to hit that low spot to come up with the courage to do anything these days. I sure wish my kids lived close by. I am glad they are getting through this though. I don't want to make things harder for them so when they call I don't like to bring up the bad things. Not sure where to turn.

Mike

[dmbarr]

Hi Mike, if you would like someone to talk to or to cry with please call me. private message me for my number. I need someone to talk to. No one understands what I am going through.

[widower2]

Mike, gw: I know it might sound like some pat answer but I urge you both to give some kind of counseling or therapy a try. And if one doesn't work, try another if available (I had to do this and so glad I didn't quit after a bad first one - the second was much better). It can be group or possibly 1 on 1 if offered. You're worth the effort. Pls remember that.

[dmbarr]

I don't want to do that and do not have the money for it. I have a nephew who is a counselor if I need anything I can text him. Just talkig through it with friends is helping. Yes I still have the pain and I probably always will but no one is going to get rich off me.

[widower2]

I don't want to do that and do not have the money for it. I have a nephew who is a counselor if I need anything I can text him. Just talkig through it with friends is helping. Yes I still have the pain and I probably always will but no one is going to get rich off me.

No problem, but just FYI many such services are free. This is quite different from your typical psychologist/psychiatrist FYI and a grief counselor is quite different from someone who is some other type of counselor. At least in my experience. Not trying to push it again just FYI....

[widower2]

(duplicate post - danged internet connection)

[val]

i just went to church for the first time alone without my husband. it was quite emotional for me. Lit a candle and talked to some of the other parishoners. Now, i've come home and turned the TV on for the first time since Jerry passed July 5. Yes, life is hard. and without my spouse so much the harder. I do see a therapist, grief counselor, and that helps a little. Most of my support comes from the people I work with and support groups. Hope you give the support group another try. warm regards, val

Life is hard, living it alone seems impossible. I tried to call a support group today, it being saturday nobody answered. Don't know if I will have the courage to try again. Seems like I have to hit that low spot to come up with the courage to do anything these days. I sure wish my kids lived close by. I am glad they are getting through this though. I don't want to make things harder for them so when they call I don't like to bring up the bad things. Not sure where to turn.

Mike

[Mdanielson4]

i just went to church for the first time alone without my husband. it was quite emotional for me. Lit a candle and talked to some of the other parishoners. Now, i've come home and turned the TV on for the first time since Jerry passed July 5. Yes, life is hard. and without my spouse so much the harder. I do see a therapist, grief counselor, and that helps a little. Most of my support comes from the people I work with and support groups. Hope you give the support group another try. warm regards, val

Val, I'm glad you went to church, seems every step we take is very difficult. Many who have not went through what we have, they don't understand. many who find out what we have gone through shy away and don't know how to respond. When people do help or show love and concern I feel I am imposing on their lives and feel I am cheating them from time with their own family. Time with family and loved ones is precious, it is hard for me to accept help at times. I try because I know I need help, but then I feel guilty. Some of the councilers are so fake, and by the book which when I see through that it makes me not want to go back. Some don't specialize in grief and I don't want to waste their time nor mine. Some people are genuine and I feel comfortable talking with them. I just have to find the right support and cherrish it. Val you can call, text, e-mail what ever makes you comfortable to me and I will do my best to help. I think I find more healing power helping others with some of my experiences then I ever thought I would. It helps to talk to people that are going through the same thing. I believe I will be calling the local support groups again. This group has helped me find some confidence.

Mike

[csimms3]

Mike, I can relate to a lot of what you have said on this forum. I feel like I am suffering in silence because I don't want to worry or bother my family. When they call I tell them that I am fine but in reality I am on anti-depressants and unable to sleep. I have a really great friend who helps me talk through a lot of my feelings and I am grateful for her, but she has not gone through something like this herself and doesn't seem to understand all of my feelings. I feel guilty when I talk to her about my issues and also feel as though I am imposing on her life and marriage when she spends time with me. When I do need to be with somebody, because the pain is so unbearable, I don't reach out because I don't want to impose on her life anymore than I already have. It's hard when you feel like you don't belong anywhere anymore. I have had counseling at my church. I appreciate that this counselor is trying to help me, but she doesn't seem to understand my feelings because she hasn't lost someone close to her like I have. I have an appointment with a grief counselor this week. I am hoping it helps me.

[Mdanielson4]

Angela,

I have no doubt people would drop what they are doing and come running but I just wouldn't feel right. Others say you can't do this yourself. Not sure what to do???

[tkrx5rn]

I absolutely cannot bring myself to go to the church we went to, my late husband had been the pastor there. The people who took over treat our whole family as if we were the enemy. It has been almost a year but I cannot go there.

[csimms3]

I have a best friend who would drop anything to be there for me and I appreciate it. But sometimes I need help with practical things and my brother-in-law gets mad when I don't ask for help. I just feel like they have their own things to do. I have never been the type to ask for help. Maybe it's something I need to learn. Saw my counsellor for the first time a few days ago. She said when you are going through grief you have to make things about yourself. She said be selfish and do the things that you want to do. If someone is willing to listen to you cry or vent, take that opportunity. I gathered some courage the other day and told a few of my family members how I am really doing and they took it well. Maybe your family would surprise you.

Angela,

I have no doubt people would drop what they are doing and come running but I just wouldn't feel right. Others say you can't do this yourself. Not sure what to do???