His Birthday is Today

[ebo725]

I didn't think today would be so bad. Today is my dad's birthday and this the first one I wasn't with him or at the least talk to him.It's been hard for the past 2 years watching him suffer so when I feel like this I feel guilty b/c I know he isn't in pain anymore. Today I don't even know how to handle myself. I feel like everybody around me world has continued on and mine is on a stand still with all this pain. I feel like I have no one to talk because they don't umderstand. They all think I'm ok and doing good but really I am miserable. I think about negative things and I'm just angry hurt. I usually can handle my emotions but this is something unreal to me something that I really can't express how I feel. I just want.to.curl up and get away.from everybody cause the fact they have good days or complain about meaningless things is beginning to piss me off and I don't want to feel like this......I just want this ache to go away

[BreathofAngel]

I didn't think today would be so bad. Today is my dad's birthday and this the first one I wasn't with him or at the least talk to him.It's been hard for the past 2 years watching him suffer so when I feel like this I feel guilty b/c I know he isn't in pain anymore. Today I don't even know how to handle myself. I feel like everybody around me world has continued on and mine is on a stand still with all this pain. I feel like I have no one to talk because they don't umderstand. They all think I'm ok and doing good but really I am miserable. I think about negative things and I'm just angry hurt. I usually can handle my emotions but this is something unreal to me something that I really can't express how I feel. I just want.to.curl up and get away.from everybody cause the fact they have good days or complain about meaningless things is beginning to piss me off and I don't want to feel like this......I just want this ache to go away

Dearest (((((((Ebo))))))), First of all, Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you came here to speak about what is heavy in your heart and please know that we are here to speak to you and bring comfort at this most important time.

I am very sorry for the physical loss of your Dad. I know feeling the hurt that always follows is a difficult process to contend with. I have been there myself. And you are correct in that your Dad is beyond pain now and has graduated into a world where he is pain-free, thanks to God. I'm sorry to hear that you have unfortunately taken on pain in this process, dear one, and it is time to rest and heal. Yes, there are unfortunately many who indeed do not understand about loss and the pain that follows, that is, until they are in your shoes and then it suddenly hits them like a lead balloon!

You need some peace and comfort right now the most. One way to obtain that is by reading The Word of God which is Truth which brings peace itself and can be a balm of healing unto one's aching soul. Spending quiet moments in prayer and meditation are also most comforting! Also, you may wish to consider good music that is uplifting and spiritual which can do wonders like it does for me when I get caught up in the moment of grieving.

Since it is your Dad's birthday, one of the best gifts you can offer to him are your prayers! God listens to those who pray for others and when one passes-on, when someone prays for them it helps to elevate them spiritually.

I hope and pray that you are able to have the peace and comfort that you deserve in light of what you are going through and that people whom you interact with will be more understanding of your situation and will reach out, from the heart, to be more supportive instead of resorting to the self which can only serve to alienate one who needs fellowship especially at this point in time.

May God Bless You and comfort you, dearheart, and surround you with His healing and many blessings! You Are Loved!!