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OK life, I'm rather sick of these "punishments"


widower2

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Warning, not a cheery thread:

I know some of you can relate to this in one way or other. A really nice and fun group of people I know gathered at a local place to see this sort of 50s dance group, beach music, that kind of thing. Just a nice casual lighthearted night out. Perfect right? So I go thinking wow I need to get out and this sounds great. So I go and it hits me that I haven't danced since my loved one's son's wedding some 2 yrs ago - and I look at the dance floor and it's exactly the kind of band we would go see, and I keep seeing her and I out there, and realizing all the times she was with me and I didn't really appreciate her, and on and on it goes....long story short I wasn't very sociable as I'm just trying to maintain and finally have to give up and go. SO damn frustrated, it was this rare gathering of people I like and are really fun to be with, but could I simply have this little break from life and all this grief and have one simple nice fun night out? Noooooo, life hates me far too much for such a simple request and of course decides instead to put the screws to me once again. DAMN I am sick of that.

Sorry all. I just had to let that out before I scream. I know I don't deserve a lot but cmon.

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cant move on

I know how you feel I've tried to go places we use to frequent, and just had to leave. It feels like c@#p cause I used to really enjoy these things and would like to again. I guess it just takes time, that's what I hope anyways.

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Widower2,

No need to apologize for your message. i can understand your frustration at not being able to enjoy a night out with friends you enjoy and catch a little break. It's hell when every time we try to break free from the pain, something reminds us of our loved one and we get zapped again.

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Thanks to you both. I'm just so tired of feeling miserable and one heap of it on top of another, while I see others merrily flitting around to boot. Not that I wish anything less for them, but am I such a horrible person that I deserve all this?

Oh and I got laid off last week. Yay, more fun. See what I mean.......

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