Members lostsoul2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 Hi All,I don't know even where to begin. I am at rock bottom and its coming close to the first anniversary of 61 year old dad's death and I can't cope.My Dad slipped away from us one Friday evening on the golf course, his second love. My parents were the two most in love people I have ever come across. My dad worshipped my Mom and from an early age she even admitted that wrongly all she wanted was him and isolated herself a bit. While obviously my heart aches for my dad my stomach also churns at the thought of my mom living out her days alone, without her soulmate, her best friend,her provider and the father to her two daughters. Life just doesn't seem one bit fair. Sorry if this sounds like a poor me rant but things have just gotten so bad I've had to turn to this forum. I was a 26 year old female living in a cosmopoilitan city enjoying life as best i could and trying to get over my own break up after 6 years together with who I thought was the love of my life...that was 2011....fast forward a year, I'm 27, still living in the city, working in a job I hate, gained 10kgs, no motivation, still getting over the break up and trying to fix the hole in my heart where my Dad died. I have turned my back on everyone, I'm angry, very angry and times feel I could snap. I just want my Dad back when life was simple, everyone was happy. Not this the way it is now. I don't sleep, I have nightmares when I do, I have dreams that hes still here and then find myself waking up sobbing cause he's not. I imagine how cold the graveyeard must be for him. Did the heart attack hurt? What was the last thing he thought of? Why did this have to happen to us? If anyone can give me some advice I would really appreciate this because right now I feel like nobody knows pain like this...Thank you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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