Members RazorSharpRedhead Posted July 17, 2012 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 So upon giving it some thought....I've decided to share with you the Top Three Stupidest Things that people have said to me over the past few months since my mom has passed away: 3. "This isn't so bad. You lost your mom. We're ~supposed~ to lose our parents. ~I~ lost my sister and my best friend." - said by my Aunt when we were picking out my moms clothes for the funeral. 2. "At least you weren't used to seeing her every day." - said by someone who was trying to prove that my pain was't as great as her own. 1. "She's in a better place" - said by ...well...a LOT of people. I'm not sad because of where she is - I'm sad because of where she ~isn't~. I'm 35....I lost my mom far too early in life. It's been 3 months since my moms passing. She had kidney cancer and was sick for a year. After failed surgeries and treatments, they told her she had 9 months to a year and she passed away 3 months after that prediction. We didn't have the time we thought we thought we would. She knew she was 'Going Home' (this is what she demanded we call it) on Easter morning. She called us each in and spoke to us the things she felt she really needed to say. She slipped into a coma-like-state Easter evening and passed 4 days after that. On day 3, I just knew in my heart that she was ready to let go. She was hurting, uncomfortable and tired of it all. So after everyone else left, I took her hand and I told her that it was OK. I promised her that I would look after my brother and my dad and I would do my best to take on the very best parts of who she was to so many people. This next part of my story is what haunts me to my core. While I was talking to my mom, she was unable to speak or open her eyes. But she was able to lift her arms and make sounds. While I was telilng her it was OK to slip away, she was lifting her arms to me and moaning. She was trying to say something. Of course the easy answer is 'She was thanking me', 'She was telling me it was OK'....but there's also the logical, realistic side of me that wonders 'What if she was telling me she wasn't ready to go?' This was the last interaction I had with my mom. She passed away just hours after I said those things to her. Just the pain of NOT KNOWING what she was trying to say to me will haunt me for the rest of my life. We can all sit here and guess - but I'll never know. How do you deal with that? Within 2 weeks of my moms passing we had to 'Celebrate' my daughters birthday, my birthday, my anniversary and Mothers Day.How do you deal with the anger you feel when people who are trying to comfort just screw it all up and make it worse? How do you ask for help when you don't know what you need? What do you do when all of your friends stop asking how you are.....because it's THEN that you really need them to ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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