Loss of adult son

[jmb]

Just signed up for this group so new to this. I lost my 35 year old son on April 18th of this year. It was an accident. He ran into a bridge abutment. The grief is still horrific. I get angry, then so so sad. Need to share.

[mysonrich]

Hello Jmb, and welcome. I am so sorry for your loss. Please tell us about your son. What is his name? Yes, the grief is horrific and many times you may feel that no one understands , that you are alone in this living nightmare. Know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, share. There is no judgment here. Say whatever you wish. Don't worry if you feel that it doesn't make sense. Its ok. Nothing makes sense after the death of a child. My son, Rich, died on January 18,2009 from cardiac dysrhythmia, a anomaly of his heart artery was found.. He attended a concert and had a great time. He went to sleep that early morning after his friends left and never woke up. Anger? I was very angry for a long time. Sometimes it still rears its ugly head. I have leaned to control it.( most of the time) If you come over to Loss of an Adult child thread, there are many kind,compassionate,wise people to share with. Post pictures of your son. Tell us of his life.

[mdujardin]

I am new to this as well. I lost my son June 14th, he was 21. I'm devastated and missing him so much.

A friend of a friend recommended this site to me, advising me it would be helpful.

[westleysmom]

jmb and mdujardin-I'm so sorry for your losses. My son Westley died January 13, 2010 in his sleep at a friend's house. It is the worst loss I've ever experienced as you both have sadly found. I don't post as much as I used to, but usually go straight to Loss of Adult Child to post. There is a lot of support and friendship there, people who have had losses like ours and understand. My heart to you both.

[tantraman8]

I lost my son, Josh, on April25th of this year. He was the eldest of my four, and in his 30's. But, for me, no matter what adult age, it feels like I lost one of my babies. There have been times, since Josh passed, where I have felt hopeful, loved, taken care of by God and other times where I felt so much pain and emptiness that I wished I were not on "the planet." Whomever, posted that this is "the worst loss" accurately describes how I feel. Josh, struggled with addiction, had six years of sobriety, relapsed, got back on track, and relapsed again. When he died, I don't believe that was his intent. I know there were many things he was looking forward to in the upcoming months.

I came on here today, hoping to be inspired, because this loss is SO HEAVY.

I've entered the chat room, hoping to "talk" with others.... but I'm always the only one. I believe God's will is for me to heal into a life that has even greater joy, and peace, and abundance than ever before, but as of now, this is one day at a time. Time has been altered for me. I have no idea how or when the pain and loneliness will lessen. I know I'm doing the best that I can with this. But, the darkness of this loss feels endless.

[mdujardin]

I'm so sorry for you too. I know what you're feeling. It's so hard sometimes. People describe it as a roller coaster. I describe it as an anchor. Every day I force myself to do the things I used to do. I force myself to go to work and to the gym and to the store. I'm exhausted of pushing forward and forcing myself to do these things but I scared of being pulled under by this anchor. It's paralyzing. I'm numb. I'm sick. I'm tired. Im lost. I'm powerless to this grief.