Grief and Trauma

[paulaj]

I'm grateful I found this forum. The experiences of others and writing about this, has helped immensely. During the past five years, I have attended conferences on grief and many on trauma. I have not received any notice of a training that combined the two. I took a brief look at the professional literature this morning, and it is a relatively new research topic. There are mentions about being traumatized by death of another and trauma in children. Of course, trauma in veterans, where the research began. Vets were one of the only groups described with PTSD that preceded a loss. This looks like an area of relatively new research.

Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees. I know I have PTSD for a number of reasons, but I never gave too much thought about how PTSD and bereavement were interacting. I kept them in separate compartments. No wonder my therapy was going nowhere. The therapists I saw were specialists in one topic or the other. I just love being on the cutting edge of some condition that nobody knows much about!!

I wonder about other mental illnesses. Anybody else have any experiences with this?

Thanks,

Mandala

[ModKonnie]

Hi Mandala,

I am a substance abuse counselor, and I deal with many people who have abused substances to try to numb themselves because of a loss. Many of them display similar characteristics of people who have suffered PTSD. It is an interesting topic and the relationship between the two is certainly worth researching.

What do you mean when you say "other mental illnesses?" Do you mean grief and depression, or grief and bipolar, or PTSD and mental illness? I am certainly no expert, but I see all kinds of combinations in my work at a women's prison, although my program treats for substance abuse primarily.

ModKonnie

[paulaj]

Hi ModKonnie,

I am a licensed social worker with another state license in substance abuse. The last stats I read on dual and complex diagnoses in addicts, although I can't remember numbers offhand, bipolar disorder # 1, PTSD #2,. I don't know where you are, I'm in MA, but since the number of dual and complex diagnoses among addicts is something like 80 - 90% treatment for both disorders occurs simultaneously. What I mean by "other mental illnesses"" could be grief and bipolar, PTSD, schizophrenia, almost anything in the DSM IV. Wherever you're working, it's a tall order. Many people abuse substances to self-medicate an underlying mental disorder and end up addicted.. If the mental disorder is not treated as well, it can be a potent relapse trigger. Of course, research topics have to be narrowed down.

Are you sure the clients who display characteristics of PTSD don't actually have the disorder? I'm guessing you have limited resources to work with. Dept. of Corrections here is the most screwed up system of them all. I used to work outpatient and some clients were either mandated or just released. Or on their way back in unfortunately. From what I understand, working behind the walls is tough. Gpd bless you.

Love and Peace,

Mandala

[Daniele]

Hello,

I am new here. My husband died four years ago from a rupture of aneurysm. He died while I had fallen asleep, that leaves a window of two hours approximately. We were a beautiful family. Carl and I had been married for 25 years, soul mates and all. When Carl died, Our sons were 18,21 and 22. During two years, I was unable to function normally, until my youngest son started to become verbally abusing with me, he was totally out of control. One sad thing leading to another, I made the decision to listen to his desire to take his distance. At the time, we lived in New york. I was not in good shape, I needed medical care, I had no money, I decided to come back to France (I am a French citizen). My children stayed in New York.

All my friends had moved on (we had been away for 12 years). At first, they invited me at their houses, they even helped me get settled and rent an apartment. I was poor. My three boys were working but did not make enough money to take care of themselves and help me. Carl was my obsession, I could not think about anything else, I was scared to death, literally. I contacted a therapist I had in New York who offered to "see" me on Skype once a week for free. It did not take long for her (who knew me well already) to realize the interaction of PTSD I had been suffering since my childhood and the mourning of my husband. Now it has been one year and a half since I settled in Paris. I took some work over the internet, the same therapist follows me twice a week at the price of 5$ the 45 minutes.

The work is very slow. I was very sociable, I am now afraid to be in a crowd for more than a moment but I have hope and faith. I feel terribly lonely most of the time but the people who know me say I am a survivor. I want to believe it.

Thank you for receiving my words.

[paulaj]

Hi Daniele,

I think we are all survivors. There is a controversy on what constitutes *complicated bereavement" and consequently the treatment. I can't find agreement on what point grieving becomes complicated. Is grief a medical condition? Culturally we have sanitized death, and there is pressure to "get on with it" afterward/ Having any co-existing condition can prolong the process.t. I think the process takes as long as it takes and it differs for everyone. You are lucky to find a savvy therapist. Trauma work is known to be slow. Add grief to the process and it can be more of a challenge. I started asking many questions, since I found this group. It's taken me five years to get this far,but I'm feeling better since I've signed on. Whatever works!

Love,

Mandala

[lreneterry]

Mandala:

My daughter has decided to go counseling. She was tested for PTSD. The counselor said that she self reported symptoms that are classed as PTSD after her Dad's death but that she no longer falls into that diagnosis. She is being "treated" for grief/bereavement. The counselor we found is allowing her to work thru her grief in a non-destructive way instead of treating her with drugs and whatever psychological psychobabble is the current standard. After reading your post I'm glad that we got a counselor that recognized the possibility of a double diagnosis. I hope that my son decides to go to counseling and that he also finds a counselor that is of this mind set.

Hmm, thought train derailed! OH!

It is easy to miss a diagnosis during grief/bereavement because it is all encompassing of your life. I feel horrible that I didn't recognize that she was going thru more than grief, that she had so much more going on in her mind right then. We know now and she is getting the treatment that she needs.

Keep posting we are listening.

lost in time...

[paulaj]

Dear lost in time,

I'm really happy you found a good therapist. Sometimes people show the attributes of a disorder, but it can be situational, not a permanent condition. However, it still needs to be addressed. I appears as though your daughter's treatment is working. Wonderful!

Sincerely,

Mandala