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[tayl232]

Hi, my daughter passed away almost five years ago on Aug. 19th. She was being abused physically and emotionally by her husband and when she walked in on him trying to suffocate their two year old daughter because she was crying at night she finally left him. This started a war between her and him. He knew how much their daughter meant to her so he would use the child against her. Not returning her when he should. Then he would turn on the charm and try to get her back. Sending flowers, jewelry, buying her clothes etc. When he realized she wasn't coming back it got extremely ugly. He tried to run her off the road. Her daughter was in the car with her. Pulled a gun on her. Broke her car window trying to get in. However, his story was always different, She had 4 DCFS cases against him and got a protective order against him, which he broke hundreds of times. That didn't stop him. He would lie to the cops and tell them she was sleeping with a bunch of people, on drugs etc. When she went to the cops because he broke the protective order they treated her so bad she didn't want to go back. I would insist and go with her. To make a long story short she was on an anti depressant, sleeping pills, and anxiety meds. One day a mutual friend of her and her husband needed a ride. She ended up injesting .20 grams of methodone (only 115 lbs girl) Her 3 1/2 year old daughter at the time tells the story that Heidi made her take it. Held her down and made her take them. Needless to say when she went to bed the sleeping pill mixed with the methodone put her to sleep and she didn't wake up. She had a blood sugar level of a 7. It was interesting that 2 weeks after her husbands current girlfriend went to the police and told them that the day before my daughter passed away that my daughters husband kicked her out of the house and stole her insulin. He told her that he was going to kill my daughter. Of course, by then there was no evidence because they didn't treat it as a homicide, they treated it as a accidental death. Then of course going on five years the battle of adopting my grand daughter. My husband and I got custody of our grand daughter immediately. She happened to be staying with us the night her mother passed away. She has been with us ever since. We just wrapped up the adoption and everything the end of May. However, it is bitter sweet. She is the complete image of her mother it is almost like I am raising my daughter all over again. Which is hard but amazing. however, I believe that I haven't really talked through it all. That is where this forum comes in. Our lawyer swears that my daughter's husband killed her because of something he said to her. However, I have been so busy adjusting to my anger, frustration, and sadness that I am finally able to talk about it. It is so hard to talk to people that know you because you don't want them to tell others because i have a protective order against him. So that is why I looked up a forum. That way everything is anonymous. Help if any one has some advice that would benefit my situation. I think the justice system screwed up and nothing can be done for that but if I could somehow find peace in all this and be able to move on that would be great! i now feel like I am in a position to work on me and my grief.

[BrendaDup59]

Hi, my daughter passed away almost five years ago on Aug. 19th. She was being abused physically and emotionally by her husband and when she walked in on him trying to suffocate their two year old daughter because she was crying at night she finally left him. This started a war between her and him. He knew how much their daughter meant to her so he would use the child against her. Not returning her when he should. Then he would turn on the charm and try to get her back. Sending flowers, jewelry, buying her clothes etc. When he realized she wasn't coming back it got extremely ugly. He tried to run her off the road. Her daughter was in the car with her. Pulled a gun on her. Broke her car window trying to get in. However, his story was always different, She had 4 DCFS cases against him and got a protective order against him, which he broke hundreds of times. That didn't stop him. He would lie to the cops and tell them she was sleeping with a bunch of people, on drugs etc. When she went to the cops because he broke the protective order they treated her so bad she didn't want to go back. I would insist and go with her. To make a long story short she was on an anti depressant, sleeping pills, and anxiety meds. One day a mutual friend of her and her husband needed a ride. She ended up injesting .20 grams of methodone (only 115 lbs girl) Her 3 1/2 year old daughter at the time tells the story that Heidi made her take it. Held her down and made her take them. Needless to say when she went to bed the sleeping pill mixed with the methodone put her to sleep and she didn't wake up. She had a blood sugar level of a 7. It was interesting that 2 weeks after her husbands current girlfriend went to the police and told them that the day before my daughter passed away that my daughters husband kicked her out of the house and stole her insulin. He told her that he was going to kill my daughter. Of course, by then there was no evidence because they didn't treat it as a homicide, they treated it as a accidental death. Then of course going on five years the battle of adopting my grand daughter. My husband and I got custody of our grand daughter immediately. She happened to be staying with us the night her mother passed away. She has been with us ever since. We just wrapped up the adoption and everything the end of May. However, it is bitter sweet. She is the complete image of her mother it is almost like I am raising my daughter all over again. Which is hard but amazing. however, I believe that I haven't really talked through it all. That is where this forum comes in. Our lawyer swears that my daughter's husband killed her because of something he said to her. However, I have been so busy adjusting to my anger, frustration, and sadness that I am finally able to talk about it. It is so hard to talk to people that know you because you don't want them to tell others because i have a protective order against him. So that is why I looked up a forum. That way everything is anonymous. Help if any one has some advice that would benefit my situation. I think the justice system screwed up and nothing can be done for that but if I could somehow find peace in all this and be able to move on that would be great! i now feel like I am in a position to work on me and my grief.

Hi, I am so sorry to read about your daughter, but I think you will find more help if you post on the forum Loss of an adult child if you go to that forum and just pick the Add Reply , and tell your story there. I hope someone will be able to help you .I just lost my 32 year old son to a motorcycle accident in March , on St. Patrick's Day , I do hope you will go there . Take Care Brenda

[Jeff's Mom]

Hi, my daughter passed away almost five years ago on Aug. 19th. She was being abused physically and emotionally by her husband and when she walked in on him trying to suffocate their two year old daughter because she was crying at night she finally left him. This started a war between her and him. He knew how much their daughter meant to her so he would use the child against her. Not returning her when he should. Then he would turn on the charm and try to get her back. Sending flowers, jewelry, buying her clothes etc. When he realized she wasn't coming back it got extremely ugly. He tried to run her off the road. Her daughter was in the car with her. Pulled a gun on her. Broke her car window trying to get in. However, his story was always different, She had 4 DCFS cases against him and got a protective order against him, which he broke hundreds of times. That didn't stop him. He would lie to the cops and tell them she was sleeping with a bunch of people, on drugs etc. When she went to the cops because he broke the protective order they treated her so bad she didn't want to go back. I would insist and go with her. To make a long story short she was on an anti depressant, sleeping pills, and anxiety meds. One day a mutual friend of her and her husband needed a ride. She ended up injesting .20 grams of methodone (only 115 lbs girl) Her 3 1/2 year old daughter at the time tells the story that Heidi made her take it. Held her down and made her take them. Needless to say when she went to bed the sleeping pill mixed with the methodone put her to sleep and she didn't wake up. She had a blood sugar level of a 7. It was interesting that 2 weeks after her husbands current girlfriend went to the police and told them that the day before my daughter passed away that my daughters husband kicked her out of the house and stole her insulin. He told her that he was going to kill my daughter. Of course, by then there was no evidence because they didn't treat it as a homicide, they treated it as a accidental death. Then of course going on five years the battle of adopting my grand daughter. My husband and I got custody of our grand daughter immediately. She happened to be staying with us the night her mother passed away. She has been with us ever since. We just wrapped up the adoption and everything the end of May. However, it is bitter sweet. She is the complete image of her mother it is almost like I am raising my daughter all over again. Which is hard but amazing. however, I believe that I haven't really talked through it all. That is where this forum comes in. Our lawyer swears that my daughter's husband killed her because of something he said to her. However, I have been so busy adjusting to my anger, frustration, and sadness that I am finally able to talk about it. It is so hard to talk to people that know you because you don't want them to tell others because i have a protective order against him. So that is why I looked up a forum. That way everything is anonymous. Help if any one has some advice that would benefit my situation. I think the justice system screwed up and nothing can be done for that but if I could somehow find peace in all this and be able to move on that would be great! i now feel like I am in a position to work on me and my grief.

Welcome...I am so sorry for your loss. You will find it a long hard process in working through this grief.. But rest assured that everyone that is here will never judge you or find fault. We are all going through the same painful process. The last two lines of your post really hit home. I hope you will feel comfortable in talking about your daughter as the special person she was in your life. Take care.

Kate

[tayl232]

Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate the thoughts. It is a long hard process. It's like one step forward and two or more steps backward. I appreciate the fact that no one will judge or find fault. A lot of the secrecy isn't because I am afraid someone will find fault but people talking and blowing things out of proportion. You know how that goes. It happened early on after my daughter passed away. All kinds of rumors surfaced which were totally bogus. It was easier to try to keep it away from people which means that you hold it in.

My daughter was a wonderful girl and an even better mother to my beautiful grand daughter. I love her dearly. We were extremely close. Her death was and still is unbearable at times. Thanks again!

Welcome...I am so sorry for your loss. You will find it a long hard process in working through this grief.. But rest assured that everyone that is here will never judge you or find fault. We are all going through the same painful process. The last two lines of your post really hit home. I hope you will feel comfortable in talking about your daughter as the special person she was in your life. Take care.

Kate