Just joined your group

[SusanG]

I lost my daughter Marisa, who was 42, almost 4 months ago. She died of a traumatic brain injury, apparently after slipping in a hotel bathroom. It happened in New Jersey. I am not convinced there wasn't a boyfriend involved but the police say he has an alibi - but i kind of wonder if they are holding back information from us. At first they were really gung ho that he had struck her...but now it's just murky because they are vague. I never knew I had so many tears inside me. We were kind of estranged when this accident happened. I don't know if that makes it better or worse in terms of how much grief. I have so many regrets for not being a good enough Mom to her...I love & miss her so much.

Susan

[mikesmum]

I lost my daughter Marisa, who was 42, almost 4 months ago. She died of a traumatic brain injury, apparently after slipping in a hotel bathroom. It happened in New Jersey. I am not convinced there wasn't a boyfriend involved but the police say he has an alibi - but i kind of wonder if they are holding back information from us. At first they were really gung ho that he had struck her...but now it's just murky because they are vague. I never knew I had so many tears inside me. We were kind of estranged when this accident happened. I don't know if that makes it better or worse in terms of how much grief. I have so many regrets for not being a good enough Mom to her...I love & miss her so much.

Susan

Susan ~ No matter their age, their circumstances they are our children and the tears we shed are for the child we know in our hearts.

Its hard enough to lose a child, but when the details of how and why are muddled it makes it that much harder. As for how much you grieve...well I learnt early that the depth of our grief can be measured by the depth of our love. The regrets, the whatifs the ifonlys are unfortunately a sad part of this grief journey.

You have found a place where you are not alone. Many post on the loss of an Adult Child. For me, my only advice to you would be not to define your daughter by that one last day...but to share her life, her stories. Our children are so much more than that one day.

My son Micheal died 5 1/2 years ago. He was 31. A first it was thought his partner was involved in the 'accidental overdose'. I spent almost a year with such a blinding anger towards this woman only to find she wasn't to blame...but then I needed to blame someone and I couldn't blame my son. The final coroners report came almost 2yrs later......hard to read...even harder to believe.

Life has altered beyond belief for me. For most part I am unrecogniseable. But here I have found friendships that transend the loss of our children...that give me the strength to be present in the lives of my remainging children and for that I am ever greatful.

Please come here as you need, post or read its up to you. But above all be kind to yourself. Nothing compares to losing a child...nothing....Trudi