Members elRey Posted June 21, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2012 Hello, I am new to this website. I was looking around the web for sites about grief and I came across it and decided to register. My best friend, Kathie, died four months ago. She was 57 years old and died suddenly from necrotic fasciitis. NF has been in the news lately with 2 young people who have contracted it, but are surviving. My friend became ill and died 4 days later from NF. From what I have learned after the fact, this is more typical of the infection and that it has a 70% fatality rate. Kathie and I became friends later in life. We weren't childhood friends, although we did grew up just a few towns apart. We attended many of the same events and hung out in the places, but never knew eachother. We followed similar paths in life, both becoming librarians, she right out of college, and me as a third or fourth career. This is when we met, at the library I was hired at, and where she worked as well. We became work friends first, then friends with each of our spouses and then friends for life. We had known eachother for 20 years and very close for 16 of those years. The grief is overwhelming and has not gotten any better in 4 months. I am truly heartbroken. I find myself staring out windows hoping to see her round the corner. I look across the room at work, hoping to see her smiling at me. If anything the grief is worse now than it was shortly after she died. The reality of never seeing her again I guess is the cause. People say to me, it's God's plan, or in time you will feel better. I want to say back, "What kind of God could take someone like Kathie?" People say to me, soon the memories will make you smile and not cry. Not sure if this will happen, although sometimes I can feel her so close...whispering to me..."snap out of it for pete's sake, you know I'm waiting for you." I never used to believe in contact from the dead. Maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me wishing for that contact. Sometimes though she seems so close, just out of reach...other times not. I am fortunate to have so much to live for...a loving wife, 2 grown-up kids, 2 grandkids, friends and family. I have an okay job and I'm looking forward to retirement in a little over 2 years. But I feel so adrift, listless, and going through the motions. I lost my mom in 1981, but never have I experienced grief like this. Not sure what I'm looking for by joining this website...maybe some contact from others who are going through the same thing or have gone through it in the past. Thanks for reading the post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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