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Unanswered Questions: Sudden Loss


aguacate

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My Father died suddenly in a motorcycle accident about 3 weeks ago.

He saw a lot of himself in me (interests, personality traits, physical appearance), and he was proud of my adventurous lifestyle as an expat in several locales. However, since I've been away for the majority of the past several years, I feel that I missed out on opportunities. I am lucky that when I was home in December, I had some deep conversations with him about our Father-Daughter relationship and about me.

I'm sure I would be feeling even worse if I had not had those experiences, but I did not see him in the final months of his life. I was very busy, and I pushed him away by barely responding to his emails and requests for information. Now he's gone. I married a foreigner under intense circumstances, so I had to go have a fast notary ceremony in his country last summer. My Dad never met my husband. My Dad was planning to visit us and was planning a US wedding celebration, sort of a second wedding. Now I have to live with the fact that he never met my husband and none of those plans will come to fruition.

I am happy to be back with my husband now and am not feeling depressed, but I AM feeling deeply empty at times and a bit lost.

How do you cope with the feeling of having had "unanswered questions"? Any input or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated. I cannot believe I even joined this group, in a way. I guess it's a sign that I really need some help.

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Daffodilfun

All of us have felt the loss, guilt, loneliness and the whys. It is normal to feel this way. Your dad would understand and is supporting you in your every step, even though you cannot see him physically. Having the father-daughter time together is a bond that can never be broken. Think upon that time often and know that your dad saw you as the daugher that he knew you to be. Lean on your husband and continue with your plans. Your father will be there no matter where the world takes you.

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All of us have felt the loss, guilt, loneliness and the whys. It is normal to feel this way. Your dad would understand and is supporting you in your every step, even though you cannot see him physically. Having the father-daughter time together is a bond that can never be broken. Think upon that time often and know that your dad saw you as the daugher that he knew you to be. Lean on your husband and continue with your plans. Your father will be there no matter where the world takes you.

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