I am broken after my cat’s death

[Lorrainepc]

I came across this online support group.

I lost my darling cat Lou 2 days ago, she was hit by a motorcycle & died instantly. My neighbour came to my door to tell me in the early hours. I had stupidly let her outside as she dad started scratching on doors waking us up, I tried ignoring her but that didn’t work. I started letting her out around 3am. This particular morning it was early I think around 1am. I opened the back door & said nicely off you go then. I went back to bed, it’s a quiet lane & then I don’t know how long after I heard the bike, it made a noise like the person riding it slipped on the pedal or something, then I heard it go down the street. I don’t know how long after as I was semi awake I heard my neighbour at my front door calling my name, I raced downstairs, I heard her say your cat, I felt sick, her son & daughter were outside, they had toileted their dog across the road on the small grassed area & as they crossed back their dog alerted them to Lou lying dead on the pavement. 
I went into shock, she was gone & part of me has gone too. I wish I could rewind that night & not let her out. My neighbour drove me to vet, but I knew she was gone. The vet tried but she was gone, I felt like I was living a nightmare as the vet said Iam sorry we tried everything. I was dreading telling my daughter when I got back with Lou’s body wrapped up. She was hysterical.  I have never felt pain like this, I’ve had pets before that I’ve lost but Lou was my soul mate & helped me in so many ways over the last 10 years my constant companion. I just feel so alone but realise iam not the only one suffering. I just feel so guilty.

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  I would be crushed too.  
 

You can rest assured your kitty is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 19 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[Lorrainepc]

Than you Kayc for your kind words , it means a lot. 

[Rebecca75]

I’m so sorry, Lorraine 💔💜 I am in a pet loss grief group full of people who understand what you are going through. If you feel like you would like to join us we’d be happy to have you!