Lost my beloved Cricket to cancer

[Babs Anne]

I just found this site because I’m struggling to stop thinking of my beloved childhood dog named Cricket. I just started my first year of college and I am 18F. I got Cricket, a small, black, poodle-terrier mix, when I was about 6 years old. She slept with me the first night we brought her home and I loved her so. She was put down 3 days ago and it still hurts so much. I have Wednesdays off for class and I’m so relieved that I was home to help her, because if I wasn’t I’m afraid her death would’ve been very painful and lonely. I was making food and noticed she was panting very hard behind the couch. She was unable to walk and just laid limp and panting. All I did was sob because I knew she wasn’t going to get better after seeing her in such a state. We rushed to our animal hospital and we were told that she had a large cancerous mass that had spread to her lungs. We decided to put her down instead of sending her to surgery because of the state she was in; there was nothing the vets could do to get her stable. She lived 12 long and loved-filled years and I cannot stop thinking of her. Everyone that came to my home adored her, and she adored them. She was full of character for such a scruffy little dog. She had full access to our (decently large) yard and would sometimes go outside just to enjoy the weather. It was really hard for me and my parents because Cricket had been doing a lot better than she was 6 months before. I’m so glad she returned to a puppy-like state in her last few months and had her mischievous spark back for a bit . I think we gave her an amazing and spoiled life, but I still can’t help thinking of all the situations in which things are different. This was mostly a memorial post for Cricket and I have no idea if it will be approved (again, first time here!). I dislike being open with my emotions around my family and friends, so I think sharing my genuine feelings for her would help. Thank you for reading and I wish you all a peaceful healing.

[KayC]

Your story is so much like mine only I'm 72 now. When I was five my parents took me to pick out a puppy, he was a small lab mix, I named him Huckleberry Hound, we called him Huck. When I left home they wouldn't let me take him with me, but I was 20 when they called and said they had him put to sleep.  They didn't tell me ahead of time so I could say goodbye.  He was 15.

I am so sorry for your loss, the hardest thing in the world.  
The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 19 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[Jim M]

Beautiful pictures.  I know when I think of my Pal preston who died in july this year, being horribley sad he is gone is slowly changing to reflecting fondly on how blessed we were to have had him to care for. Preston died at age 12 of cancer, also. Be thankful and happy for all the good times you and Cricket had together. Be happy how lucky you both were toi have each other. I could have never been, you know. And everyone passes. Be thankful. 

[KayC]

2 hours ago, Jim M said:

Preston died at age 12 of cancer, also.

So did my last dog, Arlie.