Members Bud Posted September 30 Members Report Posted September 30 It's been 5 weeks and still so much pain. I miss my Teddy so much. They say it gets better but does it really ? I try to keep busy but these big waves of grief come crashing in. 1 step forward 3 steps back. There has to be so many dog deaths out there and are a majority of these pet parents going through the same thing ? GRIEF ? Sometimes I just feel all alone without my soulmate. A part of me died when my Ted Man died. I'm a grown Man and cry almost daily. Just feels like one big nightmare. Still waiting to wake up so I can see Teddy. 2
Moderators KayC Posted September 30 Moderators Report Posted September 30 I am so sorry for your loss, It's how I felt five years ago when I lost my Arlie to cancer, he was my soulmate in a dog. You can rest assured your dog is at peace now... The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 19 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs... Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers A Dangerous Villain: Guilt Breaking the Power of Guilt A Dangerous Villain: Guilt http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.
Members Bud Posted September 30 Author Members Report Posted September 30 Kayc thanks for responding. To be honest with you I cannot watch the video you sent. It reminds me to much of how free and Loving my Teddy was. I still cannot look at pictures of him, just hurts so bad. I just want to be with him to take care of him and I know if he's in an afterlife he misses me too. I know, sounds weird ! I pray alot now for God to let me be with him someday. I really don't think anyone knows how close I was to my boy. The hurt is killing me. I don't think I'll ever be the same. 1
Moderators KayC Posted September 30 Moderators Report Posted September 30 I know, I was so close to my Arlie, he was my soulmate in a dog. It helped me to write this so his life would never be forgotten. And our cancer journey...
Members MareBear Posted October 3 Members Report Posted October 3 I feel the same way. It’s been 2 weeks for me since I’ve lost my soul pup and the grief seems unbearable at times. I honestly don’t think all pet owners grieve like this. But I also believe they likely didn’t experience the soul connections we did. I’m really sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. 1
Members Bud Posted October 3 Author Members Report Posted October 3 They say you never get over it but it gets easier. I just can't see how I can fully function the rest of my life like this. This is so painful ! All I want is my Tedman back but I know I can't have him. So I pray to God to take care of him till I get there. I just wish I knew if God takes our fur babies to heaven ? 2
Members MareBear Posted October 3 Members Report Posted October 3 I get it. I really do. I feel the same way. I truly believe dogs have souls and mine will be there when it’s my time. It’s just the agonizing amount of years living without him before it happens that I’m dreading. 1
Members AJWCat Posted October 7 Members Report Posted October 7 After losing my cat, suddenly and horribly, I literally had PTSD afterward. The first month was incredibly hard. One days seems "okay" the next day, you fall apart like it's Day One. Time does heal. It just takes a long time, it's slow. I try to remind myself that's just how important he was to us. Even though I've had another cat now for the last 7 years (I got her a few months later) I still love him and will never forget him. At least the physical heartache is gone. That was crushing. 1
Members Bud Posted October 7 Author Members Report Posted October 7 It's been 6 weeks, I'm still hurting for Teddy. I can't believe I'm still crying like you said, it comes and goes. Just when ya think no more crying it hits you like a brick. Yes, im a grown man and can't believe I cry like a baby. Is this normal ? I've lost a Dad a sister but this tops it off ! This is the worst I've ever gone thru in my life. I just pray to God every day to please let me be with him when I go. Funny thing is, it did bring me closer to God because If doggies go to Heaven, I want to some how make it there too, to be with my little Ted Man ! Please God forgive me for my sins ! 1
Members TaraAnn Posted October 12 Members Report Posted October 12 On 9/30/2024 at 7:59 AM, Bud said: Kayc thanks for responding. To be honest with you I cannot watch the video you sent. It reminds me to much of how free and Loving my Teddy was. I still cannot look at pictures of him, just hurts so bad. I just want to be with him to take care of him and I know if he's in an afterlife he misses me too. I know, sounds weird ! I pray alot now for God to let me be with him someday. I really don't think anyone knows how close I was to my boy. The hurt is killing me. I don't think I'll ever be the same. I'm right there with you Bud.. I really am. It's been a month since I lost my golden of almost 14 years. I just can't stand it!!! The worst is I had to put him down right before my 50th birthday. My baby boy... I do the same try to busy myself.. Then I return home and I expect to see him when I open the door.. But all I do is open the door to more tears. I am right there with you.. 1
Moderators KayC Posted October 12 Moderators Report Posted October 12 @TaraAnn I am so sorry for your loss. My last dog was half Husky, half Golden Retriever, a great combination, my gentle giant. You can rest assured your dog is at peace now... The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 19 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs... Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers A Dangerous Villain: Guilt Breaking the Power of Guilt A Dangerous Villain: Guilt http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.
Members Jim M Posted October 17 Members Report Posted October 17 After I lost my best pal Preston, I started to realize that he would want me to be happy, just like I wanted him to be when he was with me. Teddy may be telling you the same thing. Think that over now and then. It helped me. 1
Members Bud Posted October 17 Author Members Report Posted October 17 I know what your saying Jim , I guess I need to step up and be positive. Quit feeling guilty. Quit being depressed. Quit thinking if only 1 more day. Quit thinking will I ever see him again. Quit thinking I'll never be the same. All these thoughts keep messing with my head. It is getting a little better but these thoughts never completely leave my head. I just miss my Boy so much. And just writing about him on here brings tears to my eyes. He was and most likely will ever be the only one. I can't even amagine having to go through this ever again.
Members Jim M Posted October 17 Members Report Posted October 17 Well--you can try to be positive and noit feel guilty--but its usually said that when the guilt and sadness come, its best not to fight it. These feelings are normal and natural a,d trying too hard to bottle them up -- I know with me, it just makes me feel worse. But over the weeks, for me those times came less, and in between thise times I would think of Preston and be grateful that I had him and know that he would want me to me happy. But, when the really sad times come, you really can't fight them. But they became shorter and less often over time. AT least for me. My boy passed on 7/26. The good memories are starting to come more often and the sad times less. But still not gone. They say that takes a long, long time. 1
Members Bud Posted October 17 Author Members Report Posted October 17 Believe me, I m not fighting the feelings. And yes, they are becoming less frequent. Today is actually the first time I looked at pictures of him and here comes the feelings ! But I'm OK! I think? 1
Members Michelle77 Posted October 20 Members Report Posted October 20 On 10/17/2024 at 1:44 PM, Bud said: I know what your saying Jim , I guess I need to step up and be positive. Quit feeling guilty. Quit being depressed. Quit thinking if only 1 more day. Quit thinking will I ever see him again. Quit thinking I'll never be the same. All these thoughts keep messing with my head. It is getting a little better but these thoughts never completely leave my head. I just miss my Boy so much. And just writing about him on here brings tears to my eyes. He was and most likely will ever be the only one. I can't even amagine having to go through this ever again.
Members Michelle77 Posted October 20 Members Report Posted October 20 I was feeling down about my cat I lost 8 years ago and I saw this site. It was so amazing to see so many others understand that type of grief. They are your soul mate, and I too feel the pain and grief and guilt I ended up in the hospital 5 months after he passed, I couldn’t eat and I just wanted a drink to block it out. It caught up with my heart, I just wanted to be with him and life was empty. I had family etc but this pain took over me. Trying to sleep without him cuddly up. On my lap every time I sat down, and that welcome home. I wasn’t going to get another cat, but I lost my dad just before covid and that was hard too. So I got my new cat Kobe 3 years ago, he has helped me and he’s different to Sami, he doesn’t cuddle much but he’s my great companion and love him very much. But I never forget Sami and it doesn’t take the pain away when I think of him. The love goes on forever and I know he’s with me and I will see him again. I have lost many people I love dearly, but when I get to heaven my heart needs to see my Sami first . I never thought your soul could be so attached to another. I feel for you all going through the same , life is a gift and our fur babies are a gift. We need to go on, but we all know a part of us is missing. A love eternal and a friend like no other , who is in a better place knowing they will see us again too . 2
Moderators KayC Posted October 20 Moderators Report Posted October 20 I lost my soulmate in a dog over five years ago. My son brought me a dog a few months later, conceived when Arlie died, born on my birthday. When he sent me a video & pictures, the name Kodie popped into my head. When he brought him to me...guess what was on his collar & tag...Kodie. I'd like to think Arlie had his paw in it. He is small, Arlie was huge. Arlie was goofy and fun, Kodie is totally different, he is a natural born service dog. The easiest dog I've ever trained, always nearby, a natural. He's registered a service dog and would go on the platform with me when I led the singing. He loved going to church and the people. This week my pastor told me I couldn't bring him, too many people complained to him of allergies. My heart is broken. Two other dogs that were elderly and used to come with their owners just died, I think that prompted him to seize the moment so he'd only have to tell me. When I broke the news to Kodie his grave concern was me. Little did I know all those years ago that I'd be disabled and need a service dog. I think Arlie knew. We feel a part of us is missing because it is. They take part of our heart with them. 1
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