Miss my boy so much

[Butterfly90]

I sadly had to have my 12 year old Springer Spaniel (Toby) put to sleep yesterday. 
I pushed myself to be there in his last few moments and I’m so glad I did, as I owed it to him and he did so much for us. But I just can’t get those last moments out of my head and seeing the life go from his eyes.

i just keep thinking maybe there was something we could have done to get him back to health and we could have had up to 2-3 more years with him. But the vet said he had developed anaemia and wasn’t regenerating red blood cells. Plus he had been diagnosed with heart disease 5 months ago when he had to have a tie back surgery to save his life.

I just can’t cope with the pain. Not seeing him ever again, stroking his soft muzzle is just killing me. 

 

 

 

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss, I would have done anything for my Arlie, my soulmate in a dog, but alas his vet said he had inoperable cancer. Why then did he get a clean bill of health at his physical two weeks before!

Your dog is at peace now, his pain has been traded for yours. It's just so hard.

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 19 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

 

[Jim M]

I feel exactly the same way about the last moments of my pal Preston, who was put to sleep 7/26/24 (2 Months).

Most of the other things I miss about him, over the two months began turning to good memories (not all the time, but am getting there).  But reliving his last moments is still the one thing I can't stop tearing up about.  Its like I wish I hadn't been there--but then the guilt hits about even daring to  think  of not being there. We all need to be there for them at that time.   But it will soften over time. You'll remember him fondly and thank God he'd been part of your life. 

You are not alone. 

[KayC]

And I am sorry about your loss as well.  It's one of the hardest losses we can go through.